Sex & Romance
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Never tried toys...

I've been married for almost 8 months now. The sex is GREAT. I have had absolutely no trouble reaching the big O almost every time we have sex. I think part of this is because I have communicated very bluntly to my husband exactly where he needs to touch me while we are having sex. 

Now that you have a bit of background, I need your advice. I read on here all the time how amazing vibrators are. Other than lubrication, I have never used any other substances/objects during sex. Do you ladies think it is necessary for me use toys if I am already being satisfied on a regular basis? Is there anyone out there that is against toys? I just don't know if I should introduce something new if I do not feel it will change anything. Another thing- I think my husband might be one of those men that gets off on the fact that HE is the one making me O, not anything else. I am afraid it might offend him if I bought a vibrator.

I appreciate the feedback ladies! 

Re: Never tried toys...

  • You're right that it isn't "necessary" if you are sexually satisfied, but you are wrong to think it won't change anything. It will, in a very pleasurable way.

    Don't make assumptions about your husbands attitudes. He might really enjoy adding toys. And he isn't "giving you" orgasms anyway, he is just stimulating you. You can do the same thing and get the same result whether he's there or not. If he's that insecure, he can hold the vibrator for you.

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  • No, I don't think they are necessary.  I am similar to you and I have used toys, but I prefer the non toy route since I don't "need" them
  • Toys are optional. Totally optional!!!

    I have a great sex life with DH but I still have toys and we use them on each other such as my vibrator, it is curved so I will cup it underneath his testicles so that he gets an extra sensation while making love to me.

    You should talk to him about it if you do wish to purchase a toy there are many out there. If you don't want to, that is fine. The fun loving thing about being married and having a sex life is that it is totally up to you two. If you do want to incorporate toys and don't know where to go there are plenty of books and other resources on what to purchase and how to use them.

    I prefer the plug in vibrators because they make no noise when they are being used. The ones with batteries are loud because the batteries are rattling in there.

    Good luck and if you use them or not is totally up to you and your hubby! 

  • They are great if you are both into them.  Try talking to him about it.  He obviously knows that you really enjoy it being just you and him, but that you want something to switch it up every once in a while.

     

    Using toys sometimes doesn't mean you have to use them every time.   Test it out and see if you both like it.

  • What is with these super sensitive guys who are threatened by a freaking vibrator? It's a sex toy, not another guy being brought into the bedroom.
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  • I rarely have problems reaching the big O, but I have toys. I have used them both alone and with my husband. We like to have some variety, and also, there are times when he spends a month on a stretch working at night more often than not. At those times he'd certainly rather I take care of it myself than expect him to get freaky with me when he walks in the door at 3 AM, ready to sleep.

    I recommend the Hitachi wand or the rabbit pearl if you're thinking of buying something. Now that I am pregnant and can't get into most of the positions he likes and get mood-killing braxton hicks every time he gropes my boobs, I would be very, um, desperate right now without my Hitachi.

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  • Toys are fun, but you definitely don't need one!

    To introduce toys into my relationship, I bought a super tiny little one. I think it's called the pocket rocket or something. It's not scary or intimidating, and it definitely does NOT replace what my husband can do for me (so he isn't offended), but it does add a little something special when we are feeling up for it!

    I can use it on me, while we are making love, and he can use it as well! It doesn't go inside but provides a nice vibrating feeling.  I was VERY intimidated by everything out there, and have delved into the crazy ones, but this little tiny one is still my very favorite and works when I'm by myself but mostly when I'm with my husband!

    Good luck and most importantly, have fun! 

     

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