Trouble in Paradise
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
divorce with two small kids...tell me what it's like
We're at a point where I think that might be the only option left. We're too far gone to fix our problems (seen multiple marriage counselors in the last few years). I have two young kids, one of which I am still breastfeeding. Any one in a similar situation? Can you tell me what your experience is like? I'm wondering if I should just hang in there for a while longer until the baby is at least weaned.
Re: divorce with two small kids...tell me what it's like
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I filed for divorce when I had a two-month-old and a two-year-old. Rather, I hired a lawyer to do all the hard work of filing and paperwork for me. It was much less stressful than dealing with XH myself, at the time. In fact, other than emotional stress and the occasional digging for a piece of paperwork, I don't recall it being all that terrible, but all custody and property issues were mostly uncontested.
yeah, this confuses me too. The only thing I can think of is that if she is EBF & is worried that shared custody (after the divorce) would mean using a bottle?
Though if you are miserable in your marriage why do you keep getting pregnant?
I am not divorced & I only have one kid. Could you give us some more information?
If you're concerned about the visitation while EBF issue, check over on the Single Parents board - there is more knowledge on this issue there... I formula-fed so I wouldn't know...
Yes I am EBF so I'm wondering what shared custody will be like. We had our ups and downs over the last 10 years. Waited until we thought we were okay to have kids. Maybe thought it would even make things better, stupidly.
Unfortunately, my husband is very vindictive, things will not go uncontested. It'll be a battle all the way
What has this got to do with a baby being weaned?
My take on it: it's better to have both parents living apart and happy than having both parents staying miserable, married and together.
"Staying together for the sake of the kids" is just plain bad. Kids have a way of picking up when things are horrible between their parents, even if there's no outward fighting or animosity: kids KNOW.
You'll also have a chance at remarrying and finding a far better mate. Lots of women with young kids do it; there's lots of blended familes out there; having 2 kids that are extremely young would not exclude you from finding a better mate. There's guys who will welcome a woman with kids.
For the infant, since he/she is EBF, they may not force overnights. Some of the other moms on the Single Parents board can tell you better than I can. STBXH moved out when DS was a month old, but at that point my supply dropped and we were bottle feeding a mix of breat milk and formula.
I have only one child and he is almost 6 months old. It is not easy, but I am happier. And DS is thriving. We are doing shared parenting and a 4/3 split.
I am on the Single Parents board on the Bump and the ladies there have a wealth of information. Start getting your ducks in a row now.
Don't quote me on this, but it was my understanding the courts give favorable terms to breastfeeding mothers because that is the sole food source for the infant, at least for a while. I do not believe the courts can mandate giving a child formula or pumping. So, I believe that situation will absolutely have an impact on an arrangement. However, you'd need a divorce attorney to be able to tell you if that's the case in your state or not.
My husband's ex-wife was court ordered to pump so he could have over night visitations with her. She filed for a no fault divorce the week after their daughter was born. The judge didn't want her to use breastfeeding as an excuse to keep my H's daughter from him.
I filed for divorce when my twins were 3 months old. It was far easier by myself, than with a crappy husband (ahem, third child).
Divorce with two small children? Half the money. Half the time. No help At.All. Ever.