Starting Over
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Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Non Clicky Poll: How are YOU going Onward & Upward?
Month one of 2012 is already in the books. A month ago we were all sharing our new year's resolutions and for most of us, those went out the window long ago. But I think everyone has something that is better now than it was a month ago, even if it's miniscule, sometimes you just need to stop and recognize it.
How have you gone onward and upward so far in 2012?
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Re: Non Clicky Poll: How are YOU going Onward & Upward?
I'm two weeks away from completing my Bachelor's degree.
I received awesome feedback/reviews for my 2011 performance at work.
FF's XW messaged me on FB re: our engagement and I had to use every.single.ounce of willpower to not reply to her message. There were so many things I would love to say to her, but I refuse to give her any kind of reaction. Onward and upward!
I have a couple of things:
1. I am currently in training to learn a new computer system, so within the next few weeks I will be working from home. I'm excited about this opportunity even though I will need to be a little more strict about my time.
2. One of my best friends told me the other day that when she and her husband were facing some serious issues I was her "rock". I didn't think I did anything special, but what I did meant a lot to her. She was one of my rocks during my divorce and I am so blessed to have her in my life.
3. One of my other friends is going through a break-up right now and I feel like I can really offer a solid shoulder to cry on and some good advice because of my divorce and all that I went through with that. I'm glad I can use my experience to help her out and am also very blessed to have such clarity these days.
1. I have not only decided the course of direction of my career, clinical research, but have made one contact in the 48 hours since vocalizing this to my father. I have also realized that though it will take some hard work, but work I enjoy - time to get the medical review back out for editing and hopefully publishing.
2. I finished my fall novel of "The Historian," and have started reading my next novel "Under the Tuscan Sun." I was never a big reader.
3. I have started to wake up with a great feeling this week about my life overall and it has everything to do with me - not any outside influences!
I have been pretty successful in January with my weight loss goals... until my birthday party where I went crazy with eating and drinking. However today I am back on track... ran 5K this am and going to crossfit tonight.
I haven't been good with my saving money goals but I did take two really fun trips (beach trip and trip to Ayers Rock/Australian outback) and bought a new dress that is super cute.
My work approved my extension of my Australian assignment!
I have been texting lots with my old friend that is located in Sydney! He is coming down to visit in a few weeks and then I have to go up there for work a week later...l am excited to see where this could lead!
1.) I broke it off with Z and now going to spend the next several months working on myself and my issues
2.) I failed the second College Algebra course last term and had to continue in to the next 8 weeks of classes to finish it. Luckily when it flows in to the next 8 weeks I just pick up where I left off instead of starting all over. When I gave myself space away from Z, I focused like I had never focused before and got a 100 on my unit test that I struggled in before.
3.) Finally moving back out on my own. I'm gaining some independence back and really excited about this transition yet a little nervous.
I stood up for myself in some shittty dating situations and was very proud of that.
I went out of my comfort zone and joined a volleyball league even though I suck. I've made some girlfriends there but haven't had time to go because of the bar exam
I imposed a timeline on myself for a relationship. I want to wait a year from when I left XH. Don't know if I will stick to it but it makes me feel more comfortable and keep people off my back with trying to set me up or pressure me to go on jdate (mom!)
I decided I'm getting a dog when I move out in a few months!
These are awesome you guys!
I've done some soul searching and decided that I am perfectly happy being single right now. I'm not at a point where I want to search out a SO in any way, but am also not going to reject anything that may come my way just by chance. One of those love will find you when you're not searching for it sort of attitudes.
Although I work my azz off at work right now at the tune of 65 hours each week, along with raising a toddler on my own full time with no family near, life has never been easier mentally, emotionally, or financially. I am so proud of what I've accomplished and what I can provide for my son.
Even in my incredibly sleep deprived state, I love 2012 so far.
-Accepting the fact that XH is going to have more time with P and being ok with that. I've learned to let go a little and realize that he truly does love his child and is trying to be a good father.
-Going for my CFP in July. it would have been REALLY easy to just give up but that's not how I roll. I'm going to keep at this thing until I nail it!
-Focusing on my career and becoming a coach to others at work
-Really trusting my gut and being honest in all dating situations
-Accepting the fact that it might take longer for me to meet someone special because my standards are so high, but being ok with that, and knowing what I really deserve
Well, first, my relapse: I unblocked XH on Facebook and checked out all his pictures. I know that was wrong and did nothing but depress the heck out of me. Waiting the mandatory 48 hours to re-block was the longest period in my life!
I have been working hard in 2012 to grow my home-based business and I'm excited about some things that are coming out of that.
I'm also grateful for my steady, non-drama filled relationship with SO. He's been the best thing for me!
Sounds like for the most part we are all doing pretty well!
Somethings have been good for me, others haven't really caught much of my attention.
