Trouble in Paradise
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Can you help me?
I posted on Family Matters a while ago, but I really don't know what to do. I'm worried for my sister. She's definitely on a "rough patch".
http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/62721433.aspx
Re: Can you help me?
So there are 12 replies about a cat that is sick, but I can't get any advice about my sister? Thats low.
And it's lunch time for a lot of people!
Give people time to read and respond.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I understand you are concerned and want to help your sister, but you just posted this thread. It is lunchtime around here and most people are probably away from their desks. Please be patient.
Patience is a virtue. This is a message board, not a 1-800 number.
On that note, if you're worried about your sister, call a suicide prevention hotline. They can provide more resources than some random Internet strangers can.
If your sister is talking suicide then it is time to talk about in patient treatment for her. She may feel betrayed and what not when the hammer comes down, but she is in a place that she can't get out of by herself.
You mention she has kids? Did she recently give birth? Have a history of depression? Talk to her husband about getting her some help. She doesn't have to go voluntarily if there is enough evidence to prove that she may be a danger to herself or anyone else. I don't normally jump on the "commit the person" train, but since she has children it could get ugly.
I completely understand your concern (my ex-BF killed himself, and my brother has been committed twice) and I've been there. You have to work with her family, husband and if necessary law enforcement. You CAN call them to do a welfare check and if they feel she is serious they can help you get her to the right place.
Good luck. I know its frightening to see someone spiraling downward and feel powerless.
Change your title. If I had seen the word "suicide" it would have caught my attention more readily. I know you are scared but don't flip out on us.
Call and tell them. If they can't help her through you, at least you will feel better knowing you tried and maybe they can help you get through to her to get herself help.
Does she have a plan? This would be the first thing they would ask you. It can often indicate how immediate/serious the risk is. If you don't know, ask her.
She just keeps saying that she wants to disapear. She doesn't want to hurt anyone, but she doesn't want to hurt anymore. She is convinced that everyone would be better off without her.
How does she plan to disappear? Specifically.
She doesn't know.
That's actually a good sign. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't take her seriously, but it does mean that there is probably not an immediate threat. A therapy appt once a month is definitely not enough. Is she on any medications or anti-depressants?
She is lucky to have people like you looking out for her.
I've said before and I'll say again...having a 'paper trail' is incredibly valuable.
So if you do call (and I think you should), even if that doesn't spur help this time, it can be helpful NEXT time--showing a history can be key to making sure someone gets help.
Does her therapist know how bad she is?
There's always the opton of calling the therapist, saying you know he/she can't discuss your sister w/ you, but you need to give him information she may not be sharing.
Personally, at this point, I WOULD call the police.
Thank you for your help. She quit her meds about a year ago. Her son is almost two and she was on anti-depressents for a few month, but they gave her nightmares. She wasn't going to her therapist then, she started in October.
She's starting to sound better. I'm a little peeved that her husband went to work today and left her alone.
Call a crisis line. It is worth her being "mad" at you if it saves her. Here is a national number.
1 800 784 2433. Keep us posted please.
ETA: I am glad she is doing better. Keep that number for future reference. I hope your sister gets back to counseling and back on meds.
Honestly I wouldn't stop persuing this because she is starting to sound better. You still need to get professional help for her should she take a turn for the worse and quickly.
Call a crisis hotline. She needs help and she's not getting it herself.
not to scare you but 'sound better' is pretty subjective...and it's not unusual for someone to 'sound better' because they're no longer worried about what they're going to do--because they've made up their mind how and when to act.
Don't let it go because of sounding better.
This is what I meant by my post but didn't want to say.
OP, sounding better is not better. This is not going to get better in a day.
This is true.
Agree. People often stop talking about suicide once they have made the decision to act upon the self harm.