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Intro & Ask Me Anything
Hi All!
I've lurked on this board for a while but have never posted anything. I figured that today is just as good of a day as any to start!
I've been on The Nest for a few years. Was married in 2008 to a vile and disgusting abusive man. I separated from him 4 times before finally leaving for good in April of 2010 after a particularly scary and life-altering occurrence. The divorce wasn't final until June of 2011. While I was in the marriage I devoured any domestic violence-related reading material that I could get my hands on and have since become an advocate for DV prevention and intervention. If you are thinking about leaving an abusive partner or have left one and just want to chat about it you can always page me on TIP pm me.
My greatest triumph was graduating with my MBA despite my abuser in May of 2010 and I definitely thought that I'd have some corporate job by now. Instead I have been pursuing my biggest passion, which is dance, for the past year and a half. I direct 3 dance teams of the most precious girls ages 4-12 and I absolutely love it! As for a day job I do freelance marketing and general business consulting but recently have decided that I'd like to pursue a career in education administration as it will allow me to work during the day but still dance in the evenings and in the summers. Crazy how life never turns out how we expect it to...
I'm not dating anyone at the moment and feel like I'm so out of touch with that whole scene. I'm ok with that for now and realize that I still need time to heal but my greatest desire is to be married again and to have a family one day!
Everyone seems very nice and supportive here and I'd love to become a part of the board :-)
Feel free to ask me anything!
Re: Intro & Ask Me Anything
Hello and Welcome!
At what age did you start dancing?
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
What was the first sign of abuse? Sorry if that's too personal, you don't have to answer if you're uncomfortable.
A more lighthearted question - What's your favorite food?
Welcome! What styles of dance do you do?
Thanks for the welcome! I started dancing at age 4. I was apparently the most terrible kid in the ballet class and had absolutely no rhythm so my family always laughs at the irony of me having made a career of sorts out of dancing...
Not too personal! I am pretty much an open book when it comes to the abuse :-)
The first sign of the abuse wasn't physical which was probably why I overlooked it during the 2.5 years that we dated. He was pretty controlling under the guise of 'caring for me/knowing what was best for me'. That was probably the first warning. Also his double standards while dating, he was allowed to have female friends that even slept over but he made it clear that my relationships with my male friends had to change to the point of him questioning me even having phone conversations with them. Physical abuse...probably not allowing me to leave his apartment during a disagreement, blocking my path, restraining me (albeit gently) etc. On one occasion he punched my steering wheel with his fist while we were sitting in my car arguing...at the time I didn't even know that was considered physical abuse because he hadn't hit me...yet.
My favorite food is rice! Any kind!
Thanks!
I teach contemporary, jazz, modern, and a bit of hip hop and ballet.
You are so sweet! Thanks for the kind comments :-)
My life is not where I'd like it to be quite yet but anything is better than what it was!