Family Matters
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Were you a bad bridesmaid?
I was apparently. I dared to not squeal with joy at the thought of a trial run of hair and makeup and instead mentioned my financial limitations. I was promptly replaced. How about you?
Re: Were you a bad bridesmaid?
Not "bad," but I wish I had done more when my sister got married. She was a really awesome BM for me, but when she got married I had a baby 2 months before her wedding (she moved her wedding date later after her first date was around my due date). I arranged her shower, but wasn't too good with her batchelorette - I was nursing, it was hard for me to leave the baby, and I couldn't stay out late (b/c I was still tired).
She never complained, but I still wish I had been awesome.
Wahoo, it sounds like you were awesome. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Expecting the bridesmaids to pay for a trial hair and make-up is ludicrous. I wouldn't even want to remain friends with someone who is that out of touch with reality. That bride sounds like a horrible person with terrible manners and etiquette.
Hell no. I sucked it up and dealt with all kinds of crap, including during an issue at my brother and now-SIL's wedding. We all flew in from OOT and didn't know our way around town. SIL had the whole party meet at a hotel, in a room she booked not for an overnight stay, but so she could put on her gown and make a grand exit outside before going to church.
She told her other BM and me that we would ride in the limo from the hotel to the church and we could just leave our cars at the hotel. Then, at the hotel at the very last minute, she told us "Oh, sorry, there's not enough room for you in the limo; you'll have to drive to the church yourselves" and then gave us directions which turned out to be worthless. We both got lost and were late, and dealt with all the crap which goes with that, without bitching.
I think my twin and I are too close to judge each other like that. We live across the country from each other now, so we couldn't be together to help each other plan our weddings. We helped each other when we got in town for the weddings and with ideas for planning, but that was basically it. No showers.
I flew to FL to visit my sis a few months before my wedding, and she had secretly planned a bachelorette party for me. Our two best friends (another set of twins) had flown down from our home state (nobody told me!) and we had tons of fun, including a trip to Harry Potter World because we're all a bunch of HP nerds. It couldn't have been better. She said that I didn't need to plan her a bachelorette party since I had no way of doing it and she considered that week as her party too.
I'm going to be a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding in August, and I've been emailing with the bride but I have no idea what I'm supposed to do or how to do it since I'm 2500 miles away. I hope I'm not labeled as a "bad" bridesmaid!!
Yes, I was.
Less than a month before the wedding I found out that my fiance had been cheating on me with several women for several months. It turned my world upside down and put me in a financial mess as I struggled to pick up the pieces and support my son.
I made arrangements for childcare for the week-end and pulled it together to give her my 100% attention for the wedding, but her mom stepped up with the planning of various events. I'm very appreciative.
She's my best friend and totally knows that I wish I could of done a better job, but that I just wasn't in a position, especially financially to do anymore at the time. Someday, I'll make it up to her.
I was accused of being one. My college roommate has never forgiven me for getting the flu the week of her wedding and not being able to fly cross country for it.
I was seriously down and out. 103 fever, throwing up, couldn't get out of bed. I felt badly, but I couldn't do anything about it.
A bride once told me I was throwing her a shower in a city which I live about 45-minutes away for about 50 people. I said no - part out of principle and part out of financial necessity.
Surprisingly I was not kicked out and the wedding was fairly drama free. But the friendship has never been the same since. Probably because I am now eyes wide open to the way she treats friends.
I wasn't a bad bridesmaid, but apparently was a bad friend when my college roommate got married in Europe. No one lived there (that was in the wedding or invited to it) They just liked the idea of getting married in Europe. It was trendy or something.
Anyway, my DH lost his job three months before the wedding and I could not see going when the weekend in Europe was going to cost me a mortgage payment. Since I had no idea when he would get a new job, I called and explained.
She told me that I should borrow the money from my parents to go. It was her wedding and it wasn't fair that I wasn't coming to see her big day. She was actually mad that I was choosing practicality over a weekend in Europe. (and yes it was stressed that it would only be a weekend. everyone had to have return flights for the monday afterwards.)
She hasn't talked to me since. I don't feel any sorrow about the end of that friendship.
According to some of the nut jobs on the knot, maybe. But really? No. Thank god my friends aren't nuts. We pay for the BM dresses (as the bride). We also don't demand they go to fittings and all of that crap. I, as a BM, am there for my friend for emotional support and am there for her on that day.
i did pretty much everything i possibly could for my older sister. she told me later that she should have chosen me for MOH, which made me feel good. my little sister did choose both me and my older sister for MOH, and i did a ton of stuff again. i guess i just love wedding planning.
one of my BMs didn't come to my bridal shower. she claimed she didn't know about it. i have always thought that was weird, but i didn't hold it against her. i always thought i was a pretty low-key bride, since i did most of my own planning myself anyway. at least i hope that was the case. i wonder what my BMs would say if they were asked.
I was an amazing moh. I basically ayed the groom,he was in Iraq until he came ho
E. I also took over 100% of the dealing with the wedding planner and decision making bc the brides job went insane and she couldn't. Oh and she picked like 4 things on her registry told me that registering was awful so I did that for her too.
It was insane and I was exhausted and would only of done that for her and possibly someday my sister.
TTC since 12/06, PCOS w/ Endo & MFI - 3 Laps - 3 IVF's - 1 FET - 1 ectopic - 1 c/p - gearing up for IVF#4
My Fav Thing about Spring is Easter Candy!
'lurking' The one time I was a bridesmaid I'd say I was a very good one but I did upset the bride.
I was in a friend's wedding last May. Up until a day or so before the wedding she was very laid back about everything. We got to pick our own dresses, shoes, hair, and makeup. All 4 of the bridesmaids split the cost the of shower. We chose to get our nails done the night before the wedding and paid for the bride to. We helped set up for the wedding.Her and her DH couldn't afford a honeymoon the the whole bridal party split the cost of a nice hotel for a few night as a wedding gift.
The bride and groom wanted to do a bridal party only float trip around a week before the wedding. DH and I were TTC and my fertile window was that week so I didn't go. I was the only one. Apprently the bride got fifths disease and was cantagious during the trip. I got a BFP the day before the rehersal dinner. The bride was diagnosed the day of the rehersal. I'd had several miscarriages and didn't want to risk another one by possibly catching fifths disease from someone in the wedding party so I told the bride an hr before the rehersal that I wouldn't be in her wedding and would be attending as just a guest. She was upset. A few hours after the rehersal I started miscarrying so I called her and told her what was happening and that I could be in the wedding. She told me ok but not to change my mind again because of how upset she was the first time. She didn't seem the slightest bit concerned for me.
During the day of the wedding itself I was miscarrying and in pain. I kept my mouth shut and just tried to go with the flow and forget about what was happening. I did take full advantage of the open bar. I got pretty drunk but apprently it wasn't obvious except that I did keep telling everyone how drunk I was. I was no where near being the drunkest bridesmaid.
This friend never did apologize but I never confronted her either. We have been friends for 20 years and she is usually great so I just let it go.