August 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Mat leave/parental leave
I have to decide how long I want to take off for mat leave by March 1st, and I'm really, really torn. Mostly, I'm terrified that I'm going to hate being at home for more than a year (end of June '12 - September '13).
So... how long did you take off? Did you feel like you had enough time? Want to go back earlier? Later?
Re: Mat leave/parental leave
Well I haven't done this before, but I could not stay home all the time. That's just me. I'm planning on going back to work at about 8 weeks, just part time. I'm planning 5 hour days, 4 or 5 days a week.
I'll let you know how mine goes here soon!
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I'm taking off the full year. I'll be honest, I have days when I feel lonely or it feels like we're just staring at each other, but I'm making it a point now to get out and do stuff, so I'm enjoying it more.
I do love it though... I love getting to know him. I feel lucky to have this chance and I wouldn't trade this time for anything. The first few months are hard but I'm glad to be able to spend this time together now that he's more interactive.
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
I plan on taking the full year. I just went to HR the other day to set up my paperwork. I wasn't really prepared to give them a date but since I'm due on April 17th (a Tuesday) I said April 20th (the Friday) since odds of going on your due date are very slim.
The way I look at it, if the baby is going to come early, it's going to come early and nothing I can do will prepare for that so I didn't want to book off a week or 2 before the due date. If I go over and book a week or 2 off before, I would be wasting time on mat leave without baby. HR said I can change my mind in the next few months if I start to feel differently.
I stayed at home for 4 months with Preston. I had originally planned to stay home for at least a year or , but I couldn't do it. Someways I really feel bad for going back to work instead of staying home but I know he loves daycare and it has been good for both us. I think if I stayed home i would pull my hair out.
What are you afraid of hating about being at home? There's nothing to say that you have to be "at home" all the time. Ontario Early Years Centres and Parks & Rec have great programs, local libraries have story time, and if you're planning to take prenatal classes, I know a lot of the ladies in those classes start their own mommy groups (since they're all due around the same time).
The thing is, they get more fun, not to mention easier to take out, as they get older.
Idunno, I just feel like work will always be there but this time with your child only comes once, and it comes and goes so fast. I've never heard of anyone regret spending too *much* time with their child, ya know?
ETA: I hope that didn't come across condescending or judgmental and I certainly don't judge anyone who didn't take the full amount of mat leave they were offered.
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
The timing of this baby is actually perfect in my career. We are moving back to the States and I will have from the beginning of May to my due date to get settled with our house and doctor and everything else we need to do. After the baby is born I get 6 weeks mandatory leave but because of the timing, I won't actually go back to "real" work until mid-August. Luckily my "real" work for the next year is going to be school so I will only be away for about 5 hours during the day and will be done around 1 pm. I know I will miss being with the baby, but I think it will be nice to get back into a routine after a couple months. DH may stay home with the baby for that year, but we are still debating if that is something that he really wants to do.
Good luck with the decision, I think it is definitely a tough one and there is no real right or wrong answer. You have to do what you think is best for you and your family.
I'm planning on taking the full year. I was discussing with my doc at my apt on Friday about when I should start my leave and she said at 37-38 weeks, depending on how I'm feeling.
A lot of girls on our BMB talk about working right up until they go into labour, and I was thinking I'd do that too, but then I remember that they only get 6-12 weeks off. There is one girl talking about only taking 1-2 weeks off! But as I do get 50 weeks, I have a feeling that by then I will NOT want to be sitting in commuter traffic for 1-2 hours a day, let alone be able to fit easily at my desk.
I can understand your fears kaesha, but I think the things that ringy had to say are really valid. They get way more fun as they the year goes on, and there is so much to do, especially with you being in the city. I foresee little Chewy and I spending a lot of time at the (walking distance away) mall w/ an Early Years Centre and the library (and grandma's work, which is a 7 minute drive from our house).
Also, I know that as this pregnancy goes by, I'm feeling more and more maternal. I've never been a big girlie-girl/omg-I-have-to-be-a-mommy, but as he's growing and kicking and dancing up a storm in my belly I find myself really excited (and also terrified) for him to get here. I'm really looking forward to that time we'll get together, and after posting on TB w/ mostly American's, I feel really, really lucky for the time we can take. I think you getting to take those extra months will be amazing, especially considering you'll have a 1 year old through that second summer. You will have so.much.fun.
We'll just not tell H about this little fact, m'kay?
That's the thing though - most of the teachers I work with DON'T like taking the full year off. They're bored out of their minds.
Ultimately, I have a really stimulating, challenging job that I love and wouldn't change for the world. I love interacting with 100+ people everyday. It keeps me on my toes. No playgroup/walk in the park/swim class is going to replace that void of people. I guess I'm just worried (and, if I'm going to be honest with myself here, at least half-way convinced) that I'm not going to love being a SAHM as much as I love being a teacher. I've NEVER wanted to be a SAHM and now that I see it looming before me, I'm totally freaked out. I have some freedom in my choices - I can always come back early if I really hate it, or I can extend my leave if I want... so there is some flexibility in the system.
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I only got 6 weeks after each baby was born. I would have loved to be a SAHM, at least until they were in school, but we just couldn't afford it at the time.
By the way, Ciara - I love that picture of Edmund.
I think I'm totally in the minority as well. SAHM was not for me. I went absolutely nuts being home, to the point I started to wonder if I made the right decision to have kids at all. Some of my feelings were and still are lingering PPD, but I really feel like I wouldnt' enjoy my life being home with my kids. I need some grown-up time during the day. I also think that daycare does wonders for kids. They learn a lot from seeing the other kids growing and changing, not to mention the amazing schedule that daycare keeps Jackson on. Plus, when we want to change up his schedule or try something new, they're right on board with helping us out.
I have to say that on the weekends, I feel much more connected with Jackson than I would if I had seen him all week. It makes those moments we do get to spend together much more precious. Plus, he gets to go to "school" and play with his friends all day. He's never cried when I've left him there or seemed like he didn't enoy it. That may change as he understands things, but for now, I like our routine.
For your reference, I was out for about 10 or 12 weeks I think. I took mostly the time until I was cleared by the docs, and then I took 2 weeks of my vacation time. I was also induced early, but that didn't really count towards anything. I was on short-term disability for all of that. Do what feels right to you, and don't feel like it's bad to want to go back to work. The SAHM gene isn't in everyone. I see my SIL hating life, and I really think its' because she stays home. She doesn't feel accomplished, because she's not really doing anything with her college degree and using her talents to the fullest. It's difficult to watch her go through it.
No one can tell you what's right for you.
I took off about 10 weeks. I really wish I could have taken more time off but we had just bought a house and since I'm the breadwinner, we couldn't afford for me to be off longer. I really wish I could have taken at least a few more weeks off and if money hadn't been an issue, I would have.
I miss my kid even though she's with my mom. They are only small for a short time and I wish I could have spent more time with her. It's such a personal choice though and SAH isn't for everyone.
I will probably take 10-12 weeks off, depending on what our school calendar ends up looking like when it is published. I plan on going back after our state testing in October.
The other complication that I am having is that missing the beginning of the year is going to make the year tough. It will be fine, but I have a feeling that coming back partway into the year and leaving my newborn is going to mean that I am not as connected to my job next year as usual. Those first six weeks of school are so important relationship-wise with students (especially my 6th graders who are just coming into the building and getting used to the middle school) that missing them is going to be a huge difference, I think. If I could take the whole year financially, I think I would just because of the dynamic change coming in partway through the year...
BFP 5/2/11, missed m/c, D&C 6/13/11
BFP 12/8/11--Little Girl E Born 8/22/12