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mom/work questions
1)what/who do you use for childcare?
I have to go back to work so staying home/part time isnt an option but I have a while to go before I go back. But, I am torn between going back to where I used to work- it sucks and its in the bronx
There is no pay difference between the two except that I would be getting a little bit more money for option 1 b/c its nights.
Option 1:No a/c in the summer, back to working weekends, rotating schedule/ days off, filthy condemed location.The only perks are its in the Bronx, so its closer to home, I can work nights= less time at daycare/babysitter, and every other week I get a 3 day weekend. But there isnt much room for movement career wise.
option 2:The other option I have is in downtown manhattan and the extra 10 miles on the west side highway equal hours in traffic both coming and going. But they are looking to get me back and offering me a sweet deal- one I wont get else where at this point- I pick my hours/days off but working nights isnt an option. Its spotless, has a/c and heat ( yea the bx doesnt have those) I get my own desk, office environment, essentially safer b/c Id be off the street and no unplanned overtime/ weekend parades and crap. That would also mean A would be in daycare fulltime. I would be working m-f and she would just be sitting there all day from open to close.
It breaks my heart to have her there all day 5 days a week when I have the flexibility in my job to allow me to work nights and or an off shift so she would be part time or only there 8+ hours a few days a week. Plus, its almost a second mortgage for fulltime day care anywhere from 1200-1800 a month
So now what would you pick?
Re: mom/work questions
well, both my kids are in daycare full time at a corporate center and i don't view it as them sitting there all day. amazing activities + loving teachers + little friends + curriculum at all ages + security in knowing the center and people and other parents who have kids there and that teachers get shifts/breaks = make me comfortable and confident that they are in good care.
do what works for your family and your mental health.
As for child care, when A was a baby our friends grandma watched him till he was 4 months old. Then her daughter-in-law watched him up until he was 19 months. We also had someone near our house (a stay at home mom) who also watched him for several months.
He didn't start in day care till this past October. If you could find someone locally that would be willing to watcher her I'm sure that would help with costs. It's not nice to say but when they are small, it's easier to schlep them around to different places/ppl.
As for your work situation either option has positives to it. #1 the hours and # 2 the room for progress in your career. IMO it sounds like the better deal is option 2 because they are looking to get u you back! To me that would make me feel comfortable going back And the fact that you can pick your hours also.
Any flexibility in your DH's schedule? Maybe an in home daycare would cost a little less. Does anyone in your neighborhood have a sitter or someone they could recommend to watch A? I hope you can figure it all out just take it one day at a time!
i am no help with child care.. my mom is taking the baby when i go back to work and my FIL might be taking the baby 1 day every other week. i am very lucky that my parents are home during the week. plus i had no choice
if my mom is ever called into work or we are stuck we are using this woman who lives in Nyack. I had her daughter in my homeroom and they are a great family.
honestly, i would choose #2. it seems like a better fit even though you would have to use daycare everyday. i would honestly rather a set schedule then rotating days. especially with a newborn.
DH is retired from your job. He has a very PT gig Tue evenings and every other Sunday. MIL watches J the few hours on Tuesday when we're both working.
I hate my long commute and couldn't hack traveling into lower Manhattan, but I'm also prissy so I wouldn't work w/o AC/heat (although my Bx bldg makes me do that sometimes). How many years are you on the job? Part of me thinks you should follow the $ b/c time there is short (compared to "normal" retirement age), but your pension is long. Are you planning to pump when you go back to work? Sounds like Option 1 would make that very difficult. Is there any public transport you could take to Option 2? If you drove into the BX could you hop on the subway? Personally, I'd look for an Option 3 if I was very far from retirement and wasn't in love with the job. Can you get in at a local dept and transfer your time?
I would choose option 2. I would be so pissy if I had to work without a/c in the summer. I also think with a baby, having a set schedule is much more beneficial. It will make it easier for you both to get into a routine.
As for childcare, my kids go to the center at my job. I actually increased the number of days they go (they started at 2x/week. Now my 4 year old goes 4 days and the baby goes 3 days.) They have a full day of activities and the center follows a curriculum. Both of my kids LOVE going to "school." If I had known then what I know now, I woud have put my 4 year old in childcare a long time ago.
Good luck with your decision. I was in a similar situation a few years ago, and while I think I made the right choice, I still second guess myself.
