Starting Over
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Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Those of you who have no children (singles)
I saw a few of you in the "anxiety" post below, and I was just wondering how many of us there are here that do not have boyfriends right now who also have no children yet.
How old are you? Are you afraid of the possibility of never having the opportunity to have children?
I'll be 34 in a few weeks, and yes, I'm very scared that I'm not going to have the chance. I never wanted to have children past the age of 35, and it's not looking likely unless someone swoops in and sweeps me off my feet and wants kids immediately.
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Re: Those of you who have no children (singles)
I'm 27 but I'm not worried. I know I'll find someone great to spend my life with and raise a family. Holy optimism--where did this come from?!
I am 25 ... just ended with my husband yesterday (ugh).
Yes there is anxiety that what if I dont meet anyone again .... what if I dont end up having the chance for kids ... what if what if
I keep trying to remind myself it gets better and I'm still young and there's still hope. Just as there is for all of you!! I also wouldn't be opposed to adoption if it ever came to that. I used to work as a foster care social worker and I've seen many of these kids and the heartache they go through themselves. Ya know if I'm 40 and still no chance I'd probably adopt.
I am almost 27 and am slightly worried about this. I just ended it with my BF this week when I realized I couldn't marry him. I felt so much pressure from family and friends that he be "the one" so that I could get married and start reproducing. Don't get me wrong, I WANT to be married again someday and have kids, but he wasn't the right one for me and I REFUSE to compromise on something that big.
I always thought I would have my first kid at 28, or at least by 30. That "time table" is not dead yet, but I want to be single for a while, so we will see.
Bottom line, is if I am not married or in a relationship with someone by the time I am 35, I am going to adopt.
I'm 35 and before I separated from H, I was on board to having a baby. After about six month of trying, doing everything to make sure we hit the right day, nothing happened. So I had gone to the doctor and after a series of tests, they found out that I'm unable to have children without the help of drugs. So that caused a ton of conflicts since H is a very religious person and is against the use of drugs to get pregnant. That was the straw that broke the camels back as to why I left, among other things, and in hindsight, I dodged a bullet and I'm glad that I never brought a child into this world with him.
I think about having kids on a daily basis and even through women have children late in life, I've always said that I didn't want to be an older parent. Considering the way things are now, and I'm not dating and hell, I haven't even started the divorce proceedings yet, I have a feeling that children, naturally, will never happen for me. It has been pretty hard accepting that possibility in my life.
I've always been open to the idea of adoption but I just don't think that it's going to happen either. It makes me very sad...
32.
We have been spearated for a little less than 1 month but yeah I am freaked.
I mean to add above that I'm OK with being an older parent. I was never one of hte people who "had to have kids by XXX age", though XH was (always an issue between us). Though I'm open to adoption, I don't want to do it without having a partner and I don't wanto to choose to raise a child alone by choice, either. So, I realize that I may not have kids.
As for the age thing, I may consider freezing my eggs at some point in time as I would like the opportunity to have kids if I do happen to meet someone later on but time isn't on our side.
I'll be 32 next week - the fear that I might never have kids if I divorced is why I hung on to my marriage for so long. Sad but true. It's what I mourned the most when I went through the divorce. I couldn't have cared less about him, LOL. To ease my mind, I researched single adoptions and sperm banks. It made me feel better to know I had a game plan.
I still hear that ticking clock even though I'm in a relationship. I'm still fearful about it, most especially because I had a m/c while with my XH. Still, I'm making a conscious effort not to rush things. I'm more worried about doing things right than doing things fast.
I was in your place at 34, 35, 36 and finally at 37 I met my H. I am turning 40 this year and we are going to TTC in the next few months. We will see if it still works or not. Adoption is always an option if it doesn't. My sister just got pregnant 7 weeks ago and she is 38.
There was another option that I had considered after 35 but decided was too expensive for me and that was to freeze my eggs.
I have a completely irrational fear of never being able to have children. That said, I'm 25 and being a mom has never been a goal in my life. My mom had me when she was almost 39 and I've never felt deprived having older parents.
I know I want children someday, but someday seems to be perpetually 10 years out from where I am. I'm not sure if I'll ever have children, but I still have this crazy fear that I won't be able to if I ever want them. It's completely ridiculous. That said, I really feel for people who want children and are unable to have them. I can only imagine how painful that process must be.