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Breastfeeding Woes... Looong...
Yet another one crawling to the aid of the Niner Moms...
I love breastfeeding, and after the latch, it's just fine, in fact, it's some of the only time he's quiet and I don't feel obligated to help do anything while I'm nursing. Not to mention I love staring at his wonderful face and being able to be all that he needs.
HOWEVER... it's been rough. And from what my friend and MIL say, it shouldn't still hurt or be a problem (they must not remember that far back...) so I'm hoping, since it's a little more fresh in your minds, for some feedback.
Every so often we hit a stride and it's good for a few days, but my left side is slightly flat, so I've been using a nipple shield. Even so, it is easily cracked and has bled a few times. Whenever this happens, I feed him from the right every meal and once I feel like I won't bleed all over the place I pump the left to keep it from completely losing my supply. By that time though, it's already been a day that I haven't used that side. Once it's finally healed enough to let him eat again, we start getting back into the swing of things. The biggest problem then was that my left had way less milk and I struggled getting my supply back up every time. (this has happend three times already, the last time being the worst because I would put him back on the left too soon and have to start healing all over.)
My LC always told me to let him go on one side until he drains it (to get the good creamy milk in the back) and if he wants more, to go to the other. Well he has always been satisfied with one side, so I've always just done one side per feeding. (To my friend and MIL's dismay- they were so confused as to why I didn't use both sides every time- again I think they just don't remember that far back.)
Here's the problem I'm facing today. Yesterday was the first time in about a week that he nursed directly from the left side (instead of pumping), and he's been eating more than before so I need to use both sides now, but since I have been using the right side almost every time for the past few days, it's very very sore and I'm worried that now I'm going to injure that side (so when I get really sore, I pump instead since it has a weaker suck than Jesse). The past two feedings, I have been feeding him on the left (still just getting back from healing) while pumping the right at the same time. I have never felt more like a cow in my life. Because I'm using both sides all the time now, I can't ever give one a break to heal, so I'm hurting all the time.
Not to mention, after the nursing and burping and changing, I only have an hour or two before he eats again and I usually spend that time eating for me since I'm ravenous after nursing. I drink Mother's Milk and eat really well and I've been hoping that the excessive use of both sides would be bringing up my supply. He still spends so long trying to get every drop out of my left side and my right side is about to throw in the towel too.
Matt says it's time to go to formula because it's making me so upset and putting me through so much. I really don't want to quit for so many reasons. I keep telling myself to try to hold out for 6 more weeks until we start having the "spoon foods introduction" talk with the dr. (which seems early, I thought it was 6 months, not 4). It's hard enough to make it 3 hours to the next feeding... 6 weeks looks so far from now...
It's still early, so here's coffee and doughnuts for reading through my rambling, misspelled, run-on, parentheses filled mess.
Take your pick ladies, and any advice would be appreciated.
Re: Breastfeeding Woes... Looong...
Breastfeeding is supply and demand, so the more you use 'em the more they'll produce. Don't listen to anyone else because they're just going to get into your head, and that's not helping anyone. I was in pain for a good 3 months or so because my nipples were able to get more used to the constant, constand suckling. You need that, though, or else you won't build up that tolerance, so as much as I hate to say it, you can't let the cracked and sore nipples dissuade you or else you'll make no progress.
I highly suggest some sort of lanolin to rub on the nipples to keep them protected. Another suggestion I've heard and used is just rub a little breastmilk on your nipples after feeding.
If it continues to hurt to the point where you just can't take it any more, maybe there's something else going on, and it can't hurt to see your doctor to make sure there's not an infection.
Another suggestion is Fenugreek to help with supply, but you have to take it religiously for it to work, and work it does!
In the end, though, you need to do what's best for you and Jesse, and not what others suggest you should or should not do. It's not easy, this whole breastfeeding thing, but it does get easier.
updated 10.03.12
Yeah, they really do get in my head and it makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong, but I guess everyone has a different style of doing things. I use medela lanolin after every feeding, and usually I let my milk sit there and dry on it while I burp him. It seems so silly to me how much of a baby I'm being about the latch. I feel like anything after natural child birth would be a breeze (totally different pain, I know), but my birth wasn't even that bad compared to this. The latch pain is pillow grippingly painful for about 5-10 seconds. There's no sign of thrush or mastitis. The only thing I can think of is that I'm being crippled by the shield, I use it on both sides, but I'm nervous that it will hurt worse trying to get him to latch without it (since he's so used to it now). My midwifes daughter used the shield the whole time she nursed, so it can't be THAT bad...
I agree with MB- its kind of like building a pain tolerance. I had issues with the breast being a little large for her, however, we still managed. Keep it up as long as you can even with the pain. I got those tender care hydrogels that did help as well. I was to the point of bleeding a lot, just had to take really good care of the nipples. Are you wearing pads? I found that those didnt help me with the cracking and bleeding. I wore the lily padz which kind of stick to the boob. I actually had great luck with them since they are silicone since if I did actually leak, it allowed some moisture to the nipple vs. taking it away. I LOVED them. Probably the only reason I was able to breastfeed so long.
Honestly I wish I would have been able to body feed longer. We had two terrible cases of thrush and the 100 degree weather didnt help with that. I ended up pumping 100% of the time and only being able to supply about 85-90% of her daily need. I guess some is better than none. I am still killing off freezer stash with formula mixed, but hindsight is 20-20. You are doing great and dont let others influence you. Just keep trying. Try not to stress and hang in there. If you cant do it - you cant do it, but its worth a great try!
updated 10.03.12
You poor thing. I COMPLETELY understand what you're going through. I went through total hell on earth for the first month of breastfeeding.
