Family Matters
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Posted this on Trouble in paradise.
Not sure if this or that board was the right place to post this
Me and my husband have been together for about 6 years. Just got married in 2009 coming up on 3 years. I know marriage isn't easy but when do you say enough is enough.
Before we got married life was wonderful fights every now and then, but that is with any couple. After we got married I got really sick and had no clue what was going on(this went on for about a year) Then I was told I have IC. During that whole time is put a lot of stress on me and my husband. He would say I was making it up and just to grow up nothing was wrong with me, it's all in my head.........Ok so after I found out I had IC I was put on meds and gain 50 pounds in one year and lost my job during that time too. So it put even more stress on us with money issues! I just got a job in May and have been paying off our credit cards slowly put everything takes time. My husband now talks to me all the time about my weight, how I am a whale and I eat cake every night, how I can't get of my fat a@@ to take out the dog. I do nothing but get fatter and fatter. And how no other man would look at me because I am ugly and huge! As well as that he tells me I cant clean right and I dont know how to keep anything clean I am just a fat pig, and to top it off I am dumb and he asks me if I took the small bus to school.
So I push back and do the name calling too, and I know it's not right. I just dont know what to do anymore. I love him more then anything and I dont know why. He is so nice to me in front of people and they think we are the perfect couple and I try to hold on to that and think that he will be the person I knew 3 years ago.
Please I just dont know what to do anymore.
Re: Posted this on Trouble in paradise.
Hi, I read your comments and thread on TIP. If he told you "the only way you're leaving is in a body bag," then you need to listen to your gut/intuition as well as the wise women who gave you advice on TIP and leave. If you are in danger, then you need to leave.
Get your valuables, get any cash you have, important documents, your dog and GO!
Lose 200 pounds stat.
in other words, give him the boot.
What this is is verbal abuse...and for you to do a t!t for tat name calling number is immature and wrong.
Get rid of him; get counseling for yourself. You also need to grow up and learn how to face a confrontation like an adult and you need to learn how to handle conflict as a grown up, not a name-caller.
When he accused you of making up your interstitial cystitis, you should have RETHOUGHT him.
Wishing you luck. take care.
Why would you WANT to stay with someone who's so cruel to you?
And even if he magically comes to his senses tomorrow, apologizes for his awful behavior and never calls you another name for the rest of your lives (which will not happen) ... will you ever be able to put it behind you that your husband called you a "fat ugly pig who rides the small bus"?
You deserve better. Run.
Your husband sounds like someone you should leave. I recommend you get very viligent about your finances - understand everything and get your records. Then investigate your husband with a PI - someone like that sounds like he has an affair to hide. AND get a good lawyer - not that you are going to file soon, just because you should have your sh!t together and options clear until you do.
Unless and until you do these things, you are going to keep feeling like a looser who deserves this crap. Get some power. You don't need his permission to get your sh!t together.
Why did you repost this after already getting great advice on TIP?
He is abusing you, not physically yet but mentally is just as bad. Leave him.
Even if he agreed, don't go to counseling with him. It's dangerous and his problem is not a marital issue, it's that he's abusive. End of. Run to your parents and get some counseling for yourself!
Let's just say there's no way I'd want to be with a man who called me a "fat pig", "ugly and huge" and said something as horribly offensive as "taking the small bus to school." He is an A$$hold of the highest order and you should dump him as soon as possible.
This honestly has me tearing up at my desk- this could have been me telling this story a decade ago.
Don't think about your lack of money- think about your lack of love! Don't think about moving back in with your parents- think about moving away from someone that is abusing you. Don't worry about the being alone- worry about staying with someone that is okay with hurting you. Don't worry about starting over- look forward to it!
An American Girl's Travels
Yes, this. This exactly.
A close friend of mine recently chose to stay in a relationship with a man who treated her terribly. No matter how many terrible things he said or did, she kept saying "I still love him, and I don't know why--but you can't explain love." I'm no doctor, but now I wonder if my friend just really needs a man or someone to depend on, and/or couldn't stand the idea of losing the "perfect" life she thought she had. But anyway...
Our emotions are strong, but they don't always tell us to do what's best for us in the end. Logic and reason, in this case, clearly tell a different story.