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Opinions Please
Ok I finally took my counselor and fellow nesties advice that I need to be single especially with getting ready to move back out on my own. I need this time to work on those issues from my marriage that I never truly dealt with given the amount of people living with me.
Here is the problem. I finally broke it off with Z for good. Once again he brought up the ring. I asked for a right-hand ring for Christmas and asked for it as just that. Not a promise ring, not an engagement ring but a right hand ring. He said he feels buying a ring of any sort means to him a life long commitment with intentions of marriage. I explained that a right hand ring was no different than the watch or cuff links I bought him for Christmas. What do you think? Should I give it back? Keep it since it was asked for as just a gift?
Re: Opinions Please
Technically, it's yours to keep since it was a gift. I even think you're in the clear ethically/morally if you decide to keep it. With that said, I'd just give it back to him to get rid of him. You don't need a reminder of him, and you certainly don't need to give him any excuse to keep contacting you.
*nods* I'm with Hooly.
We're talking $400 tops. To give it back would probably mean having to face him in person. I couldn't bring myself to do it in person because he'll make me feel guilty and I'm not strong enough to stand my ground with something like that which led me to try to work things out before.
Not as bad as the other comment he made. I explained that I need to be single so I can truly work through my issues. He knows I'm in counseling and that I have dealt with depression. He through in a low blow saying "If you ever get your mind right, you are welcome to find me. I doubt you ever will".
Achase and I are agreeing a lot these days!
And, OP, I'm glad that you decided that breaking things off with Z was the best thing for you. I know you've struggled with this decision, and I'm so proud of you that you're doing what's best in the long-run, instead of doing what's easiest in the moment.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I agree. And BTW, I am so proud of you for standing your ground! Call him, break it off and send it back via mail if he so much as mutters a word about it.
I agree with achase. Maybe mail it back. You can pay $10 for insurance when you mail it. Might be worth it not to see him again. He sounds like an idiot.
Send it back with return receipt. Make him sign for it. You have prove he got it.
Glad to hear you're going to work on yourself first and foremost.
*nods*
Does this make me "holier than thou"?
What a ***!!!! OMG well at least now you don't have to worry about missing him or wanting to get back together.
Haha! It's nice up here on these horses, isn't it?
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Starburst speaks the truth, esp all that bolded stuff.
I also like what another poster suggested about mailing it, insured, so you don't have to see him and he has to sign for it. But I think it would be "good for you" to face him and not let him manipulate you. You want to break up with him. That's not his decision to make.