Trouble in Paradise
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Funeral WWYD?

My bosses daughter will be having a C-section Monday. They baby is not expected to live more than a few minutes as it did not develop the back half of its brain. The funeral is set for next Saturday. 

What should I do? I'm not their "friend." Its more of an arms distance relationship but I feel sorry for them. A card won't do much I think. I don't know the details of the funeral - so I cannot yet send an arrangement. Do I remain silent and just pray that God consoles them? Do I buy flowers for his desk? I"m not friends with the daughter at all. I just hear about her all the time.....

This boss and I do not get along 70% of the time, but I feel like I should do "something." But what? - - I'm leaning toward just praying bc I don't know what else to do. Thoughts?

Re: Funeral WWYD?

  • I would send a card. Praying is a nice thing to do for someone but they don't know about it and it's terrible to have a loss and feel like people don't even acknowledge it - especially when it's the loss of a baby because a lot of people just say nothing because they don't know what to say, I think. When I had a miscarriage in December, none of H's siblings said a word to him - not even I'm sorry - for a couple weeks and he was terribly hurt, on top of the pain of losing the baby. They all told us later (after their mom called them out) that they were thinking of us and didn't know what to say, but that didn't change how much it hurt H at a time when he needed to know they cared about him and the baby we lost.
    DD Lea, born 04/21/10
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    BFP #4 It's a BOY!
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    CP: July 2011
    BFP #3: 11/3/2011 M/C 12/12/11
    We miss you and love you always, little firecrackers!
  • Send a card. 

    How is he supposed to know you're praying? 

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • A card will always be appreciated. Keep an eye open for any, "send donations to..." and honor that request if you wish to do more.
    I agree with everything that muddled said. You should listen to her. -ESDReturns
  • I'd send flowers, or some food to the house.

    This is ghastly; those poor people.

    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • I had a baby that was born sleeping at 19 weeks.  I appreciated every card I got and I still have them.  I think a card would be a great thing to give.
  • Maybe a tree and a bench?
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imagehuber22:
    Maybe a tree and a bench?

    Ha! 

    I agree, a card will be nice and very much appreciated. 

  • Thanks. I'll make sure its on his desk first thing Monday morning.  

     

  • imagehuber22:
    Maybe a tree and a bench?

    ::snort::

    I agree with everything that muddled said. You should listen to her. -ESDReturns
  • Also I post on the miscarriage board on TB and there are a few posters there who had late losses and I've seen a few of them say that they appreciated when people used the baby's name, although for some reason people tend to shy away from it. So if you know the baby's name or can find out, you might want to include it. It's just a little thing but it might mean a lot to them.

    DD Lea, born 04/21/10
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    BFP #4 It's a BOY!
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    CP: July 2011
    BFP #3: 11/3/2011 M/C 12/12/11
    We miss you and love you always, little firecrackers!
  • I would send a card, if at all possible.  I would not want a card on my desk after this type of situation.
  • I got a few cards this week from the few people I told. I will likely keep them forever, they meant a lot. I agree on the card.

    That poor family, that is so sad.  

    Oh, FFS.
  • I'd send a card and maybe get a small arrangement of flowers for your boss.  You don't have to say much, just show that you care.
    Anniversary
  • I would send flowers and a card--but to her home, not to work.
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