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I feel like we don't know what we want in a house....
Anyone run across this? We thought we had a very solid idea of what we were looking for in a house, including location and price point. We found a lovely house, but I find myself recoiling at the thought of the commute. It's not much farther than the area we had planned to buy in. And it's about 20 minutes longer than my current commute (~about an hour each way). Maybe I'm just scared. I was scared about my current commute when we moved last year - now I'm used to it.
Dh and I talked about it. He thinks I'm over reacting, but he seemed to be a bit more understanding this morning. Now we're thinking we should look at different houses w/shorter commutes, just to see how that feels.
One thing is for sure, I'm not putting an offer on anything until I work this out...
Re: I feel like we don't know what we want in a house....
In some ways yes. I feel like I expect more out of a house if the commute is longer. Obviously that doesn't always make sense since we aren't really changing the price point. But I feel like the house has to compensate for the fact that it will take me longer to get to work. Based on that, we did decrease our radius from 45 minutes to 30, because it just wasn't making sense for us.
So your current commute is 1 hour and you're going to add 20 mins to that? Or it will be 1 hour total?
Honestly, either way, I understand your concern. Adding 20 mins is a lot. I used to have about an hour and 15 min commute. After that job I SWORE I was going to widdle it down. Over time, I did. For a couple years, I had a 20 min WALKING commute.
I'm at about 20 - 30 mins driving, and to me, this is just about my max. I have WAY too much other stuff to do in life than spend it in the car. Books on tape, "alone" time, etc - it doesn't make up for what I'm NOT getting done by being at home.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I can completely understand how you feel. I have been very fortunate to have short commutes in the past (5-10 minutes) and now that my commute is 20-30 minutes and often involves traffic, I'm use to it but I still don't like it. So when looking at houses we've decided we aren't going to look anywhere that will make my commute longer. My husband use to not really understand the big deal (he use to have a 45 minute commute and now his is about 15) but he's a teacher and commutes outside of rush hour time. The traffic just annoys me, but now that he is doing some after school stuff and leaving at 5 he's starting to understand and is on board about not looking outside our current radius.
A house would have to be stunning and a steal to get me to increase my current commute time or force me near the higher traffic areas.
The apartment we currently live in is a 15 minute commute from where H works (he is a pharma rep. so he's on the road all day anyway-so the short commute was important). However, after 3 years, we find ourselves driving 1hr20mins back home EVERY single weekend. We hate where we live. When we were looking for a house, we were certain that we wanted to move back. We close on an amazing house in our favorite neighborhood-- 1hr20mins away from where we are currently- in March, and we couldn't be happier with our decision. The quality of life is just so much better there for us, and we are tried of traveling back every weekend, we would just rather always be there. H used to live there and did the drive every day for about 2 years, so he's already used to it, but we honestly believe it is so worth it. We just got married and where we bought our first house was really important to us. We refuse to live in a place we are just not happy and don't want to be, despite the extra driving time.
Good lick!
My current commute is about 35 minutes in the morning and 45-50 at night. The new commute would be about 55 minutes in the morning and an hour+ at night. I can work from home once/week too.
I should note that about 35 minutes of the commute is sitting on a train reading the newspaper.
Very true. Thank you
My current commute is 35 minutes. Before we had kids, I found this to be no big deal. After we had kids, this is the most I'd want it to be. If I work until 5pm, it's about 6pm by the time I get home with the kids (have to pick them up from daycare, and that's right on the way home).
We are planning to move this year, and we REALLY want to find a place closer to, not further from work. In those rushed evening hours with kids, even 15-20 minutes makes a big difference. The little goes to bed by 7:30, so that means bath @ 6:45, which means if we eat dinner after 6:20 things are going to run late. That gives me 20 minutes to cook dinner if I get home at 6...you see where I am going.
I say listen to your gut. If you think that commute will be too long, it will be.
And thank you to the OP on commuting w/kids. We plan on having kids in a couple years. It would be nice to be near them in case of an emergency.
Just because you had a needs/wants list when you started hunting, doesn't mean you have to stick to it. It's GOOD to refine it, adjust it, as you are looking. It's ok to tell your realtor, yeah, we thought we wanted this but it doesn't feel right. Let's look at that instead.
If it didn't feel right, it's not right. Don't force it.
I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders! We started looking at totally different houses, closer in.
PSA - I encourage anyone going through the same thing to listen to your gut and that voice screaming in your head.
Thanks for the support!