International Nesties
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Introduction & Question

Hello! My name is Lissa, I'm from Maryland and currently living with my FI in the UK. We're both students, we came here because I'm studying towards being an art conservator and there are very few schools in the US for that. We will be getting married in August, which is where my question comes in: did any of you plan your wedding from abroad? Are there any pitfalls I should watch out for? So far communication has been tricky but email makes that a lot easier.

 

I'm really glad the ladies on TK pointed this board out or I would never have found it! I will be hanging out here more, definitely.

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Re: Introduction & Question

  • Welcome!  

    I am an American living in London with my English H.  We were just married last May in Philadelphia.  

    I decided what I wanted from here, yay internet, then my mom did most things.  My parents did visit about 20 photogs as my family is really into photog, they picked her for me.  

    I had a long engagement, we had to push back the wedding a year after we both lost our jobs.  So I went home a few times before the wedding.  We both saw the venue a few times, including set up for a wedding.  We also met with the DJ the Dec before the wedding, we found him via the Philadelphia knot.

    The Philadelphia knot was my life line, I really counted on their recs.  

    I had my makeup trial the week before my wedding, I saw the flowers when I was home for my shower. I didn't get to DIY as much I wanted.  

    You will have to let a lot of things go, you just can't have as much control as local girls.  The sooner you accept that the better, I think it will be a better wedding for that fact as no wedding will be happen exactly as planned.  Ours went really well with people flying in from the UK and all.  

    The volcano went off again and we were worried, but it all worked out.  

     

    Also I had a DOC and really recommend getting one, she kept everything in line day of, fixed several problems, calmed down my mom etc. 

     

    Pre English Reception Pictures at H's High School
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  • Can't help you on the wedding front but welcome.  Eat a maple pecan plait from Tesco for me.  Yummyummyummy.
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  • Hi! We're Americans finishing up our overseas time. Moving back in a few months. ::sniff, sniff:: Currently in Bahrain and were in Italy before that.

    I did part of our wedding planning distance but still in the States. There were two things that I found easier to not deal with.

    - Let the bridesmaids pick their own dress/shoes. I sent them swatches of the color realm I wanted the dress to be in. Sent them guidelines on what to look for (wanted them all long, no cocktail dresses or tea-length dresses) but pretty much emphasized they find something that fit the wedding colors, fit them and looked good, and fit the wedding dress code of formal. Every dress was different but they all did fine picking their own. There was no pressure on me to pick something that would have looked good on all of them (which was so not going to happen with their varying body shapes) and there was no pressure on them to find/pay for a dress they didn't like. One girl even made her own.

    - Let the florist do their thing. I told them my budget. I told them how many and types of boquets, how many and types of buttoniers/corsages were needed. Decided on two arrangements that were low and flowed out a bit that specifically were to flank the alter at the wedding and then get moved to the head table at the reception (low to not block the view on the table). I also ordered one bunch of flowers for the baker to use on the cake, one red rose to represent a deceased relative, and one yellow rose to represent our numerous military friends who could not attend. Had vases for each. Beyond that I sent the florist a picture of my dress. The embroidery detail was what set our wedding colors. I told them to just go with it, that I had picked them for their reputation. They did a fabulous job. Couldn't tell you all the different flowers that were in my boquet, if they were fancy or not, but everything was beautiful, they didn't go over my budget, and I was happy.

    - My only other piece of advice is to hold your wedding day time precious. You don't need to do a family brunch, don't need to give directions to the venue, don't need to let extra people come see you getting ready, don't need to be answering your cell phone, and generally don't need any other distractions. You do need to get adequate sleep, be on time for appointments, get ready, take photos, march down the aisle, eat, and enjoy yourself. You can visit with people on different days but you only get one wedding day with DH-to-be. I held my time precious and had a great day. DH was the opposite, was not left alone for a second, and was exhausted. He had a great day because we got married, but he wishes he'd done things differently.

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  • Hello :)

    I'm an American, married to an Englishman, living in the UK with our two half-breed children. I'm from Maryland as well (suburban DC) and got married there (while living in Wales). We live near Newcastle now. Whereabouts are you, in London? I know there is a programme in art and museum conservatorship in Newcastle...

    I planned mine from abroad, but it was small, and 6 years ago nearly, so the details are a bit fuzzy now. I think my biggest advice would be to enlist your family and friends in Maryland and use them as much as you feel comfortable with. :)

    Where are you getting married?

