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Ugh. Just need to vent
So my STBXH texts me tonight, I know he's away on a business trip and is probable a little drunk. And he texts, "why?" So I say "what what?" (I should not have even engaged). And he asks how I could have given up and why it was so easy for me to leave. Are you kidding me?
Because you were writing flirtatious emails behind my back throughout the entire length of our relationship, and every time I suspected something was up you made me feel suspicious and crazy and paranoid? Because you pretty much brought your phone in the shower with you. Because in the same 24 hours you told me how you wanted to start trying for a baby you had dinner with your ex and then asked her to come you in your hotel room? Oh, and lets not forget about all the people who were talking to online about all of the blowjobs you were getting on the side, and all of the weekend trysts you were having with various men and women. And theres also that little thing about how you recently came out to your friends and family as being gay.
The response - but I didn't actually DO anything (because, since he never got caught physically cheating, he never owned up to that. His defense is that it was all a sexual fantasy world).
You know what? If you really want to sit there and tell me that those things aren't really DOING anything, and that I hurt you beyond repair and that it was too easy for me to walk away and that you don't take responsibility for the end of our relationship, then go right ahead. You are somebody else's future mess to deal with.
This isn't my problem anymore, and I am thankful for that, but right now I'm so mad that someone can be so blind to think that all of the things that he did in our relationship were no big deal. I want to shake him!!
Serenity now...
Re: Ugh. Just need to vent
I know it is hard, but try not to engage. Can you block his text messages? Anyway, this is the good part and it comes from your own post. Hang in there.
You are somebody else's future mess to deal with.
This isn't my problem anymore, and I am thankful for that,
You need to be at peace within yourself knowing that YOU know the truth. I beat my head against a wall for a long time trying to get XH to take ownership of what he did (cheating and drug use) and the most I ever got from him was vehemently denying the cheating and admitting to drug use, but saying that I should have stood by him, to help him through it. In his mind I was the one who gave up on him and our marriage and family.
And you know what, that is ok. I was at peace with my decision the second I filed for divorce and that's enough for me. Do NOT engage with your X anymore.