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How do you respond to this?
I just had the most awkward facebook convo of my life. My friend whose little boy was due the same day as Wyatt is due again in June. Last time she very openly expressed how upset she was that she was having a boy, and just yesterday she found out that she is having another one. After asking her how she was feeling etc. I asked her this:
me: 'So I see you're having another boy!'
her: 'yup. another one'
me: 'are you excited?'
her: 'no'
me: 'Oh, I'm sorry... are you going to try for again for a girl or no?'
her: 'I'm not going to be one of those desperate women who have 6 boys trying to have a girl. Some higher power has decided that I don't get a daughter, and I have to give myself some time to come to terms with that.'
**cricket**
Really?? I'm not usually one to preach 'just be thankful you're pregnant' to others, but that seems really selfish of her. So many women out there are so desperately wanting to be pregnant and have a baby regardless of it's gender, and she is going out of her way to throw herself a pity party, and I'm not planning on going out of my way to feel sorry for her. I would love to have a girl, but I am going to be just as happy if I end up having 3 + boys.
vent over.
Re: How do you respond to this?
Wow. Just wow...
May I punch her please?
Is this someone you value the friendship wish? If not, I would have been snarky over that.
I'm totally in the I-want-a-girl camp, but I wouldn't not be excited over a baby if it's a boy!
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Wow...
Yeah, I have no idea how to respond, but she sounds like a selfish twit. I want to smack her. I mean seriously. I'd love to have one of each gender, but if I only have all girls or all boys, I'm not going to throw myself a pity party and value my child less. Every child is a gift and blessing. This chick totally does not deserve a baby. Sorry, but there are so many people out there like you said, that are struggling and would be thrilled just for the chance of any child.
I don't think you need to respond. She is just being honest... there is nothing wrong with admitting you want to have a daughter someday and being a little bummed if you find out you are having a boy again. I know I've said it before, but just because you are a little disappointed when you find out the gender doesn't mean you aren't happy and grateful to have healthy baby.
I didn't care either way when I was pregnant with Kyle if it was a boy or girl...but I also have no problem admitting that I hope the next time around we have a girl.
I guess I don't get what is so selfish about what she said. She said she isn't going to keep getting pregnant a bunch of times trying to have a girl. Selfish would be if she DID keep getting pregnant trying to have a girl.
I think for me I was more turned off by the fact that she said she's not excited to have another boy rather than the disappointment of it. I just can't imagine being so disappointed by my baby's gender to no longer be excited about it kwim?
I did end up talking to her for a while longer. I asked if they have names picked out and tried to steer the conversation in a different direction. She said at one point that it is a good thing she found out now rather than later because it would have put her into PPD if she had no chance to prepare herself. I really don't get it... I guess I don't want a girl THAT badly.
Ugh.
There's a girl I know (and can't stand) who is pregnant and due around the same time I would have been the first time. As if seeing her isn't hard enough, she posted on her Facebook that they were having a girl and how mad she was because "all she wants is a damn boy". Not disappointed, she was MAD.
Really? She's lucky she's pregnant because I want to biitchslap her.
ETA: I used you're instead of she and it made it sound like I was talking to CMo...totally not the case!
The fact that she said she isn't excited that she's having another boy got me. She should be thankful that she is having another baby, nvm the fact that baby is a boy and not a girl like she wants it to be!
There is so many out there that would love to have a baby and would take having a second boy over having on children, or over having one of each etc.
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
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Maybe selfish wasn't the best word to use, but given what C_Mo has said above, that she's not disappointed, but not even excited at all anymore to be pregnant, and then to go on to say that good thing she found out now rather than later because it would have sent her into PPD, to me that just seems like she's just caring about herself and her feelings and not that she's having another baby. I get disappointment, I may be too if I never get a girl or boy depending on what this baby is, like I said, I'd like one of each. But the way she's acting is not the way someone being blessed with a child should be acting. There are so many people out there that can't have children, that would kill for ANY child, and the way she's acting is just uncalled for, IMO.
I get being disappointed, but the being mad publically puts a bad taste in my mouth. My mom has a family in her class who just had a second son -- and if you ask the dad he said "unfortunately another boy." Come on. wtf. Every baby is a blessing.
My uncle and his wife didn't find out with their second daughter because they wanted a boy and knew it would be impossible to be disappointed in the delivery room. They didn't want to be disappointed for even a minute and it worked out for them. They have two stinking cute little girls.
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What are you looking at?
This. I'm sure I will be disappointed if I find out that I will be having a girl (in the future! This is not a BFP announcement!) because I really really REALLY want boys. BUT I would never, ever share that with anyone except maybe my husband. And then I'd move on and get excited preparing for the kiddo. There are too many people out there who can't have children or don't have them yet for that to ever be a tactful thing to say.