Weight loss/getting back into shape, I've actually been doing well on. I've been tracking all my food on myfitnesspal for the last couple of weeks as well as exercising (even rejoined the gym) and I lost 5 pounds in January! I'm extremely motivated right now about it, so I'm using that motivation for all its worth right now.
Friends...I've been so busy at work - hence my stay as a lurker here more often - that I haven't had the time to work on my friendships any more than just responding to things. I really want to become more of an initiator, but its hard!
Money...well, I just can't get motivated to cut back, although I did manage to save just about all of my bonus I received in January. Maybe I need to make those goals more defined so I have milestones rather than save money...
Over the holidays I really went into a dark place over my divorce - I don't know what triggered it exactly, but I was having a really rough time. I am really proud of the strives I've taken since the beginning of the year, I've given myself grace and have used good boundaries with my ex - I'm really starting to feel like my self again.
Also, at the beginning of January I started my year long "happiness project" (it's basically like a string of New Years Resolutions) and am plugging away at each of my goals one month at a time. So far so good! I am taking a watercolors painting class that I'm really enjoying, not sure what my "try something new and fulfilling" is going to be for February yet, we'll see...
This post is awesome!
-BF and I made a 2012 bucket list and had a lot of fun coming up with stuff we want to do, see & accomplish in this year
-I made myself a calendar and put a little gold star on each day I make it to the gym. I feel good & have a lot more energy since starting to exercise regularly!
- I will be debt free (cc debt...I still have 1 student loan) next month! The debt I had was 100% from XH, he transferred a cc balance to a card in my name, so paying it off will be so refreshing!
Me-I am really proud that I broke it off (finally) with XBF. I knew for a long while that it needed to end and I am proud I did it and didn't go back to him after. Last night was my first night in MONTHS home alone (my sister lives with me, but worked last night). I ENJOYED it SOO much. I decided i NEED "me time" and I can't get that with my sister there (but she works enough evening shifts that it shouldn't be a problem).
Money-I sucked on this in 2011. I should be on track for May with being CC free.
Body/Weight-Since leaving XBF, i have continues my weight loss goal (it plateaued when I was with him). I am excited to be losing again! Only 18 more pounds to go and only 10 until I am in the normal range for my height!
Running-My passion for this has picked up. I am running three 1/2 marathons in 30 days!!!!!!!
Friends-I am picking this back up again too. I need to carve out more time to hang out with them.
Dating-I really wanted to be single for a while, but a new guy kinda just happened. I think he could be really good for me. I just need to take it slow and make sure I still have lots of "me time" bc I gave that up in my last relationship and can NOT give it up again.
My two new year's resolutions was to floss more and be more positive...
I've actually failed at both so far!
Alright, so I'm back in the saddle with the flossing thing and I actually had a good breakthrough this weekend and I think I've left some ghosts behind so I can continue on the being positive thing.
I realized I was afraid to let myself be happy, so I'm focusing on letting go (which can be really hard) and being happy, I have full control over my attitude so why not make it a happy one?!
I can also be really hard on myself so I'm learning to give myself lovingkindness first and foremost.
My friend did say something really nice to me yesterday about how I should start a blog or something because I give really good advice, I try to practice what I preach and if I make a mistake I learn from it and move on. It was really nice to hear!
I'm back in regular therapy and reading lots of books to keep me on my path.
I'm seeing a nutritionist who has me on a boat load of natural supplements and although I take about 40 different pills daily, I am feeling better and have been diligent.
I de-friended all ties to the ex from fb. (this was the hardest)
I signed up for a 10k and I'm starting to run again.
That's pretty much all I have for now. Still kinda taking things one day at a time.
My good reputation internally got me an interview with a different internal team, and I got the job!
Sunday night I had a brief flashback that it was the 2-year anniversary of the day I found out my ex was cheating on me, but it popped out of my head as fast as it popped in. I'm so happy that I don't think about my ex and what he did to me anymore!
L and I are doing great and are approaching the 8-month mark. My friends are telling me they have never seen me happier!
I'm being kinder to myself. Eating well, not beating myself up over what I look like in the mirror. Well, still doing it, but not as much. I'm really, really trying not to guilt-trip myself over my mistakes or imperfections.
I'm also reading more books. Gearing up to go to grad school (if they'll ever call me back, grrrr).
Generally, just being happy.
I promised my therapist, family, and BF (I guess? We're on a break...) that I will never cut myself again. I've been doing really good restraining myself.
I will be going inpatient to get the help I need. I will be kinder to myself and try to not worry so much.
I called my credit card companies and told them my financial situation and many of them cut me a break so I can actually (kind of) afford to live again.
I will be looking for a new job more, and trying to become the me I want to be.
--I moved across the country.
--I applied to creative writing MFA programs.
--I have decided to focus the energy I normally would spend on relationships on my own work. I'm continuing my therapy and learning to relax and be comfortable in my own skin. It rocks.