Starting Over
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
So, when did you start dating?
I know it's been asked a million times before, but I can't remember what everyone said.
I'm not ready to date quite yet, but I'm excited thinking about dating. I'm 29 and xh and I had been together since I was 16, so I'm excited to see what it's like to date as an adult.
The day I left was just my beginning.
Re: So, when did you start dating?
XFI and I were together for 3 years. I started casually dating 3 months after we broke up, and started dating BF about 6 months after XFI and I had broken up. It was fast, but XFI and I had been drifting apart for 6 months or more before the breakup, so I think that helped me "get over it" more quickly.
I left in June after a year and half of marriage and almost 3 years together and got divorced in September. I went out on a few dates in the fall but wasn't ready. I'm casually dating someone now but I'm not ready for a relationship.
I'm giving myself a timeline of at least a year post divorce before I date for real. Until then I'm just having fun getting to know new people and get out of the house. My marriage was very isolating and my therapist encouraged casually dating so that I can get over the anxiety of getting out and doing things again.
This is what I'd like to do- date very casually and just have fun hanging out and meeting new people.
H and I have only been separated a little over 2 months, but I had been thinking about it for about 6 months prior to that.
I almost left XH 8 months before I actually left. The first things I thought of were, "What will people think of me?" and "Hmm, I wonder if so-and-so is still single!"
For those who have checked out of their marriages (v. those whose X's left of cheated on them) it is often easier to move on. It's a personal decision. Casually dating doesn't work for everyone. I'm very self aware and realize that for me, it's ok to spend time with people even if they're not people I would marry because I'm enjoying meeting new people and getting out and having fun--this is something that was terribly lacking in my marriage (getting out, not making friends with men!). For some people, they don't want to waste time with someone they're not compatible with.
I have discussed this with my therapist though and she is quick to make me think about how I feel along the way.
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
Yeah, I had my bags packed in May and then I let h talk me into staying. I'm going to discuss with my therapist next week and see what she thinks. And even if I go out on one date, I don't have to keep dating if I feel like it was too soon.
We separated in March. Divorce final in September. Starting kind of dating-ish in December. Really started dating in January (current BF).
I waited a little over 4 years after our divorce .I really enjoyed being single.
I did have a FWB in between there though.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
We separated in April 2010. I would go out to bars and flirt with guys and had a couple flings, but nothing serious at all.
Divorce was finalized in August 2010 and the day after I made an online dating profile. I wasn't looking for anything serious - I didn't date much during my college years and I wanted to just get out and have fun. I went out on dates with a couple of different guys in between August and October.
I met current BF in October 2010 and due to his schedule we only went out twice the first month we dated. While it drove me nuts at the time, looking back I think it was a good thing because it forced us to take things more slowly. I was still in a care-free mindset and really wasn't looking for anything serious, but we fit so well together that it turned into a relationship.
I will say that I almost left XH in November/December 2009, but he convinced me that we should see a therapist (after I'd already tried to get him to go twice before). While the therapist helped me make the final decision that the marriage wasn't working, my head was pretty much out the door at the start of 2010. Which I think is why I felt ready to get back out there so soon after separating/divorcing.
I went on a few dates very shortly after my marraige ended...but wasn't ready for a relationship. I just started actually getting back out there this past fall, a year after my divorce was final. But I really wouldn't consider myself even "dating" so...I guess it's now been a year and a half? I'm not really in a rush...
I've been separated for 8 months (divorce is almost final) and I have been considering dating for a month now. I am not doing anything right now but if the opportunity comes, I will take it. I am also 29 with no kids. I have been with several guys before and I am very excited to date other guys now.
ETA: XH is the one who left the marriage.
my casual thing turned into my current SO.
I don't see the harm in getting out there to have fun. Hold off longer for the serious stuff. But if it happens, it happens
This happened to me too. BF and I started talking around 4 months post-divorce- he was in school at night and unemployed. I work full time and played sports 3-4 nights a week, so we spent a lot of time talking and being friends- we didn't meet in person for a few months. Once we met and hung out a few times we decided to become exclusive and that was 1.5 years ago.
It's been almost a year since I've been separated, and I just a couple weeks ago called it official with my bf.
ETA: I've been legally divorced since just before Christmas.