October 2010 Weddings
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I need to vent

I hate life...seriously.  I try to live my daily life based on the saying that 'everything happens for a reason' but man, if I don't start finding out these reasons soon I'm about to throw in the towel.  Life has been nothing but hard for Jason and I the last couple of years but I finally thought we were catching a break.  He recently landed a new job that paid well and I have a job that I love, and then bam, last night after only being at this new job for 2 weeks he got a call from the job saying he 'just wasn't the right fit for the company' and he got let go.  I literally felt like crumbling to the floor.  He left his old job because he was only getting part time hours but at least it was somewhat of a paycheck, and now we're back to just my check which wont cover all of our bills.  I'm just so tired of trying to always look on the bright side of things and keep my chin up, or any of those other cliche expressions.  Just once would I like something to go right for us.  I know he feels like crap about the situation so I am trying not to let him know just how upset I am but it's hard to keep it hidden.  We had actually started talking about trying to have a baby and I made a doctors appointment for Feb 22nd to talk to my doctor about it but now I don't even want to go because even thinking about trying to have a baby while Jason doesn't have a job is just plain stupid.  I know this may all sound a bit dramatic and for all we know he could start applying to jobs and get offered a wonderful job within the next few weeks, but I'm just burnt out on trying to think positive.  I can't even let myself break down and cry because when I cry I get migraines and I don't want a migraine because that certainly wont help anything...life.sucks.big.time. 

I apologize if this sounds like a 'woe is me' post; I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, I just needed to get my thoughts out there.

image

TTC since March 2012 w/irregular and anovulatory cycles.  
Moved to an RE October 2013  HSG- All clear , S/A- Normal , Bloodwork -Normal
Uterine polyp found-  Hysteroscopy and D&C 12/6/13  DX w/complex endometrial hyperplasia
Endometrial Biopsy 3/21/14 - Hyperplasia still present  Endometrial Biopsy #2 6/24/14 - All clear!
IUI #1  w/stims and trigger - Started stims 7/7/14 - IUI 7/24/14 = BFP 8/7/14
Beta #1 8/8 - 47  Beta#2 -137  Beta#3 - 96 Beta#4 -287 Beta#5 -519 Beta#6 121 = early miscarriage 5w4d
Nestie Besties with Nfp147 

Re: I need to vent

  • Oh Xan, so sorry to hear that!  I really hope he finds something soon!
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    TTC Since January 2011 - We have bad sperm 
    February 2013: IUI #1 = BFN 
    October 2013: We made the decision to stop TTC and live without children.

    Nestie Besties with Xan921 
  • I'm sorry Xan.  I will keep you in my thoughts.  Hope things get better soon.
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  • Xan,I think you have every right to "woe is you." That must be really stressful, and I really feel for you! Just remember that you and him are good people, and it will eventually come around. Sometimes we have to say F you life and try again. It blows but thats how it goes I guess.:(

     A baby?! How exciting! I would go to the Dr. appt anyways just to get all the information about it. My retired boss told me "You will be dead if you wait until you are financially perfect to have a baby." lol. Not saying go have one now, but just to think about in the future. :)

    Anniversary
  • Thanks ladies, I appreciate it.  He's called a few places today to inquire about jobs, so hopefully it's only a matter of time.
    image

    TTC since March 2012 w/irregular and anovulatory cycles.  
    Moved to an RE October 2013  HSG- All clear , S/A- Normal , Bloodwork -Normal
    Uterine polyp found-  Hysteroscopy and D&C 12/6/13  DX w/complex endometrial hyperplasia
    Endometrial Biopsy 3/21/14 - Hyperplasia still present  Endometrial Biopsy #2 6/24/14 - All clear!
    IUI #1  w/stims and trigger - Started stims 7/7/14 - IUI 7/24/14 = BFP 8/7/14
    Beta #1 8/8 - 47  Beta#2 -137  Beta#3 - 96 Beta#4 -287 Beta#5 -519 Beta#6 121 = early miscarriage 5w4d
    Nestie Besties with Nfp147 
  • imagedriftingangel26:

    Xan,I think you have every right to "woe is you." That must be really stressful, and I really feel for you! Just remember that you and him are good people, and it will eventually come around. Sometimes we have to say F you life and try again. It blows but thats how it goes I guess.:(

     A baby?! How exciting! I would go to the Dr. appt anyways just to get all the information about it. My retired boss told me "You will be dead if you wait until you are financially perfect to have a baby." lol. Not saying go have one now, but just to think about in the future. :)

    Thanks, what you said was really sweet.