Are you sure he's latching properly? That might be why it continues to be sore for you after 2 months...just a thought.
Also, have you had a Dr. or LC check your nipples for an infection or anything? My LC prescribed something called "all purpose nipple cream" when mine were cracked and bleeding. It helped a lot.
The way I got through it was just to keep letting her latch on. I know its much more painful that way, but the pump doesn't drain you properly or let your supply build up like it will when your baby latches.
It will hurt for a while, but that's the way I got through it. Using the cream and letting her latch on both sides for each feeding. I know how brutal it is, trust me. My nipples would hurt even when she wasn't eating. Sometimes I would cry when she latched it was so bad. But eventually, it got better. The shield didn't help me, so I can't comment on that.
Have you tried hydrogels too? They helped me a lot. I have some new ones still in the package that I'd be happy to mail to you if you want them.
Here's what they look like:
http://www.amazon.com/Ameda-17261M-ComfortGel-Hydrogel-Pads/dp/B003IP2L38/ref=sr_1_2?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1328281158&sr=1-2
<a href="http://s65.photobucket.com/albums/h205/adia83/?action=view
Oh...I had so many people (my mom, Josh...) tell me it was probably time to quit because it was so hard on me, but I knew I didn't want to. I'm so glad I didn't quit, but it was definitely tempting. Only YOU know when you've had enough. There's no wrong answer here. You have to do what's best for you, your sanity and your baby.
I read somewhere that "the way you love and nurture your child is more important than the way you feed them".
Hope that helps!
<a href="http://s65.photobucket.com/albums/h205/adia83/?action=view
Yes! That happens to me! I need to go research it. I will try pumping for a few days straight. It takes up so much more time since the pumping and feeding are seperate, but it's worth it to save my nips. It feels so good to know I'm not crazy.
It seems to fit right, I actually didn't know they came in sizes until I bought one and realized it was too small.
I had soothies for a while, but I didn't notice it helping any. Maybe I should go back to trying it... if you don't need them, I would really love to try those out. I'll FBM you my address if you don't have the niner address list. It should be the Kitty Hawk address or a POBox, if its not either of those let me know. Thank you so much.
He's hungry again, so I'm now torn between soldiering through like you said Rach, or pumping for a few days like JA said...
oh wow. im so glad theres hope! I'm calling the office right after I finish pumping! Thank you SO much for all the info. I think I'm hearing an angel chorus...
Ok...I will check to see if I have your address on the list! If not I'll FB you.
Not shooting down anything Jillian said, but I wouldn't be so fast to diagnose yourself with Reynauds. My nipples are still sometimes purple-ish after coming off the pump and sometimes just randomly they are a little bit white too and I don't have Reynauds. Not saying you don't have it either, but obviously check with your doctor about your symptoms first:)
GL and feel free to message me on FB if you need any more support!
<a href="http://s65.photobucket.com/albums/h205/adia83/?action=view
Aw lol. Don't be scared! This doesn't happen to everyone!
<a href="http://s65.photobucket.com/albums/h205/adia83/?action=view
Rach (and everyone else) had really good advice for you, so I don't really have much to add, but I just want to say, if you are determined to feed Jesse your breastmilk and give him the best nutrition possible, then you can get through this. It will get easier and less painful. I wanted to give up SO many times, but knowing I had a good supply, I couldn't let myself deprive my baby of my milk, no matter how frustrating it got. If you truly find yourself losing your sanity because of breastfeeding troubles, then yes, it's time to switch over to formula, but otherwise, I think you'll find that things will slowly improve. Make small goals. I originally wanted to breastfeed for at least 12 weeks. Then 5 months. Then 6 months. Now I'm at 8 months!
My nipples STILL hurt sometimes, but nothing nearly as bad as those early days. (It's usually when he's going through a growth spurt and eating all the time.) It took me at least three months before my nipples didn't feel like they were on fire all the time (and I never had thrush or cracked/bleeding nipples, though I second the rec for the All Purpose Nipple Ointment). Mine also turn white and/or purple sometimes but the pain associated with that has decreased immensely as time has gone on. That is due in part to the fact that Kyler has never had a great latch, despite the attempts of several LC's and one MD who specializes in breastfeeding medicine. I just put up with it because I've been determined to breastfeed him as long as it's working for both of us.
Anyway, I have faith in you. You are doing a great job, and I hope the pain lessens for you as soon as possible!Thank you Tara. It really feels good to have such amazing support. I know what you mean about depriving him of milk, if I ever gave up, I would still have milk and want to feed it to him, so I would just keep going with it. My current goal is to make it 6 more weeks- his next dr appt.
This is the morning of the 4th day I've exclusively pumped and I think it has helped a good deal. Although sometimes I pump significantly less milk. Typically I can get about 6-8oz from the right and 2-4oz on the left (we're working on it). But sometimes I try and only get 4oz total from both sides... that's when I keep it in the fridge to add to it next time and give him a formula bottle. I don't understand. Is it because pumping doesn't do as great a job getting the milk out, or is there just some point in the day when I'm BF and he only gets a few oz and I don't realize it because he just suckles for comfort for a half hour?
I wish boobs had oz measurements on them so I could figure out how much he drinks!!