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Diagnose my date
On Saturday night I went out to dinner with a guy I met online. We had some really good online chatting "chemistry" so I was looking forward to it. Met him at the restaurant @ 8pm, good looking and the conversation was pretty decent. Although I felt like I spent a lot of time asking him questions and him answering. And everything in his body language told me he really wasn't interested. Fine I get it you don't connect with everyone you meet.
At the end of dinner we talked about getting together to see live music at some point. Then we left the restaurant, had a quick hug and when our own ways. The whole thing was over by 9:30 and figured I never hear from him again.
But then yesterday I get a text from him telling me that he had a really good time and he'd like to see me again. I should let him know if I'm game and in the meantime I should check out one of the bands he had mentioned during dinner.
I'm completely perplexed by this and have no clue how to even respond to him. I'm willing to see him again I guess. But part of me wants to text him "really I was under the impression that you didn't really enjoy yourself."
Thoughts?
Re: Diagnose my date
I wouldnt text him that.
If you want to try again, do it. If he is receptive, great, if not thats fine too.
Maybe he is just standoffish at first.
That's strange. To me an hour and a half date is really short. It kind of sounds like he might have had other plans that night and maybe he didn't want to get caught up in your date?
I'd give it another shot but only if you're interested. That's weird...
I don't think 1.5 hours is "short" for a first date with a stranger! "Chatting" online does not mean that you really know the person.
I think you need to take things at face value. You are "reading" his body language, but I think you are reading too much into that. "Assuming" he is not into you b/c he crosses his arms a certain way, etc. is projecting your own feelings onto him. Unless he ACTED disinterested (on his phone during the date, etc.) then I would take his interest at face value.
Do YOU want to go out with him again? Worry less about what he thinks of you for now. Your job is to decide what you think of him. If he wasn't interested, he wouldn't text you and tell you he wants to see you again.
I would probably just assume he had been nervous and give it one more shot.
Your'e absolutely right. I think I'm just so used to guys throwing themselves all over me on first dates that it kinda threw me for a loop when he didn't.
I think you're over thinking things and I totally get it. First dates are rough and it's easy to over-analyze. However, if he got in touch with you and wants to go out again, he must be at least a little interested. If you're interested, go for it!
Also, I'd much rather a guy who was more respectful and wasn't all over me on a first date. That's just me.
This! Sometimes first dates are nothing mind-blowing, but the relationship can bloom in the next couple dates.
If it the first time you both are meeting face to face after online chatting, I would allow more awkwardness to happen on the first date and try not to take it personally. It is possible that he is an introvert and that is hard to tell via online since online is one of the better ways for introverts to express themselves.
Would you rather go out with Mintchocolatechip's date (see "Seriously?!?!?" below)? LOL
I'm glad you're giving him another chance - - first dates can be difficult and awkward. If you like him and had a good time the first time out then I'd just see how date #2 goes.