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OH FFS MIL! (Vent, Long)
So I kind of want to punch my MIL right now.
After a long hard battle with a terminal illness, my grandmother finally passed away. I think we all knew it was coming, but it was still really hard. Now we have a huge family on that side, so my Grandfather made the decision that only he, their children, and their spouses would go to the funeral, Grandma didn't like big crowds. Well of course, I and the other cousins/relations weren't exactly thrilled by the decision, but we respected it, Grandpa calls the shots in this situation. We'll go down in shifts later to help Grandpa, I'll be going down in Late Feb-Early March with the baby to help out and make food to put in his freezer for example so he's not just eating sandwiches and TV dinners.
Well my MIL went to the pharmacy my mother works at and one of the techs told her that my mom wasn't there because her mother died when my MIL asked for her, which the tech should not have done. Well MIL calls the prepaid we have for her and leaves a message asking when we'll be there and to make sure we make time to see her, because she's just as important as anything else going on.
I'm sorry; no she's not. My grandmother just passed, the last thing I'd need is to deal with her massive amounts of crazy. I know she claims she wants to see her grandchild, but that's just such an insensitive jerkish thing to say in my opinion. Especially after all the stupid crap she did over the holidays where she made herself look like a selfish ass every single time we saw her. Every time she said she wanted to see the baby it was really that she wanted to tell us how we don't help her enough. She held DD maybe twice, and she handed her back after about a minute, so forgive me if I don't think she just wants to see DD like she says. DH thinks she wants to get me alone to try and get me on her side, so we'll start helping her pay bills again, which I agree with. It wouldn't be the first time she's tried it.
So my DH calls her back a day later and tells her we aren't going down right now, and that my Grandfather didn't want everyone there right now. He said that I and the baby might go down at some point later. She repeated that I had to make time to see her whenever that was.
Again, no I do not. I'm not going down as a pleasure trip, I'm going down to try and help my grandfather after loosing his spouse of nearly 60 years! My DH told her that the world did not revolve around her and that this trip would not work out for us to visit. She's been leaving us messages on the prepaid about how she's just as important as my grandfather is, and that I have to see her, and that there is no way I can go down and not see her. Really, because the way I see it, to not see her all I have to do is not tell her I'm there. Also, I fail to see how she's as important as my grandfather right now.
I know she's selfish and immature, but really this is just too much for me right now.
I'm not really looking for advice, I just needed to vent a bit. I know she's crazy and nothing we do will make her less crazy. I know we should cut her out completely instead of just giving her the limited contact that we do, it's just a matter of us actually doing it. So thanks for letting me vent.
Re: OH FFS MIL! (Vent, Long)
I would not see her at all. When you go, don't tell her. You take care of your grandfather. If she asks when you are coming just say that you aren't sure. Your MIL sounds like a PITA.
All of this. Your MIL is being a turd.
This! Your DH sounds like a keeper. I am sorry about the loss of your grandmother. I guess your MIL can't even manage to send condolences.