Trouble in Paradise
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I need the Pets people to flame me hardcore

I have officially become a bad person. A bad pet owner to be specific. I have a 13 y/o cat that has become a problem. She hates all living things except me. She attacks my other two cats. She fails to use the litterbox. She is aggressive to my visitors. She rips up the carpet and the couch. She gets into the garbage. She's basically a furry ball of trouble and she is too old to hope for anything better from her. She is set in her ways. For the last 13 years I've been trying to train her to be a better kitty to no avail.

I've put up with her because there is nothing I could do. She's my responsibility. I'm stuck with her. Then I learned something that planted an evil seed in my mind. Led me down a path I shouldn't go. I learned that my local animal shelter has become a no kill shelter. And I can't help but think about it.

So I need to be told what an awful person I am for even considering such a move. I need to be taken apart. Chewed out and ripped a new one. I need something to force the idea out of my head that sending her to the shelter wouldn't be a death sentence.

I need to be realistic, she's 13 nobody is going to adopt a 13 y/o cat, they may not put her to sleep, but she'll spend the rest of her life in a cage. She may be a PITA but she doesn't deserve that. I know she's miserable, but I don't know what to do for her. I even start to think that maybe I shouldn't reprimand her for being naughty, for attacking the other cats or being destructive. It doesn't change her behavior. I squirt her until she's soaking wet to try to discourage her from ripping up the carpet she'll stop briefly but then when she thinks I'm not watching she'll start up again.

Re: I need the Pets people to flame me hardcore

  • NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    Someone on the SO board did this a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't well-received.  

    This is my siggy.
  • It's true. No one will ever adopt a 13 year old cat.
    I agree with everything that muddled said. You should listen to her. -ESDReturns
  • Not going to flame you, but you are correct about her chances of adoption. Has she gotten examined by a vet recently? Anything new go on in your life recently that could stress her out? I would let the vet know what is going on & see if there isn't something medical going on.

    I don't think you are a horrible pet owner for considering it. If she were young & in another type of temperament I would suggest re-homing her since you've got a lot going on in your life right now. As it stands though I would suggest seeing if the vet can help you. 

    Good luck. 

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  • as much as I wouldn't want your cat either, think about the place she could be taking up at the shelter that could remain a revolving door to forever homes for less problematic/ more desirable kitties. sad kitties from gutters with wet fur and hearts full of hope. (and probably bellies full of worms.)

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  • I agree with the pp about asking the vet. It could be a chemical ebalance and they may be able to help you. Or they may be able to recommend something different. Is this a new behavior or has she always be vicious to others?? 
  • Yeah, your assessment of this was spot on.  It will be unforgivable if you make that cat rot away the rest of it's life in a strange, cold shelter... whether it's kill or no-kill.

    I know it's frustrating... but it's also part of what you sign on when you get a cat as a pet.  They do their own thing.  And some of them are going to be flat out b1tches. 

    She's your responsibility until she dies.  And you're a good person, Damik.  I think if you had a lapse of judgment and brought her to the shelter- you'd never be able to forgive yourself.

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    Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
  • just don't let her hear you talking about this idea- the stress may rob her of her ability to walk, and then you'll have to carry her everywhere. then your problems would compound exponentially.
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  • I didn't read any replies, so sorry if this is repeated. DH used to work at a no-kill shelter. What most people don't realize is that no-kill actually means they have a goal of killing less than 19% of their healthy animals. Animals with behavioral or physical problems do not figure into that amount. Also, they're *trying* to do that, but DH's shelter was above 60% kill rate most of the time, and that only counts healthy adoptable animals. All cats were also put down via heart stick, which is exactly what it sounds like.

    Odds are, your cat would be put to sleep very quickly, if not immediately due top her behavioral problems. In all honesty, if you can't handle her or her stress level is too high and it would be kinder to put her down, please take her to the vet and hold her while they do it so she won't be as afraid. 

     

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  • It hasn't been a change in her behavior. It's been a change in my tolerance. The only real change is that she's become really aggressive towards my youngest cat. It's sad, too, because he so desperatly wants her to love him. I'll take her to the vet, but they always sedate her because she gets so vicious. So I'm not sure how much they'll be able to tell. 

  • What type of behavioral work have you done with her? I would be happy to help you with this.  In particular I'd check out the book cat vs cat, put rescue remedy in her water, try a feliway diffuse or collar, and maybe a cat tree (my shy cat likes  to chill up there and death stare the world).  I'd also get a full work up from the vet; aggression can be caused by things like thyroid issues.  And if all else fails you can put her on kitty Prozac, it's not very expensive at all.

