So today we all had individual meetings with our administrators to discuss "Committment and Capacity." It was like an informal performance review. I wasn't really too nervous going in so I felt a bit caught off guard by some of the criticism/suggestions. I keep going back and forth between being upset and pissed because most of it seemed more about my committment/dedication rather than my actual ability.
I work for a charter school so our school day is 7:40, kids come in at 7:50 until 4 but the last bus isn't usually called until 4:15 or later. We're still working without a contract and due to the lovely governor of NJ, I make less this year than last and made less last year than the first year there.
I rarely leave before 5 and still am doing work at home most days. I also try to attend fundraisers and extracurriculars when I can but haven't as much this year as in the past because I'm too damn tired. Yet, the principal (who is new this year) has questions about my committment to the building of the school community or some BS.
She pointed out she can't judge previous performance and understands that a lot of the concerns/questions may be because I'm not 100% due to pregnancy. Like my tone of voice when my kids are being hellions in the hallway.
But in the next breath she was nitpicking some silly stuff. She thinks I could use help with organization but the example she gave was the way my word wall is set up, which I don't know maybe she could've mentioned in the 4 months since my evaluation.
I hate to use the pregnancy card but maybe my room isn't all neat and tidy because I have to be able to access all the stuff I need without climbing, lifting, etc. Or maybe I'd be able to show more creativity if everything didn't have to come out of my own pocket.
But the thing that bothered me the most was when she brought up how I handled myself after the kid had the seizure in my room. By the time she got there, the nurse and other boss and another teacher were there and I had held it together, walked out, lost it, and then got called back in because they wanted the kid's contact info. So I got criticized for letting the kids see me upset and possibly adding to them being scared. Yeah, I wish they hadn't seen me upset but I made sure there was another adult in charge before I lost composure. Although she did commend me for not taking her up on the offer to go home afterwards and for explaining to the kids that because I'm having a baby, I get emotional (and cry at commercials).
I just feel like crap because I bust my butt and really care about my kids and I feel like it's not getting noticed or appreciated. And while I don't know what others heard in their meetings, I feel like there are people who put in the bare minimum but use lots of bells and whistles to make what they do look flashy and get a lot of credit. They have their keys in their hand waiting in the hall with their kids for the last bus or for the boss to say she'll watch them but they make a nice bulletin board so it's okay.
Ugh, I need a mental health day. If you actually got this far, I commend your committment and thanks for listening.
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She actually said that some of the problems might be because you are pg? Is that legal?
She sounds ridiculous. I'm sorry.
That sounds really sucky. Is there a comment area in this "review" where you can address your concerns?
I'm sorry.
This. I'm sorry your review was so frustrating, I agree that nothing in a performance review should be a surprise. The issues should have been addressed before (not that it sounds like there are any serious issues with your work).
Yeah I guess she was trying to make me feel better because she understands I might be tired, stressed, emotional, have appointments that prevent me from going to after-school activities etc. But instead of making me feel better, it made me worried about how things are going to be next year when I'm even more sleep deprived and rushing home after work so Bob can get ready for work.
I was really liking this new boss but now I don't know what to think.
I'm also kicking myself for when I had my chance to speak not asking her to clarify a few things like what kind of creative things she'd like to see or how I can work more with my team since I thought my team and I worked really well together.
I was considering asking for clarification and suggestions in an email because the thought of having to sit through another meeting makes me all anxious.
Baby Boxer is coming! 5.23.12
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day late and a dollar short on the union rep email!
i'm sorry your meeting didn't go how you expected it to. it feels like crap to be blindsided with something like that. boo!