    A baby is a possibility.  For the longest time neither of us were sure we even wanted kids, but over the last 6 months or so we've been thinking about it more and more and realize we would eventually like to have a baby.  There are some fertility issues that we have to deal with, so we've been talking about getting the ball rolling a bit just to see what exactly we're up against.  If we're going to have a baby I'd like to be pregnant by the time I'm 30, I'll be 28 in September, so we've figured it'd be better to start looking into it/trying now rather than wait because who knows how long it'll take for me to get pregnant or if I ever even can.

    I do think I'll keep my appointment because you are right, you'll never feel 100% ready for a baby, so I might as well just go and get some info.

    image

    TTC since March 2012 w/irregular and anovulatory cycles.  
    Moved to an RE October 2013  HSG- All clear , S/A- Normal , Bloodwork -Normal
    Uterine polyp found-  Hysteroscopy and D&C 12/6/13  DX w/complex endometrial hyperplasia
    Endometrial Biopsy 3/21/14 - Hyperplasia still present  Endometrial Biopsy #2 6/24/14 - All clear!
    IUI #1  w/stims and trigger - Started stims 7/7/14 - IUI 7/24/14 = BFP 8/7/14
    Beta #1 8/8 - 47  Beta#2 -137  Beta#3 - 96 Beta#4 -287 Beta#5 -519 Beta#6 121 = early miscarriage 5w4d
    Nestie Besties with Nfp147 
  • aww Xan. I'm so sorry to hear about jason and his job. and i agree with driftingangel might as well check out what the dr has to say. no time like the present! and if you wait til your "financially ready" to have a baby you'll never have one (advice i got from my MIL) lol hope all work out for you guys, got my fingers crossed he finds a good job very soon! you guys are in my T & P  know there is much love for you two here! if we can help in anyway let us know! 

    imageAnniversary
  • ugh I'm sorry. hang in there, it will get better.

    Life is tough sometimes - DH and I have been dealing with a lot of transition since we got married, which is like, a year and a 1/2 at this point (moving in together. him moving when he got a job, living apart for 4 months, me moving to where he was once i got a new job, moving into an apartment together, and now dealing with the process of building a house and moving again). Didn't mean to rant on about me but I was just trying to explain I totally understand how you feel about wanting to catch a break.

    A lot of times I hear people say that the first year of marriage is the best and I just want to smack them. Ours has been a lot of stress, as it sounds like yours has as well. 

  • imagebecca474:

    ugh I'm sorry. hang in there, it will get better.

    Life is tough sometimes - DH and I have been dealing with a lot of transition since we got married, which is like, a year and a 1/2 at this point (moving in together. him moving when he got a job, living apart for 4 months, me moving to where he was once i got a new job, moving into an apartment together, and now dealing with the process of building a house and moving again). Didn't mean to rant on about me but I was just trying to explain I totally understand how you feel about wanting to catch a break.

    A lot of times I hear people say that the first year of marriage is the best and I just want to smack them. Ours has been a lot of stress, as it sounds like yours has as well. 

     

    Rant away; it's nice to know that I'm not alone in feeling 'blah.'  Not that it's a good thing that you and your DH have been having a rough time, but ya know what I mean.  I hope things start to go smoothly for both you and I.

    First year of marriage the best...lol oh gosh I sure hope that's not true.  I've always heard that the first year or marriage is the hardest, which I hope is true because if it gets much worse I'm going to need to be medicated or something lol.  Our relationship is fine but apparently the universe just doesn't want us to be able to enjoy life at all. 

    image

    TTC since March 2012 w/irregular and anovulatory cycles.  
    Moved to an RE October 2013  HSG- All clear , S/A- Normal , Bloodwork -Normal
    Uterine polyp found-  Hysteroscopy and D&C 12/6/13  DX w/complex endometrial hyperplasia
    Endometrial Biopsy 3/21/14 - Hyperplasia still present  Endometrial Biopsy #2 6/24/14 - All clear!
    IUI #1  w/stims and trigger - Started stims 7/7/14 - IUI 7/24/14 = BFP 8/7/14
    Beta #1 8/8 - 47  Beta#2 -137  Beta#3 - 96 Beta#4 -287 Beta#5 -519 Beta#6 121 = early miscarriage 5w4d
    Nestie Besties with Nfp147 
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