    Mum to W (4) and M (nearly 2)
  • I lived in the UAE while planning my wedding which was in Boston. The best advice I can give you is plan a couple of trips home of a week or so each if at all possible. I got a LOT done on my trip home about 8 months before the wedding. We booked the venue, I chose a dress, we ordered the flowers, and picked out bridesmaid dresses. Those things would have been hard to do from abroad. Invitations were easy to do from a distance and so was choosing the design of the cake and the centerpieces and ordering the favors (just had stuff sent to my parents' place). 

    Good luck! 

  • Hi and welcome!

    I planned our Vegas wedding from Vancouver and it was easy peasy. I reckon that even planning somewhere not nearly as user friendly as Vegas would be pretty easy as long as you're not too Type-A about it.

    Good luck!

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  • Hi and welcome! I did a lot of my wedding planning from Germany, but the major things (venue, florist, dress, photographer) I picked out a year in advance when I was home for quite a while and had the time to do it. The rest I was able to do via family and friends. As others have said - if you're a control freak then you're going to have to try to get over that fast, but in the end it doesn't make a big difference (I thought) - the wedding isn't about how the favors look or whether the cake tastes exactly like you imagined from the description.
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  • I did most of my wedding planning long distance. For me it was easiest to just put a lot of it in my SIL-to-be's hands. We were getting married on her farm anyway. She was eager and willing and I trusted her. Took a lot a stress off of me and I'm quite happy with how it turned out.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic IN July 2011 Siggy Challenge - What I miss most: Panera Cinnamon Crunch Bagel!
  •  The DOC is a good idea, I'll look into that.

     Rita - I will look for a plait for you. They sound delicious!

     Welshgirl - We're in London, I'm in UCL's program. I know of the Northumbria program, but I don't know anyone in it. We'll be getting married in Ellicott City, it's about 10 miles west of Baltimore.

    Thanks for the advice, all. I'm definitely trying to be laid back about this, I think that will help most.

     

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  • Hi!  I am a Canadian living in Macau (China) and I planned my wedding from here for a wedding back in Canada. We had 125 guests over half of which were from out of town.  Actually only one member of the bridal party was local!

    The first thing I decided was to make it as simple as possible. I researched venues online that had the most all-inclusive options. I sent countless emails back and forth with specific questions. I then asked my parents to preview the venues and send photos along with their impressions.  The venue I selected was all-inclusive but I had full say over meal type, decor, etc.  Any part of the package could be swapped out if I wanted something different.  I liked having his option but also liked that it was all sorted for me as well and I had a specific contact person. I ended up using the venue recommended vendors to great results!

    As far as decor/flowers/cake, I sent the florist and cake decorator specifics of what I wanted and they sent me photos of options that they thought I was describing. I then selected from there.  Photographer was easy, as he had a large gallery online and I could preview his images. We were only in town 5 days before the wedding. During those days, I met with the photographer, the minister and the florist just to confirm details/running order for the day.

    My husband and I each had our own wedding attire.  We asked the bridesmaids to find their own dresses in a particular colour (they ended up going shopping together and sent me photos of ones that they liked/fit well and let me do the final selection) We rented the groomsmen's suits.

    I realized early on in the planning stages that I was going to have to be relaxed for the whole process. If my centerpieces weren't exactly what I had in mind, it wasn't going to ruin the day.  The focus of the day was getting married to my wonderful husband.  Everything else was bonus!  It turned out beautifully and I doubt I would have changed anything, had I planned locally.  Just relax and enjoy your planning! 

  • imagelissadelsol:

    Thanks for the advice, all. I'm definitely trying to be laid back about this, I think that will help most.

     

    Welcome to the board!

    I planned my wedding in Canada when we were living in Vietnam. My parents were a great help and I did most with them and the vendors through email. 

    You gave yourself the best advice - no matter what, you're going to have a blast on your wedding day, if you keep it as stress-free as possible and don't worry about the little details, it will be amazing.

     

  • imagelissadelsol:

     Welshgirl - We're in London, I'm in UCL's program. I know of the Northumbria program, but I don't know anyone in it. We'll be getting married in Ellicott City, it's about 10 miles west of Baltimore.


    My sister got married at Savage Mill, so pretty near.

    Good luck with things! :)

    Mum to W (4) and M (nearly 2)
  • imagewelshgirl:
    imagelissadelsol:

     Welshgirl - We're in London, I'm in UCL's program. I know of the Northumbria program, but I don't know anyone in it. We'll be getting married in Ellicott City, it's about 10 miles west of Baltimore.


