when is reasonable to ask?

MarylandWed · January 2012

a friend and i bought a groupon for a yoga retreat last week. it was a great deal: $225 for two nights for both of us and it includes all meals and several yoga classes and meditation opportunities in a wonderful setting. i paid the $225 from my paypal. a couple of days later i saw her and she paid for my cover at the bar. i told her she didnt have to and she said oh it's the first payment of what i owe you for the retreat. so now she owes me $107.50 instead of $112.50 lol. i kind of expected a check right away. it hasn't been too long but how would you handle this? it's not on a credit card so i can't use paying it off as an excuse but it's cash that i do need (not in a dire way, but money is tight). when we were talking about who would buy the groupon (one of us had to buy it for both of us) when i offered i said i could as long as she paid me back somewhat soon (or something like that). i just feel like in the casual way she handled the cover that maybe she just plans to pay me in dribs and drabs over several months (and yay i get to keep a tally) which is not what i had in mind. fwiw she does have the money.

xDanniellex · January 2012

I'd ask for it now. It's only fair. TBH I would either send an email/message/text instead of asking in person/on phone. I would just say that money isn't that great and you could really use her half of the money as soon as she can pay you back. You aren't lying and you're being up front. I would hate to have to keep a tally of small amounts she spends in order to get paid back.

Sorry you have to deal with that.

shmoozer · January 2012

I would ask now. And I would say, " can your let me know when I can expect the $$?" no explanation needed. If I owed you the money, I wouldnt expect a justification.

You can do it!

AKBrideinMD · January 2012

Yeah, now. I hate situations like this. But she definitely owes you the money and at the very least, an explanation, soon.

BMWwife · January 2012

shmoozer:
I would ask now. And I would say, " can your let me know when I can expect the $$?" no explanation needed. If I owed you the money, I wouldnt expect a justification.

You can do it!

This. If you feel akward you can open with. "So when do you want to plan our yoga trip?? Think you can get me the money soon?"

*city bride* · January 2012

In an Arnold voice: "Do it nahw!"

The longer you wait, the more weird it will be. I'd be so annoyed if someone intended to pay back $112 in $5 increments.

LSUmommy4 · January 2012

I think you have a great excuse of going to L.A. and needing the money.

So I would just shoot her an email or text and say hey do you know when you'll be paying the rest of the money for our trip? With me heading to L.A. for a few days I'll be missing that cash flow and I paid out of my account and could use it.

She shouldn't get upset by that.

TheFutureMrs08 · January 2012

I agree that I'd ask for it now - as uncomfortable as it may be the only way to get the answer your looking for is to be direct. "When can I pick up the check for what you owe me?" - that way your not letting her to blow you off. If she gives you an excuse, just be honest in that you need to money now.

I would never do that to a friend, I hate when people assume they can pay you when they want which is not right

MarylandWed · January 2012

thanks guys!! i emailed her on Monday about a couple of other things and also wrote, "when do you think you'll be sending the check?" no excuses, or explanations. she wrote back and said sorry she had forgotten and asked for my address and a total. she said thank you for reminding me. hopefully the check will be here when i get back so it doesn't become an issue.

when is reasonable to ask?

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