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NSOR: Mutual friend "defriended" me

I have a group of close friends from high school.  We've known each other for 15 years.  One girl in this group recently has distanced herself from me - just me.  It started over the summer.  I have no idea why.  She started by not inviting me to get-togethers with the other girls, then not answering my texts or other messages, not wanting to include me in pictures at events like weddings and such, and then I noticed last night that she defriended me on facebook.  My other friends in the group all say that this friend has not mentioned anything to them about it - whether or not I did anything to offend her.  I tried to call her to talk, but no luck there.  I'm really hurt by this.  I don't know what to do.

At first I thought it was the divorce, but two of our friends are also going through a divorce and she is perfectly fine with them.   

Re: NSOR: Mutual friend "defriended" me

  • Honestly, you need to put this "friend" behind you.   She's been sending signals for a while that she is not interested in you, so move on, make new friends or strengthen your bonds with people who really do love and care about you.  

    I would not call her to ask if you have offended her or ask other friends about her.  Don't give her that much power over your life.   Block her from facebook so you can't read her updates on your mutual friends walls.

    Yes, you may be hurting, but a real friend would not do this.  They would tell you if you did something wrong.  It could be that she has always been jealous of you, or maybe she wants to date your ex - who knows? 

    Unless she is the "leader" in the group who arranges everything, just go with the flow.  No, you won't be invited to gtgs that she arranges, but go to everything else when the other girls invite you.  Don't let her have the power to make you decline invites to hang with your mutual friends.  And don't "be the bigger person" and invite her into your life (activities you arrange).  She wants distance - give it to her and use your time and energy for people who love and care about you.

    PS: ((HUGS))  I know this is hard, but you do need to move on.

     

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
  • Ditto. And start planning GTGs with all the other friends without including her, and she'll get the point that you don't care about her anymore either. Don't let her get you down. There are so many reasons why people do this, and she probably just doesn't want the uncomfortableness of telling you why she's not interested in your friendship anymore.
  • Sorry this is happening.  Don't blame yourself, you have no idea where she is coming from. 

    Ditto the pp's.  It's time for you to move on.  She seems to have been downright rude to you (keeping you out of pics) and that she has been planning this for a long time.  Block her on FB and don't torture yourself by asking your mutual friends about her. 

    Spend your time with the friends and family who love and care about you.

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