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Longtime lurker with question. What are your reasons for not wanting kids?

My husband and I are pretty much on the same page about not wanting children.  I have 8 neices and nephews who I love very much but I myself think I will always be a little too selfish for children.  I guess I wonder if in 10 years (when Im too old, Im already 35) I or we will regret this decision.  We have a great life which we both love.  Im just curious as to some of the reasons why you and your spouse or s/o have decided not to have children.

Re: Longtime lurker with question. What are your reasons for not wanting kids?

  • I think if you were a longtime lurker you'd have seen the responses from last week.. or the week before.. or the week before..
  • It's simple. I just don't want them right now.

     

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  • Because I hate kids.
  • And kids are total assholes.
  • I'm a pushover with discipling my dogs, so I'm sure it would be the same with children. <--- typing this I realize if I'm comparing dogs with babies I just proved a point.

    I couldn't imagine being responsible for another human life.

    I think the teenage years would just about kill me.

    I love sleep.

    I love spending my money on me.

    I love travel.

    I also just want to be the cool aunt.

    But what do I know? I'm young and haven't made my mind up.

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  • Thanks Staza424 for sending that link.  I have never lurked on this board but thought this was the appropriate board to ask the question so Im sorry if I didnt see the posts from the previous weeks and months.  All very interesting and insightful.  Thanks again
  • imageStaza424:

    Yes 

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  • imageouterbanks+2012:
    I myself think I will always be a little too selfish for children.

    *sigh*  It really bothers me when people say this.  You're not selfish just for not having or wanting kids and neither is anyone else who's child-free.  You're smart for making an informed decision and not having them if that's what's best for you.    

    Also, please, for the love of God, don't say this around any people with kids because about 9/10 of them will wrongly agree with you, unfortunately.     

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  • imageKDuv612:

    imageouterbanks+2012:
    I myself think I will always be a little too selfish for children.

    *sigh*  It really bothers me when people say this.  You're not selfish just for not having or wanting kids and neither is anyone else who's child-free.  You're smart for making an informed decision and not having them if that's what's best for you.    

    Also, please, for the love of God, don't say this around any people with kids because about 9/10 of them will wrongly agree with you, unfortunately.     

    I know! That really grinds my gears.

  • Not a fan of 'em. Can't imagine being a mom. Blahblahblah. Doesn't matter what our reasons are. You have yours, and that's all you need. 
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  • Yes  To KD and Liz. I agree.

     

    I do not want them, because I don't. 

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  • No matter how many times you wash them, they're ALWAYS STICKY!
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  • imageKDuv612:

    imageouterbanks+2012:
    I myself think I will always be a little too selfish for children.

    *sigh*  It really bothers me when people say this.  You're not selfish just for not having or wanting kids and neither is anyone else who's child-free.  You're smart for making an informed decision and not having them if that's what's best for you.    

    Also, please, for the love of God, don't say this around any people with kids because about 9/10 of them will wrongly agree with you, unfortunately.     

     

    I don't think she meant she thinks she's selfish for not wanting to have kids.  I read it as she doesn't want to have kids because she likes to be selfish. 

     As in, I don't want to lose sleep to get up with a kid, I don't want to stop traveling because I have to save for their college, I don't want to give up my BMW for a minivan, etc. 

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  • imagejemmini6:
    imageKDuv612:

    imageouterbanks+2012:
    I myself think I will always be a little too selfish for children.

    *sigh*  It really bothers me when people say this.  You're not selfish just for not having or wanting kids and neither is anyone else who's child-free.  You're smart for making an informed decision and not having them if that's what's best for you.    

    Also, please, for the love of God, don't say this around any people with kids because about 9/10 of them will wrongly agree with you, unfortunately.     

     

    I don't think she meant she thinks she's selfish for not wanting to have kids.  I read it as she doesn't want to have kids because she likes to be selfish. 

     As in, I don't want to lose sleep to get up with a kid, I don't want to stop traveling because I have to save for their college, I don't want to give up my BMW for a minivan, etc. 

    I don't see the difference because those reasons still shouldn't be labeled as selfish, in my opinion.  If being child-free is what you want then that should be perfectly fine and acceptable no matter what the reasons.  

    Seeing the word "selfish" used to describe child-free people just gets old, and I think it's sad to hear people use it to describe themselves.  It's like they feel a sense of guilt about it and it's not an acceptable choice, when it should be.  I just want people to own it and be proud if that's what's right for them.    

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  • That's not being selfish. That's having different priorities than some people.
  • imagelizardesque:
    That's not being selfish. That's having different priorities than some people.

    Exactly. 

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  • I'm in law school, DH is trying to find a teaching job, and I have a lot of things I'd like to do and see before I need to worry about bringing kids along for the ride. Plus, I'm still in the "most kids are obnoxious tools" stage of my life.


    image
    Pipe down, you had your chance!

  • Because I don't like kids. I've never liked kids. They're noisy and dirty, always getting into trouble and it's just more drama and trouble as they grow up. And they're too expensive. And they're always there. They don't leave you alone until they turn 18 and that's only if you're lucky. Sometimes I wonder why anyone would want children!

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  • I love children and want them eventually... but DH and I just got married in November and all people ask when they see us is "So, are you thinking about having kids soon?"... I would like to graduate school and get a better job before we pop those suckers out.

    And even though I want kids, I would never judge someone who doesn't want them. I'd rather people be smart, and not have them if they don't want them, then feel obligated to do so.

    image
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