Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
RTS?Ideas to cope?
So, apparently, I have rape traumatic syndrome. Because I waited two years to confront the fact that I was raped, it's all coming in huge, horrible waves. I'm in counseling, and talking to a few friends, but mainly want to try to battle this out on my own.
I'm frustrated because before I confronted this rape, I was fine. I was doing well at work, settling into my life here. Now? My anxiety paralyzes me, it's difficult to concentrate, and last night I got scared to death because of a noise in my house.
I'm not sharing much of this with S, because quite frankly, what the hell can he do about it?
All of that to say, any coping tips?
Re: RTS?Ideas to cope?
Although not the same, after the fallout of my marriage, it raised a lot of issues regarding childhood abuse that I thought were in the past. Anxiety also became a part of my life as well as loss of concentration and short term memory loss.
My therapist (a godsend) told me I needed to let myself be sad and upset about it. He said I couldn't move forward if I didn't. Grief is like waves and he said imagine standing in front of the breaking wave and saying, "I can beat you on my own!" Odds are, the wave wins...every time. After a while your body will hurt and your determination wanes, and the grief with overtake you whether you like it or not. But if you accept that you can't battle with the breaking wave and swim into the grief (accepting it), when the waves comes, then are a gentle up and down. You get stronger treading through the lulls, not by battling the breaking waves.
I think you need reconsider "battling it out on your own." What is the point of this? Support is a beautiful thing. Embrace it. All my professors know what I've gone through and have been amazing and supportive. My friends, my beautiful friends, are awesome. I honestly feel better after I spill my fears out to someone than sitting alone in my room with the silence and rush of thoughts building in my mind.
I think if you see S as long term, he needs to know. You might think you can do this completely on your own, and maybe you can, but if something triggers you and you break down, don't you want S to know what's going on so he can comfort you?
Let people be there for you. Life is hard enough. No need to battle it completely independent of support.
Good luck. Sorry for the book!
This.
I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this, but I agree with PP, don't push people away that want or would be willing to help you.