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S/O of "when to meet the children" in the post below...
I have NO IDEA how I'm going to feel about this once I start dating again, and it is one reason I don't see myself being ready for a long time, but what about those of you who have kids but don't share custody with your ex? Do you just not have the guy you're seeing over to your place for 6+ months, and get a babysitter every time you want to see him? Do you think you introduce men to your kids too soon because doing things all together is easier than working out the logistics? Do you feel like you don't introduce them soon enough and end up driving the guy away because the logistics are just too hard to negotiate? I'm interested in hearing from any of you who don't have ANY nights free (like EOW, or a night during the week).
Can you tell this is something I have trouble wrapping my brain around? I might be single until my kids are in college. LOL
Re: S/O of "when to meet the children" in the post below...
I was dating a guy for a couple of months late last summer. We made plans for 1. weekends when we were both kid-free 2. times when he didn't have his daughter and I had someone watch my kids (mom or friend) 3. lunch dates during the day 4. He came over here after my kids went to bed and we'd hang out here watching movies and chatting.
It was odd at first, because it felt like I was lying to my kids since I'd tell them I was just going out with friends, but they didn't need to know about it since it was casual dating. I think if you meet the right guy, you just make the scheduling stuff work.
I'm in this situation too!! I have 2 kids (16 and almost 15). Their dad lives in Afghanistan as a civilian contractor so they only see him once a year. My BF met my kids about 3 months after we started dating only because I always have them ( not every other weekend). We took things very slow so we only saw each other every other weekend and only 1 night for a few hours. It sucked..... But it was doable. My kids were old enough for me to duck out for a few hours so I was lucky. Sometimes he would just hang out at my house if the kids didn't have plans with their friends. Over a year later we are seeing each other a lot more..... But we dated for 11 months before he would spend the night when the kids are home. Then, we go to bed after the kids do, and he leaves before they wake up ( only because they are teenagers and sleep til noon!).
Hang in there! I suggest finding a good babysitter! When things progress you can always have him over after the kids are asleep for the night. That might mean some late nights, but it may be worth it!