Starting Over
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Let's talk about sex
So last night was date two and sparks flew. We had a cozy little make out session, which jump started my libido again. I was never really that into having sex with stalker guy, and have only felt those tingly feelings once in the last 4 years. So my body is up and raring to go with or without me.
We're making dinner at his place tomorrow night, and I'll be tested greatly. My body and my heart say go for it if it feels good, my brain says are you effing crazy youve only been out with him twice.
So... WWYD?
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Re: Let's talk about sex
This. But if you really like him maybe wait it out. I've attempted to c*ck block myself by not shaving before...it didn't work though
ETA: I changed my answer. No sex but I would consider other stuff...maybe. If things are good i really wouldn't jump into bed tomorrow.
I would wait, but that is me. Cozy make out sessions can be a lot of fun - not that I have had one in a long time
It's tough to fight through those feelings, but I think it would be even tougher to fight through the "did I do the right thing for me" feelings the day after.
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
Personally I would wait. I love the hot and heavy make-out sessions! I am not saying you need to be a nun, but the 3rd date is not a time when I am emotionally ready to go there. I know some women are not as emotional about sex as I am though.
My style is to wait until I know for sure that he is not sleeping with anyone else. I don't need the GF label, just don't want it to be completely casual. That is just me.
This. I would probably not wait
I'm with becca on this one... but that's just my style. Whatever you do just make sure you're comfortable with it!
To quote the remarkably wise Carrie Fisher, "Instant gratification takes too long."
I'm in the same boat as Carrots and Starryfish. I'd likely not wait. Waiting's not my thing. If you feel ready and you're into it, why not? If you have reservations, though, hold off. Either way, you'll be fine. But definitely bring a condom as an insurance policy.
And MCC's right. The no-shaving thing always backfires!
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I would DEFINITELY wait! I would remember a time when I did put out and didn't hear from him in the time-frame that I had planned, and how used I felt in that moment, and do everything to ensure it doesn't happen again! Think of how you would feel the next day if he didn't call. Don't do it yet, there isn't enough ground established yet!!
Good luck!
Yup, pack some protection. I don't usually have any hard and fast rules (no pun intended) about the appropriate length of time to "make someone wait". If it feels right, go for it, I say!
Disclaimer: there are certain situations where I wouldn't just throw caution to the wind and sleep with someone fairly soon. Mainly when they are acting only semi-interested, and seem to be only after one thing, and one thing only. I, however, don't get that message about your situation, based on what you posted.
I find this method of delaying gratification more than a little troubling....
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Whether you decide to have sex should not be based on if they will call you or not after the fact. It should be based on if you are ready and want to. Plenty of men never call you back even if sex never happened.
I would go with want you feel. Or tell him you if it gets hot and heavy that you would like to but don't want to rush into it if that is how you feel. I do see any problem starting your conversations about sex early. You can find out if you will be compatible. You don't want someone you can not talk to about openly about sex. Just my 2 cents.
I agree with this. As much as I KNOW I would want to.. if you're serious about getting to know him and starting a true "relationship" - then hold out!! And yep holding out is def 1/2 the fun. You'll both then want it even more and it will mean a lot more.
Why is what she said troubling? She is saying there were times she felt used afterwards, so now she waits. That's a good thing that she knows what she can handle and what she can't.. nothing bad about that.
meh. I don't know if waiting is all it's cracked up to be. I waited two month with my ex and look how horribly that failed. I got dumped for his younger coworker three years later.
Sorry, I'm so jaded now...but as I recall it was a good feeling all the anticipation and building up. So I guess my vote is hold out for at least a few more weeks.
Because I don't think it's healthy to intentionally relive something awful as a means of controlling impulses. I also don't think it's healthy to intentionally bring baggage from a failed encounter into a promising one. And because I try to avoid ideology that's steeped in sex-negative culture and terminology.
Her statement was far different from, "I've been burned before, so now I try to hold off a bit."
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.