Starting Over
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Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
"You can always adopt!"
Those of you who answered my single and childless poll below, do you ever hear this?
I must admit, it irks me to no end.
I always want to reply, "So you're going to give me $20k to get a baby? And then $1k a month to pay for daycare on top of that? Great! Thanks!"
I know you can always adopt older kids through the foster system without paying all that, but adoption for me isn't a valid option. I'm single and making under $35k a year. I can barely support myself at times, let alone another mouth to feed. If I had a partner, adoption would be a more likely scenario, but not alone.
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Re: &quot;You can always adopt!&quot;
People are incredibly insensitive!
Honestly, the one that bugs me the most is: "Thank God you didn't have kids together!" While this observation seems really obvious, I feel like it invalidates some of my emotions of loss over the whole thing. Stupid or not, I really really wanted to have children, and I tried for 2 long years to have children with my ex-husband. If we'd had children together it would certainly have complicated things, but I think I'd be thrilled to be a mother regardless of the end result.
I don't want kids, and never have. I have come to terms with my decision and feel confident in it being the best decision for me. I know that if I get into another serious relationship, that person will need to also feel comfortable with the idea of never having children.
I get the following responses from people when I tell them that I don't want kids and all of them are equally irritating:
"Oh, just wait for the right man."
"You're young (I'm 28) and you have plenty of time."
"You owe it to the gene pool."
"I used to think I didn't want kids, either, but then I had my son/daughter and everything changed." (while I don't doubt this...I don't want to go through that sort of trial and error possibility)
"You're just upset about your divorce."
Grrrr.
I hear ya. Basically, my intention is not to raise my child alone. I mean, obviously, marriages break up and people sometimes end up single parenting--which many of you girls are doing fabulously on here! But, going into a pregnancy alone (like sperm donor) just would be sad for me......doctor's appointments, etc. I just don't want it to happen that way.If it breaks up later, then I'd cross that bridge when I came to it.....
I am a teacher and am surrounded by tons of kids everyday and I really feel like I touch a lot of lives, so if I were to grow older with no children, I guess that was the way it was supposed to happen.
My problem w/ that comment is that most people say that with the implication that your breakup has hurt/will hurt less for that reason.
This, this, this. I get "You're still young, you'll change your mind." No, I won't, but thanks for invalidating my feelings.