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May I Vent Please?
Okay, let me start by saying, in no way do I expect my husband to go to every single doctors appointment with me. With that out of the way--- hubs and I are expecting our first baby after 5 years of trying. We are stoked and so close to baby boy getting here! I was so happy that he got to come to the anatomy scan with me, because I know alot of spouses are unable to be together for things like this due to TDYs and deployment and all of the other commitments. He also got to go to my 3 hour Glucose Test with me to keep me company (it was on a down day). I was also very appreciative of not being bored out of my mind by myself for 3 hours. Some of you may remember from my intro post, we are stationed overseas and we have been here about a year and have so far been unable to go home to visit (which is not a big deal, but I am pregnant and sometimes it DOES get to me). I also have not been able to get a job here (I am a high school teacher back in the states, but there are no openings here at a DOD school).
So--- here's my vent--- only 4 people total work in my husband's shop-- one is currently taking 30 days of leave, another is the 'boss', and the other's wife is pregnant as well, about 4 weeks behind me. He has literally taken off for every appointment his wife has had, which happens to seem like alot more appointments that I have had, honestly. Which makes only 2 people in the shop- my husband and the 'boss' (who happens to be the same rank as my husband, just been here longer). I have an appointment on Friday and then my first 'internal' exam is in two weeks. I really really don't like internal exams of any kind and I wanted my husband there for moral support. He told his boss this morning he wanted to take that day off and the other guy who's wife is pregnant said, "uh, sorry dude but I need that day off already, we have an appointment." She also had an appointment today, and he's taking off this Friday as well because his wife 'needs a break' from watching their other daughter (oh yeah, they have kids already). He has seriously taken at least one day off every week for an 'appointment'. Two weeks ago, we had our labor and delivery hospital tour and it was at 530pm, the hospital is about an hour away and I asked H to get off early so he could go with me. The other guy took the day off last minute because his wife was tired, and we were 30 minutes late (only one car)... The ONLY time since 20 weeks pregnant he has asked to leave early/for a day off. UGH
If you worked in a shop with only 4 people, only 3 of which were there, and only 2 of which did the grunt work, wouldn't you at least TRY to work with people?!
I am trying my best not to be irritated, but I really needed to vent this out. Sorry 
Re: May I Vent Please?
Do they utilize an official process with leave chits or anything or how does time off normally work? Is it the boss just getting to pick and choose who needs time off more badly? I didn't quite pick that part up because in your examples it's always the other guy who steps up and says "no I need time off more".
So, I guess what I'm asking is how is each instance being decided?
I agree with Stella, who approves time off and why aren't your husband's requests being taken into consideration? Someone needs to be telling Slacky McGee "NO" from time to time. I'd be livid if someone in my husband's shop got to take day after day off work (unless there's a good reason) because his wife was tired.
My hubby went to most of my appointments, so I don't think its crazy to expect a first time dad to want to go with you from time to time.
They aren't using official leave chits (except of course the one who is gone for the next month). The boss does it on 'who tells me first' and I am pretty sure it's just that the other guy voices his opinion louder than my husband, and they have completely different work ethics- my husband is the, "if I don't do it, it won't get done" kind of person, so it is a bit his fault as well, but his boss just shrugs and says 'sorry' when an issue comes up.
Neither one of them could get leave approved right now because the one person is on leave back home.
One other thought. Do you have any close friends that you could bring with you for moral support? First couple times that I had my blood taken I almost passed out. After that I talked to one or two people about being my "back up" in case I ever need a ride or moral support when DH is unable to be there for me.
*For a physical exam I'd have my friend in the waiting room and a nurse stand in to watch.
In that case two things.
First, develop a clear understanding of your expectations for each appointment with your husband. If a particular appointment is not that important to you, then tell him the date and time and that it's not that important. If you feel very strongly that you want him there, then make that point very well known to him.
Second, for appointments that you deem high priority have him ask for permission as far in advance as he can and then after that it's up to him to defend himself against the other guy coming up with a last minute excuse.
I unfortunately don't have many friends here, and the ones I do have are all active duty and work when I have my appointments as well.
Hubs knows how important it is to me, but he is definately not the type to push any buttons at work, especially because he's aiming for a retrain right now and doesn't want to push the issue. Especially since the other guy just won't come in if he wants the day for something he has planned, and the boss won't say anything about it, but my husband will be the one who gets blamed for the work not getting done (that happened when we had our anatomy scan).
Oh well... I guess I'll just suck it up and deal with it-- at least they give him the 10 days leave after the baby comes!