February 2008 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
**MissD**
I was thinking about you the other day and was wondering how everything was going with Matt and the drinking. I hope no news is good news!
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Re: **MissD**
No new is... mediocre news. lol
Things aren't amazing but they're not bad. He still drinks from time to time but he's not drinking every night like he was and it's not massive amounts. I made a deal with him that Friday nights are OUR nights. None of his friends, no house work. Just one-on-one time with us and thus far he's stuck to that. He has not started to go to AA meetings which worries me. He's so against them for some reason and I don't really know why. Too much pride I think.
But overall things are getting better. He's been coming to bed earlier on most nights and getting up earlier for work. And he's started working out again and wanting to eat healthier so that should help with the whole drinking thing.
We still have our fights, mostly on nights he chooses to drink. I've been trying to get on all of his friends about bringing alcohol over and drinking with him in general. Most of them are cooperating but there's a few I want to kill. Including the roommate. He says he knows that Matt has a problem and is a jerk when he drinks, yet has no problem having a drink with him when alcohol is brought home. I told him that Matt is the kind of guy that prefers to drink with people because it takes away the guilt he would have from drinking alone. So roommate having a drink with him basically gives Matt the ok.
Overall though, things are a LOT better. It's always tough to say for sure because he's good about being awesome for a few weeks and then slipping back into exactly what he was doing before so I'm giving it some time before I get too comfortable. He seems different though. Happier, kind of like when we first started dating.
1380 board posts
I don't want the whole world.
The sun and moon and all their light.
I just want to be the only girl, you love all your life.
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home D
So glad to hear that overall things are better! Hopefully his friends & the roommate will realize that it is for his (and probably their) best interest not to bring over alcohol or drink with him. Keeping both of you in my thoughts!
Do you think the move has helped improve his mood and reduce the amount of drinking?
Kim - That's what he always claimed would happend but right off the bat it definitely didn't. Being an alcoholic he'll always have an excuse to drink so after the move, even though he always complained that before he was stressed because of the work commute, he was still stressed because there was "so much to do". Or on good days it was because he was celebrating being in the new house. It wasn't until I pointed that stuff out to him (again) that it kind of clicked with him.
At this moment in time he has absolutely NOTHING to be stressed about. I mean, I know his job is hard but he went to school to be an engineer, he kind of signed up for that. But he's not even working that long of hours right now. He's home usually by 6-630 and he doesn't leave the house until after 8. I'm hoping he's kind of realizing this now.
1380 board posts
I don't want the whole world.
The sun and moon and all their light.
I just want to be the only girl, you love all your life.
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home D
I'm really happy to hear that things are improving. Slow and steady wins the race!
He really needs to stop being "too proud" to go to AA. Once he goes and he becomes sober, he will be so much prouder than he ever has been. I promise. I know this first hand from J. It's nothing to feel shame over. And he certainly doesn't need to tell anyone that he's going (if that's part of his concern). You should definitely go with him the first few times if it will help get him there (although I think he should get used to going on his own after that).
I'm thinking of you guys all the time and I'm rooting for you!
He's definitely spending more time alone, mainly because he doesn't have anywhere else to go. I sometimes wonder if he still had that buddy's house to go to if he'd still be coming home every night. I won't complain though. I have someone to cook for which is nice. lol
I've been working like crazy to try and convince him that AA is not a bad thing. I've had a lot of experience with it because I come from a family of alcoholics and have dated a few. I've done Alateen and Alanon many times. I still think there's a chance I might be able to convince him to go. I've just got to try and get him to open up about why he's refusing to.
1380 board posts
I don't want the whole world.
The sun and moon and all their light.
I just want to be the only girl, you love all your life.
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home D
He's so lucky to have your support and love. I hope that it helps him see the situation for what it is and go to AA. In the meantime, it sounds like things have gotten better but as you said that can change quickly. Hoping for the best for you and Matt. & you might think there is a echo in here, but seriously that roommate needs to go or you and Matt need to set some stricter boundaries/house rules with him so he doesnt interrupt Matt's progress or your life together as a newlywed couple!