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Opinions?
To make a long story short:
My husband has a female friend he's known since highschool that has has caused various problems in our relationship through out the entire time he and I have been together (10 years in April). At one point she sued us, another she was sending racy texts to him, she makes snide remarks and belittles me and our marriage. I've been able to ignore just about everything she says and does until this summer when i came home after being gone a week at my internship for school and DH and I made plans to go out for dinner for our anniversary and five minutes later she called and he walked out the door to go to her house. When I mentioned dinner plans he ignored me. We got into a fight through text (not the best way) and he didn't come home until midnight and walked in the door and asked me to leave. A few days later I again found inappropriate texts from his friend and confronted her at a barbecue about them. She stated she is happily married and feels that if a person is unhappy they should just leave. She also sent texts to DH saying I was crazy, was going to poison him and put spells on him and that he needed to get out fast. A couple of months of arguing and dealing with DH being a verbally abusive jerk and listening to "I don't love you anymore" blah blah blah I found out he was seeing one of her friends. No sex but was going over to her house to "Talk about us". This girl he was seeing he met at the barbecue where I confronted his friend. At that point I quit talking to him and quit trying to fight to make everything work and told him I would talk to him in counseling and that's what we did. Several months later, I'm still angry. I'm still hurt and I still have moments where I feel like living on my own would be better. I have major trust issues because he never stopped talking to his female friend or her husband even though I asked him to and he lies about it. He also thinks there should be a time limit as to when I have to stop being angry about what happened. I've never been the kind of person to run away and would LIKE to work this out but I no longer trust DH and he isn't making it any easier. We're finally on speaking terms again but I'm no longer happy. But I don't know that I'm ready to move on by myself. We don't have any children and rent an apartment so as far as it goes dividing things would be easy. He blames a lot of what happened on me because I was too busy with school to be here. What would you do?
Re: Opinions?
In my book, no trust = no relationship.
He's being verbally abusive, he's lying to you, he's had/having an emotional affair and puts his friends before you.
Gee, what's not to love?
He's told you he wants out. He told you he doesn't love you.
Believe him. Time to find an attorney to help you figure out what you need before you file.
I know you say you're "not ready" to move on by yourself, but don't you think being by yourself would be better than being with this jackhole? Most people are perfectly capable of making themselves miserable and don't need help from anyone else, much less a spouse.
He's told you that he doesn't love you anymore.
He has had (and maybe is still having) at the very least an emotional affair.
He is, in your words, "a verbally abusive jerk".
You don't trust him.
He doesn't think your anger over his abuse and affair is valid.
He's blaming you for his affair.
You're still with him why? Ready or not, it sounds like it's time for you to cut your losses and get out.
Wow...
My husband has a female friend he's known since highschool that has has caused various problems in our relationship through out the entire time he and I have been together (10 years in April).
So you have been putting up with her and his doormat-ness and the entire shady kit and kaboodle for 10 long years.
Why are you with this jerk?
Fact of the matter is this:
He fancies her over you. WOW --- if anybody said anything rotten about my H, I'd have his or her hide! And that is precisely what he should have done to this "friend" and booted her out of his life. That didn't happen, however.
This little triangle with you her and him is loaded with red flags. It's your lookout why you married him...but you do not HAVE to stay married to him.
I'd let him keep this "friend" he thinks the moon, world and universe of and I'd get the hell out of Dodge.
Give serious thought to giving this jerk the keys to the road. If you stay with him any longer, you'll have quite a number done on whatever is left of your self esteem.
She also sound clinically nuts:
She also sent texts to DH saying I was crazy, was going to poison him and put spells on him and that he needed to get out fast.
Do yourself a favor: run like hell -- there is nothing to love here. Get your financial ducks in a row and when you do, file. There's nothing here for you, like I said.
Drop this guy like a bad habit; let this prince and princess have each other; they can buy each other's crazy.
Sorry you're having such trouble. He's not worth it. Leave him.
My opinion?
Your are married to a douche
Youve been married WAY TOO long
He disrespects you
you disrepect yourself
They are both laughing at you
He has been sleeping with her on and off all these years
He doesnt love you
You dont love yourself
should i continue?
Here's a good spell for you:
This spell is a curse and should be used with extreme caution! The results may be devastating for those who are not prepared for the outcome. A warning your thoughts must be clear in order to make this curse work.
Scatter the bones do so at the time you repeat that line. Introduce the picture of the enemy.
Chant.
''Ashes to Ashes, dust to dust Twist and bend the bones to bust I scatter these bones, these bones full of my rage Take them as an offering to bring thy enemy pain I see thy enemy before me now I bind him, crush him, and knock him down With these bones I now do crush Grind thy enemies into dust With the eternal fires out of control With this curse I take thy soul This is my will let it be done.''
That'll learn 'im
This plus divorce him now and then thank your lucky stars that you dont have to spend one extra min with that douche,
1) My money says he banged the friend, and the new girl. Double or nothing that you already know this, in your gut.
2) Your H is a douche. I don't know why you've stayed as long as you have, especially *knowing he's been cheating on you. He's blaming you for him cheating on you and being an azzhole?!?
3) You deserve better than this. His shiit on the porch, change the locks, call a lawyer. Fvvvck this noise.
What would I do? I would divorce his stupidass.
I mean, duh. Is he really worth all of this bullshiit?
Divorce. Why would you put up with so much disrespect?
He's clearly banging his friend. Although, that sounds like the LEAST of your problems.
I got some pretty great advice from an older friend during my dark days- when a man tells you who he is, believe him.
Take that for what it's worth.
Nothing but divorce will fix this. You married a giant dovchebag who will ALWAYS be a giant dovchebag.
And yes, you ARE blaming her. You SAY you fully put due responsibility on your azzhole H... but everything you actually write proves the opposite.
And honey, if the friend up and dies tomorrow... these issues with your H wont go away. He'll find another girl to f00k and treat you like shyt over.
Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
1) So this has happened before, but for some reason this time is different?
2) None of that excuses his actions.
3) You don't. This just makes your H even more of a douche. He cheated and he wants you to forget it because it was "6 months ago"