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Is this weird?- I'm too close to tell
So, I talked to my XH (we?ve been apart for more than a decade) for about an hour the other night. XSIL had FBed me saying that since she and her partner broke up and she moved back home she was trying to reconnect with old friends. She and I caught up on the phone and she eventually put me on speaker so that I could talk to XH who lives with her, too. It was so nice catching up- I got to tell him that our dog is still alive, that my dad is retired and living in a cabin in the woods and how the rest of my family is doing. He filled me in on the loss of his grandfather, the fact that his mom is a Twihard and that he's been clean and sober for almost a decade.
Since then XSIL have talked about getting together to hang out- of course, I'll run into XH, too. It seems kind of natural to me- we're both in a good place, we get along fine, the biggest issue in our marriage was the substance abuse that was a result of him not being honest about who he really is. The only thing that comes to mind when I think about potential issues of us communicating again is how our mates would feel about it. J seems okay with the whole thing- he pretty much despises XH but doesn't have any insecurity about our relationship or anything. I do know that one of XH?s BFs was very insecure about the fact that he?d been married to a girl but he?s not with him anymore.
So, does it seem weird to form a new friendship with my XH? Are there issues that could come up that I'm totally missing? I'd appreciate your comments because it has been a lot to process in my own mind.
Re: Is this weird?- I'm too close to tell
I don't think it's weird. You obviously found something to like about him in order to marry him in the first place, so being friends isn't out of the question.
I would just tread lightly and keep checking in with YH to see how he feels about you seeing him.
For what it's worth, my mom is super close friends with her first husband and it's never been an issue. They just make better friends than spouses.
This is what I was just telling my friend- I wish XH and I would have just stayed best friends and never explored the unhealthy mutually obsessed side of our relationship.
An American Girl's Travels
I agree with GLW. As long as your SO's have no problem with it, you're good.
I don't think it's weird either. I agree with GLW that you were able to see good qualities in each other before, and I think it shows that you've both moved on and you're at good points in your lives. As long as your H is ok with it then I think it's fine.
Not weird. Tread lightly, but not weird. My ex and I are friends now. We just weren't compatible as husband and wife, but we make good friends.
Actually, he's a strange adult, so I can't even see what I saw in him, but he's generally a good guy.
I'm glad your ex is in a better place with life
It sounds like you and XH are in a place where you can be friendly without it being weird.
Why does your H despise him? Would he be ok with you hanging out with the ex?
This, word for word. Glad you have found a happy place with your ex.
Sorry for the late response! J and XH knew each other the entire time we were married and got along okay. But the way things went down when we broke up really upset J- XH terrorized me for a year, wouldn't sign the papers, threw me down the stairs, spilled used cat litter allover my apartment, trashed the car of someone who was visiting me, etc. J just isn't as forgiving as I am. BUT when really annoys him is the fact that we get calls at our home from bill collectors looking for XH and calling me by XH's name- that drives him crazy!
An American Girl's Travels