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BR: Question for Everyone *Updated*
Hate to post and run, but I have to take B to the Dr. I will explain this when I get back (possibly make a clicky poll), but I am dying to get the collective "June 08" opinion on this matter.
Is it ever okay for a baby/child to shower with the same gender parent? Until what age?
Is it ever okay for a baby/child to shower with the opposite gender parent? Until what age?
ETA: Thanks for the replies. This was sparked by a conversation I had with a practical stranger (somebody at a Mommy group) that kind of surprised me. I will start by saying that I shower with Benjamin. DH doesn't feel comfortable bc he says B gets too slippery/is hard to hold. The only tub we have is HUGE (essentially a 2 person tub) and I can't bath him in it unless I get in with him....easier to shower with him IMHO. I will stop showering with him around 2 or 3......depends on when he asks questions.
So this random person went off. Essentially said it was child abuse to have my 9 month old son (the one who is still nursing) shower with me and see me naked. Like really ranting and raving about how showering with a child is immoral and its things like this that are wrong with society. I was just wondering if I was off my rocker or if she was.
Re: BR: Question for Everyone *Updated*
I shower with Alex. It's the only way I can get her clean right now, and that's with her kicking and screaming until she's in the water, then she calms down. I'll stop when I can't fit us both in there, or she chooses another way of getting clean.
H doesn't even like the girls see him in his boxers. For me, I guess I wouldn't have a problem until he was 2, then Daddy would have to go with him.
I still take baths with Charlie, although recently I started wearing a bathing suit. Although the suit is not so much for modesty, since I am BF Miles my boobies were leaky.
I know it doesn't make sense... but I feel more ok about mommies bathing with children until they are a bit older than I do with daddies. I guess that men penises around children freaks me out a little?
I think it's okay for babies/children to shower with same gender and opposite gender parent(s). I would say until about the age of 3, in my opinion and from my experience.
I have at some point showered with each child, when they aren't feeling well and I can't get away even for a few minutes to get a shower. Lily (7) hasn't showered with DH or I in years, since about the age of 3. Logan (2) and Lincoln (1) still shower with me, but very rarely. Lily would freak out if I asked her to hop in the shower with DH, as would he. The boys love getting in the shower with either of us every chance they get, although they do love their playful tubby time more!
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When my dad wasn't home it was like a nudist colony when we were getting ready between me, my mom, and my sister. I don't really know what my same sex answer would be.
I think it's ok for a child to shower with the opposite gender. I figure we would both stop when the questions start popping up.
I have to agree with PP that penises around little ones freak me out a little, but if its a little boy I see less of a problem. I have no problem with moms showering with either, but only when little. Once the questions start, its probably time to stop.
Ryan has been in the shower/tub with both of us in the past. If he is awake when I shower in the mornings he often will come into the bathroom to watch me shower and get ready. Don't really have a problem with it right now. Stop when he starts asking questions - maybe 3?
I guess my answer would be the same for same sex and opposite sex parent/child.
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Opposite gender- 3
Same gender 4/5 depending on "maturity ( I can't think of another word but their ability to understand)" level.
I also agree with pps that its different for mommies vs daddies but I think it depends on who is the "primary" caregiver.
IMO penis are harder to explain than lack thereof.
Boys also have a natural gravitational/ evolutionary pull toward boobs.
If necessary at this point I would just put on a swimsuit with LO, but I can see that being an issue ( he'll want his too). However for the most part, LO has been bathing himself for about a year now. He is pretty good about bathing by himself and.
Also a good point for the opposite sex may be when they start exhibiting modesty. I started getting a "cose ur eyes Cia, I'm naked", when LO was about 4 and if I wasn't helping/wiping him.
I can see her point here...
I think she is the one who is off her rocker. Showering with your child is what is wrong with society? I'll give you drugs, violence, greed, but showers? She lost me on that one...
I would be inclined to think its the opposite. Showering with your young children is another opportunity to hold them close and bond. Doesn't that help in prevention of society's ills, a strong family unit?
I shower with Natalie from time to time, especially if I definitely need one/ am going somewhere and we are time-crunched. DH has never showered with her, nor do I think he ever would. Men's parts are just out and proud and obnoxiously obvious... I remember accidentally seeing a penis when I was 3 and it scared the living hell out of me, so no reason to do that on purpose IMO.
I have no clue how DH would feel about showering with his son, but he might be ok with it.
I sorta think once they get to 2 1/2, 3 years old that it should probably stop. I'm not crazy about my kids having memories of it, even though it's not wrong IMO.
As far as showering with me, it has happened from time to time but not often, and I am fine with it. The boy sees me naked a lot, however, I will admit that it is starting to get weird for me. Showering I think is on it's way out, but getting dressed/undressed I'll still do, probably until he is almost school age (4).
Neena Mae. 1/7/10
"A baby nursing at a mother's breast is an undeniable affirmation of our rootedness in nature." - David Suzuki