    My sister got married at Savage Mill, so pretty near.

    Good luck with things! :)

     

    The Great Room? That's our reception venue! The church is in EC (which is my hometown).  Small world!

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  • Just wanted to say welcome to the board! DH and I are Americans living in Edinburgh. We got married before we moved overseas, but I think the best advice when wedding planning in general is just not to get stressed about the little details as much as possible. I also had my bridesmaids just pick black dresses that they liked which took a ton of stress out.

    Good luck!

    TTC #1 since Aug 2010 * BFP Aug 2011, EDD April 16 2012 * MMC @ 7w5d, D&C @ 10w5d
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  • imagelissadelsol:
    imagewelshgirl:
    imagelissadelsol:

     Welshgirl - We're in London, I'm in UCL's program. I know of the Northumbria program, but I don't know anyone in it. We'll be getting married in Ellicott City, it's about 10 miles west of Baltimore.


    My sister got married at Savage Mill, so pretty near.

    Good luck with things! :)

    Yes - one and the same! She got married outsideon the decking - in July, which was insane! But the Great Room was really a nice venue. :)

    The Great Room? That's our reception venue! The church is in EC (which is my hometown).  Small world!

    Mum to W (4) and M (nearly 2)
  • Oof, that sounds insanely warm. We're doing everything indoors (August).

    Also, I grabbed a maple-pecan plait at Tesco, Rita. You are in fact wise, it was freaking delicious. I think I've found my new on-the-go breakfast...

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  • Hello and welcome! 

    ***Sorry, I just realized this is ridiculously long and incredibly disjointed... I just started typing what I remember***

    DH and I planned our U.S. wedding from Guatemala (where he was living/working) and the Dominican Republic (where I was living/working) in about six months.  My parents were super open to helping (and paying) that I didn't go back to the U.S. at all during our engagement, although I was in the U.S. when we got engaged, so I had about 2 weeks to find a dress and make some major decisions (I guess these included the date, the dress, bridal party, and colors--we went and picked up paint samples from a home improvement store so that all three countries were working from the same palate)!

    My suggestion, and it looks like you're already on board with this, is to be as relaxed or realistic as you can be.  If we hadn't had the support of my parents (and sister--I'll give credit where credit is due) I definitely would have hired some kind of wedding coordinator to help, but as we wanted small and simple, this worked really well for us.  Plus, my parents LOVE planning parties--this was right up their alley.  DH and I wanted a small, simple wedding, so we got married in my parents' backyard in Iowa (it's amazingly beautiful).  We invited our families/closest friends for the ceremony and then had a little bit wider population for the reception (friends from high school/college/life that we're still in contact with).  Originally we were going to host the reception in the lawn as well, but we ended up renting a space at the nearby country club, which was actually much more convenient as it has it's own chef/waitstaff, bar, dance floor, tables, dishware, etc. (All the stuff we would have had to rent if we did it in the backyard...)

    DH came to visit me in the DR about a month into our engagement and we decided to design our own invites and programs (we wanted bilingual since his parents and brother came), we talked about readings/readers, asked a friend to interpret the service and decided what would be in English and what would be in Spanish, we came up with a playlist for the ceremony (I left DH in charge of making a playlist, instead of a DJ... we just knew that we wanted salsa/merengue music, not what a local DJ would provide), plus we registered for a bunch of stuff online--which made it feel more like we were planning/making decisions together, since besides the basics we'd given up a lot of control/expectations that it would be exactly what we'd imagined.  (Not saying this in a bad way--we just knew that we have different tastes than my family and we were willing to accept that if we had been there planning it ourselves it would have been different, not better or worse, just our style.)

    Most everything though was planned via Skype (when I had electricity!).  DH and I had looked through readings, etc. while he was visiting but made most of the decisions once he had gone back to Guate.  My sister found a dress while I was ordering mine, so we let my other bridesmaid pick one from the same designer/in the same color that fit her/she liked.  The men all just wore black suits and DH and I bought matching ties and shirts for everyone when I got back to the U.S.  DH flew to the US about a month before the wedding as that was what was suggested for visa issues, I came back 12 days before the wedding and spent those helping my mom finish making programs, getting my dress fitted (another perk to being from a small town), doing a trial run of the hair, and making/designing centerpieces (something I wanted to do--I figured this was the easiest way to give the reception a taste of our style).  It was a fantastic day and as perfect as I could have dreamed, even while being on the planning margins of my own wedding!

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