    I used to volunteer at a no kill and it's sad.  They are supposed to get ten min out of the cage a day if there are enough volunteers.  It's very stressful and makes anxious cats more cranky and also more prone to illness (we've had issues with ringworm and upper respiratory infections).  They can euthanize for behavioral or health reasons do if she got sick or hit someone, they could euthanize her. My cat lived there for a year and rarely got out of her cage bc she was scared to come out.  At home she is very social and sweet, but there she completely shut down.  It takes the average adult cat 6 months to get adopted.  That's non seniors without issues.  You know better!!

    image "...Saving just one pet won't change the world...but, surely, the world will change for that one pet..."
  • imageEdithBouvierBeale:
    just don't let her hear you talking about this idea- the stress may rob her of her ability to walk, and then you'll have to carry her everywhere. then your problems would compound exponentially.

    OMG *snort* 

    Oh, FFS.
  • imageDamik:

    It hasn't been a change in her behavior. It's been a change in my tolerance. The only real change is that she's become really aggressive towards my youngest cat. It's sad, too, because he so desperatly wants her to love him. I'll take her to the vet, but they always sedate her because she gets so vicious. So I'm not sure how much they'll be able to tell. 

    Good call. She might have a UTI or something (I say that because of the litterbox issue you mentioned). Also, take the younger cat for a once over. Often a healthy cat will attack an ailing cat. The younger one could be asymptomatic, but the older cat senses something is up. Just rule some things out. I know its tough. Left Hug

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  • you already know this, but, reading for it:

    http://www.wonderpuppy.net/canwehelp/euth.htm

     

    It can be hard.  And I"m sorry it's hard.  I'd say look into both Rescue Remedy (foodwater addetive) and a Feliway diffuser.

     

  • Has she had a checkup lately? Sounds like her age is getting the best of her.:(

    She could also be developing a problem with her health. Animals are like people: they can get snappish and grouchy and not be themselves when they're getting ill. 

     

  • imageBowiesInSpace:

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    Someone on the SO board did this a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't well-received.  

    That was pretty bad. She hasn't posted on SO since right? I haven't seen her.  

  • I like the recommendations for the diffuser and RR. If you haven't had an annual done on her, you should including blood work to see if it's something chemical or basic physical.

    We got Soft Paws for our scratcher. It has really helped. Applied correctly, she can still use her claws naturally, the difference is she can't damage our furniture, carpets, or curtains.

    She's indoor only and we're extra careful to be sure she can't sneak out (since you're capping their claws = no defense).

    It's a pretty cheap fix to scratching. Under $20 for 4-6 months.
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  • Just a lurker, but I would also ask your Vet about kitty Prozac.  It can even come in soft tuna flavor.  Once she is calmed down you can start to try behavior "training".
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  • You should look into having a cat behaviorist come in and assess her. Seriously, ask one of your local shelters or your vet if they have someone they recommend. For an idea of what they do, check out the show "My cat from hell". They can really take problem cats and turn them around by identifying what might be setting them off.

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  • I can't add anything beyond what everyone else said, unfortunately.  I think it's a bad idea to bring the cat there.

     What's this rescue remedy you all speak of?  I have a cat that is 80% nice, 20% PITA and I"ve heard of feliway, but not this rescue remedy.  I'm intrigued....

  • If you just can't deal with her anymore, could you find a rescue group in your area that does fosters instead of running a shelter? You never know; sometimes people really are interested in difficult cats. You could be her "foster home" until they find someone who would love her, so she wouldn't be taking up a spot other cats could use, and she wouldn't be in a tiny cage. Rescue groups are great about vetting people, so she's a lot less likely to end up with someone scary. Make a donation to help fund their work, and I'm sure you could find one willing to help you out.

  • imageEdithBouvierBeale:
    just don't let her hear you talking about this idea- the stress may rob her of her ability to walk, and then you'll have to carry her everywhere. then your problems would compound exponentially.

    lol Edith! 

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  • imagemoonfrogx:

    I can't add anything beyond what everyone else said, unfortunately.  I think it's a bad idea to bring the cat there.

     What's this rescue remedy you all speak of?  I have a cat that is 80% nice, 20% PITA and I"ve heard of feliway, but not this rescue remedy.  I'm intrigued....

    You can buy it at natural food places...wholefoods and the like :

    http://www.amazon.com/Bach-Pet-Rescue-Remedy-1-Count/dp/B0030NWZUC

    Maybe it's placebo effect but, eh, worth $10 to try, right/

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