Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What would you love to tell the other woman?
I know, I know. It is not healthy and I would never really do it. But there is so often that I want to send an email to the woman my ex left me for. Sometimes I want to tell her she is a home wrecker or that she should be ashamed of herself (side note: I'm not sure I really believe either of those things. I'm just angry.) Sometimes, I want to let her know that she is hitching her wagon to a crazy man. I want to tell her about the time he punched a hole in the wall or gave away our dog.
I've gone so far as to write these e-mails in Word, with no intention of sending them. I don't even save them. But it helps me to write it all down.
So what would you love to tell the other woman about your ex?
Re: What would you love to tell the other woman?
That pretty much covers it.
There are too many to count. Most of what I wanted to say was said when everything spilled out.
Now my XH's wife, now that is a different story. I kinda feel bad that she is caught up in his lies. She is so young, just turned 21 and he's 29. On the other hand, when he has a gf or someone in his life, he is out of my hair. Since they are married, it's a permanent fix for keeping him gone.
I have only sent a message to one woman. I had dated a guy for almost 2 years. When I ended the relationship he jumped right into another. He proposed to her after a month of being together which made me laugh so hard. No biggie for me. Then he started sending me texts and emails tell me he missed me, wanted to be back together, one more time of "making love", blah blah blah. I told him I was not interested and asked him to stop or I would tell his girlfriend. He did not stop. So, I sent her a message with the messages he had sent me and said I would be willing to show her my phone. The next day I get a text from him saying he was in the process of moving out because she was not right for him. Then I got a response from her saying she packed his sh!t (yes they were living together after 2 nights) and kicked him out.
I have thought so often that I wish I knew what really happened between a guy I was dating and his ex. It seems as though behavior repeats its self. I do understand that there are two sides to every story. I get that. Warning labels would nice.
Part of me wants to be really passive agressive and say that I hope they're really happy together, that she'll enjoy getting to know the ER personnel in our town the way I did. Say things like, "I recommend stocking up on mederma and gauze". "Glad you think you can be different from his last 2 wives, so he doesnt want to crush your facial bones".
But then part of me really wants to convey the betrayal that you feel, the complete mess that she shared in causing - she had absolutely nothing to lose, no regard for my little family, just having fun with the man I was married to. I still can't put that into words that someone who hasnt been there can understand though, so I stick to drawing pictures of her being run down by unicorns, etc, in MS Paint
In my case there are/were multiple women. I would just like to ask what makes them think they are so damn special that he won't lie to, and cheat on, them. He cheated on me multiple times, he lied to me for our entire marriage, he abandoned his kids. What makes them think they can change a man like that? And why would they want a someone like that? Now that I know the truth, there's not enough money, love, or security in the world to make me want him back!
I doubt any of them know he has a wife and kids, though.
I really just want to point and laugh.
I had to find out the hard way what kind of person XH is, and so can she.
What I really want to tell her is that she is trash. She knew my ex-h was married (they worked as Police Officers together) seeing as how the affair started before he and I were engaged and continued off and on until the day he told me he wanted a divorce...where he then proceeded to move in with her before I was even moved out. Anyways, I want her to know that I know about the affair and that she is a homewrecker but that I don't blame her entirely because it takes two people.
I personally think that it makes a difference in the situation when the OW knows that the ex-h is married. If the OW in my situation hadn't known he was married, I wouldn't be so harsh to her and instead would feel bad for her that she bought into his deception. But, since she did know, my thoughts are totally different.
This exactly!
Bwahaha. Yeah. This.
My ex told so many lies at the end of our marriage, that I have no idea what he told her. I think she had to know I was still in the picture, because she called his cell when we were in the hospital with me having a miscarriage. But knowing him, he made up some story about how "we were going to split, but then I got pregnant and so we were going to try and make things work, but then I lost the baby so it is over." All the while he was telling me, "Yes, let's try again. I know we are having problems. Let's work through them together. I love you. I would never leave you. Blah blah blah." Since I don't know what he said to her about the status of our relationship, I don't know what I'd say. I think saying nothing is best.
And I actually have to interact with this whore, because she is living with my ex and interacts with my ds on a regular basis. Fun for me. I have never had to use the acting skills I learned as a theatre major more than I do when I have to play nice with the mistress.