All I can say is this: D LOVES daycare- he cries when I pick him up. lol Envisioning your child in daycare is hard. Like you, giving up my job is not an option- partially for financial reasons, and I'll be honest- I WANT to work. The thought of putting D in daycare gave me a pit in my stomach, but once we found a place we loved, we got into a routine, and we gave it sometime, I realized how great and stimulating an experience he is having.
Poor kid is probably going to be bored outta him mind this summer.
To me it seems like the time you guys would have together would be far more quality time if your choose #2.
Good luck- stuff like this is never easy.
Ultimately, if you can not afford 5 days in daycare then you simply can not even make it an option.
However, if you can swing it, then consider the job you'd return to... the one you said can in the long run offer a better future.
My kids stayed w/family from 6 weeks old until this past summer. We were fortunate enough to have that option. HOwever, had we not had the offer we would have had full day daycare immediately.
They are now in daycare/preschool and love it. They are learning so much and they are happy there.
Go with your gut... your instinct will lead you to the right choice, whatever it is you pick.
Ditto all above posters..... K loves daycare and she's learning a ton there. She's in daycare 1-2 days a week and I swear every time she comes home from 'school' she's learned another song or her alphabet or counting. We honestly never sat down and worked with her on her alphabet or anything..and then 2 weeks ago she came home and just starting singing them ...and singing them pretty good!!! They also do so many craft projects and have so many toys... I kinda feel bad the days she's home with me... I'm prob lame-sauce compared to the things they do there.
If I were you ... I would pick the 2nd option with a regular schedule... I have a friend who used to work nights thinking she would have days with her child...and she wound up being exhausted all the time and not very happy with it. Having a regular schedule just seems to be easier with a kid... they fall into your schedule pretty quickly.Good luck with whatever you decide!
When J was 4 months old, I went back to work and he went to a friend's mom, MIL, my mom and DH. I HATED how each day was different.
As I look to go back to work soon, I am looking forward to daycare/school options. It is great for kids, they wind up with much more exposure then at home kids. So I am excited for them.
Schedules are important also and a fixed schedule is better then a rotating IMO.
i went back to work after 13 weeks. i work nights 7p-730am three-four nights a week, i work every other weekend ( fri,sat,sun) and i work every other holiday. i have torn with the idea of going to days for months now.
although i sleep during day (9a-3p) i see my son A LOT working nights. i am tired, not sleeping as much as i should but i want to see him. i am not against daycare at all, actually looking into part time. you have to do whats best for you guys and what u really want.
im tired, i hate working nights....... but i see my son more than i would working days so i work nights. u have to do whats best for you.
the condemed filthy building is concerning to me. 1800/month day care wow!!! and daycare is fun for kids, tons of activites!!!!
I went back to work after 10 weeks. We originally were going to put DS into d/c but at the 11th hour SIL offered to 'work for us' and watch him. While I wouldn't do it again with my next child, it was fine for the time that it was. Then DH watched him for a few months when he was laid off. Then at 17 months old when my H went back to work we put DS into d/c. We saw such a BIG change in him the minute he started. Within two weeks his vocabulary was doubling and tripling. He has learned so much being in a d/c environment and it has made me a huge supporter of a childcare center environment vs home care. A has already started spelling and his teachers have said he would be ready for kindergarten at 4 if he could go!
It is a big financial obligation, I agree with you there. While it's gone down in price over the years as A has gotten older, we pay a lot for him to attend preschool full time. But I do get some pre-tax benefit through dependent spend flex at my job and it's worth every single penny for the socialization and learning that he's getting.
I agree with what the other ladies have said. #2 does sound like it's the better long term option for your career, but go with your gut and what you feel is right for you and your family. Everyone's situation is different...so what works for one family may not work for yours. Good luck with whatever you decide!!
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Hey ladies! I am due to go back to work at the end of March and I too carry the health insurance so not working is not an option, as well as us needing the paycheck. Does ANYONE know of a good job that I can work from home? I know so many are scams but I also know that some are not. Also....
I would like to have a nanny/babysitter watch my son in our home. Can anyone recommend someone or a reputable service? This is so hard the second time around. I have a 10 year gap between children (divorce) and I was fortunate enough to have my mother watch my daughter when I had her 10 years ago. Now my family has all moved away and I need to find someone I can trust to watch my son.
I'm in the Monroe-Woodbury area and would love if someone could help me!!