Trouble in Paradise
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Do you get mad
if you are meeting a friend and she/he/it is late?
Does it depend on how late? 5 minutes is ok, but 15 is too much?
Oor why she is late? Like, would you not be mad if she had a meeting that ran late, but you would be mad if she stopped at a store on the way to meet you?
I agree with everything that muddled said. You should listen to her. -ESDReturns
Re: Do you get mad
Mine depends more on the person. Someone who is occassionally late is fine by me. Just call and let me know.
On the other hand, I have some friends and family members who are consistently 15 - 30 minutes late and it drives me up the wall. I've started telling those people that things are starting earlier than they really are, they tend to only be a few minutes late that way. Those people any the f out of me.
I get irritated if they are 30 mins. or more.
I am less irritated if they call & tell me they are running late.
If I am just sitting there for a prolonged period of time with no word-- then I contemplate leaving.
I'm pretty easy going about it and it generally doesn't bother me no matter what the reason. If we're talking a half hour or more late and I haven't heard from them, I would be worried something happened and would call them. It depending on the activity too. Like if we're supposed to meet for a movie or something that has a prompt start time, I'd be annoyed. If we're meeting for dinner and drinks, I don't mind hanging out w/ some wine and waiting.
The reason generally matters to me, although I end up feeling silly about it because the outcome is the same either way.
I guess it has to do with the amount of control she has? In one instance, she is just stuck and in the other, it's almost as if she is choosing to be late just because she can.
It depends. If the person is normally on time, I don't mind as much. $hit happens to the best of us. I would hope they'd call/ text unless there is a good reason they can't. And I can deal w/ anything up to 30 mins in the above situations.
But talk about my IL's (or anyone who is perpetually late) -then I lose a LOT of patience. And w/ my IL's, it's not even like you can say "4:00" knowing they'll show up at 5. They might show up at 4:30, or 5, or sometimes, they show up EARLY.
There is no consistency other than "not being on time". And I find it rude, rude, rude.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I fired a client based in part on her inability to show up on time. She would insist on meeting when we really didn't need to and then text me at exactly the time of the meeting and tell that she'd be 15 minutes late and then show up another 15 minutes after that. People who don't respect my time always seem to have a problem being billed hourly anyway, so I cut her loose while I could still fake amiability.
As for a real friend, I'd definitely come down to how late and how come, but I'm pretty easy going about that sort of thing.
I have a friend that when she is 15 minutes late already, texts that she "got caught up in things" and will be an additional HOUR late. It's infuriating. The final straw was when I sat at a restaurant by myself for an hour before she showed up. She never has an excuse other then "well, you know, I'm always late!" Not only in this instance did I end up sitting awkwardly at a table alone, but the server didn't get a second turn on his table. Her response? "oh, well you know how servers are" As a matter of fact I do - they're people who rely on turns and tips to get their paychecks.
end rant. Also, totally delurking. Hi.
I am usually either 15 minutes early or late. I strive for early, personally. I prefer to be early. However, I grew up with my Mom being 30 minutes late just about everywhere, except church, so I'm hopeful that my children will actually be on time.
However, to answer your question, I'm patient until about their 30 minutes late, and then I will generally call them, and make sure they're still coming.
When someone keeps me waiting, they are telling me that their time is more important than mine. I never have enough time so when someone flippantly wastes some of mine, I get pizzed.
Now, I'm not a complete hard asz. I do get that sometimes stuff happens that people can't control. In these situations its how the person handles it that determines my reaction. If they ignore the fact they are late, I'm mad. If they call/text/somehow let me know and apologize, no big deal.
Here in Utah we have Mormon Standard Time, everyone in a general group I'm stereotyping is habitually 15 mins late. It isn't worth the effort to get upset.
And I have to admit there are times when I haven't planned my excursions out as well as I ought to have and I find myself running late.
I'm pretty much always on time, so I expect others to give me the same courtesy.
5 mins I can understand...traffic, weather, misjudging the amount of time it takes to travel, etc can hold you up.
If you're late because you just didn't care enough to make sure you left on time, then I'm pissed.