February 2008 Weddings
AMJ6511
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Come on in..
I'm torn about what to do. H and I are both graduating as pharmacists in May and are starting to apply to jobs. The market up here isn't that great and everyone (professors, preceptors etc) is starting to tell us to look into another state. We both decided on FL because we want nicer weather and think it would be nice to live near a beach. Oh, and of course...we both love Disney lol.
However, our families are trying to guilt us into staying. I feel really guilty, but I just want to move to a beach for a little bit. Is that so wrong?!
And I'm worried about not making new friends in a new state and that no one would ever come visit us and I will never get to use our wedding china.
Re: Come on in..
Well it's definitely a tough decision but, at this point, you've got to go where the jobs are. I miss the beach terribly. although Florida was always a little humid for me. I recommend Cali. lol
I think as long as you two are both in agreement, then go for it. A change of scenary is always nice plus, if the job market is terrible there you have limited options anyway. My mom has always guilted me for moving away (even though it's only a 5 hours drive) but I did what I had to do for school.
Making friends is tough for me so that has definitely been a challenge. I had finally (at 22) gotten an awesome good group of friends that I adored in my home town, and then I left. I've been in Sacramento for a little over 4 years and still don't have anyone that I'm as close to as them. Other than Matt. But I'm slowly getting there. I'm up to 2 people that I can tolerate for extended periods of time so that's good! lol
Have you checked out the job market down there? Does it seem better than where you're at now?
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I don't want the whole world.
The sun and moon and all their light.
I just want to be the only girl, you love all your life.
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OH and I say use your wedding china anyways! lol
1380 board posts
I don't want the whole world.
The sun and moon and all their light.
I just want to be the only girl, you love all your life.
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home D
Ok. Here we go.
I say do it. DO IT DO IT DOOOOO ITTTTT!! You usually only get a very small window to do things like this before you have babies and careers and are settled and don't want to disrupt anything (jobs, schools, etc.)
BUT...
It's not always going to be easy. You will be moving away from (what sounds like) your entire support system. Although they will be a phone call and / or plane ride away, it will not be the same. Tim and I moved only a couple hours away from my hometown area to Los Angeles and a lot changed. While we are happier living here, we really only have each other to lean on. Friends are surprisingly not willing to brave the traffic all that often and we've grown apart from a number of them.
On top of that, you may find that some people from where you currently live may be bitter because you are braver than they are and are moving on with your life. When we go back to visit, things are different.
BUT I still think you should do it. Just be prepared to be a different person if / when you return home, to have to depend mostly on your husband in the new place, and to have a great adventure.
I think it will make your marriage stronger but it can be tough at times. I think ultimately you should have great positive adventures in life when you can.
That was long. I hope it made sense.
Love is friendship on fire!
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I second Cali!! I frequent there on vacation. It is my favorite and I would move there. However, in my field the Northeast is the best. We live at the Jersey Shore only 3-4 miles from the beach. I would not give up the water for anything. San Diego (or north of there on the coast) would be my vote!!!
I moved across the country to be closer to Josh when we first started dating. It meant moving a way from my family for really the first time. Before that I'd lived within 3 hours of my hometown. It has not always been easy, and there are times when I really miss being close to them. But Josh is my family now, and home for me is where we are, not where our parents are. It is about having the confidence in yourself to make decisions that are best for you and your family, even though they might now always be met with encouragement from your parents/families. It's hard, I know that my parents miss me so much and would love it if we end up back in Wisconsin, but I can't make decisions about my family based on that entirely, and I have to take my own desires and Josh's desires into account. Also, you could get jobs in Florida, gain work experience and then try to move back after a few years if you would like to.
It is normal to be nervous and worried about making new friends. But I met one of my best friends after I moved out to California and I can't even imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't met her. It's taken a little longer here in LA but slowly I've met some really nice women here at work and we get together now and then.
Moving is a big life decision, but it is fun and exciting at the same time. Hang in there and trust your instincts.
Married
I say move!
I was kind of in this situation too. The job market wasn't awesome in the state where H and I grew up, and he wanted to get his master's out of state. It totally sucked to move away from our families, and I still get sad about it a lot. But it's a lot more fun to go visit now. It also gave us a chance to just "be us" as silly as that sounds. We don't have family breathing down our necks to do things their way or be with them for this or that. It has been really hard to make friends too, but it's slowly happening.
I hope that didn't sound more negative than positive! I am really glad that H and I moved, and I don't think we could have done it if we had waited. It's so fun to have a change of scenery and have people come visit!
do we have to keep him, mom?
thoughts of a smart girl
I don't have any specific advice for you but I think at the end of the day you have to do what is best for you and what is the right decision for you and your H. Your family can't decide what is right for you and you can't base your decision on what they want. Most likely you will end up resenting them for holding you back.
Melissa made a great point when she said that you only have a limited time to take advantages of opportunities like this. I totally agree with that.
We both feel like we would regret not moving, so I feel we should do it. There also seem to be a lot more jobs that we just started to apply to as well.
California was an option, but it's even farther away and it is a lot harder to get licensed there as a pharmacist than it is in other states.
I ditto all of this!! You guys have to do what is right for you two, not your family.
This!
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THIS!!!
If you don't like it you can always move back. You don't want to look back and think of what could have been. I do that sometimes. Making friends will be fun too, meeting new people can be great for the both of you!!!!
I agree! Plus, you have to go where the jobs are!! Most people don't get the opportunity to do something like this very often, so take it while it is there!
Yup, she's a genius.
I agree with everything ogrady said. Clay and I were faced with a big decision a few months ago. When he was in Chicago, he was approached about a job in Sacramento. There were no real discussions with the company, other than what he'd be doing, etc., but we talked about it a lot. While it would be hard to live on another coast from our family, we realized that it's just me and him now and we had to make a decision that would better our future. The job didn't turn out to be what he wanted, but it was comforting to know that we were on the same page about being a team.
I lived 9 hours away from my family growing up and never felt like I missed anything. It was a big adventure for my mom, but she doesn't regret doing it.
In the end, you have to follow where your heart leads you. Moving doesn't have to be permanent.
And plus, if you're in Florida, we're muuuuuch closer than if you're in Wisconsin.
I totally agree with this and with what Melissa said. You can't base your decision on what your family wants. You don't have to make it a permanent move. There is probably going to be a window of time after you move where you feel like you don't have friends - but things like social groups, churches, cooking classes help fix that. If you and your H feel good about moving to FL - then that's what you should do.
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