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What's your theory?
I see a lot of posts (not on this board but on others) that are about someone's kid(s) having problems due to an anxiety disorder. Maybe it's just me, but I really don't remember too many kids in school who had such anxiety issues they couldn't function normally in school. Some of the things parents on these boards describe are things I seem to remember were fairly normal (or maybe I was messed up, who knows). I was, along with many other kids I knew, nervous about the first day of school, being called on in class being afraid of getting the answer wrong, afraid I would have an outfit on that would get me teased by others, things like that.
It seems like some things that I considered to be normal childhood anxieties or worries are now considered cause for concern, medications, and anxiety disorder diagnoses. I am sure there are legitimate cases, but when did this become a widespread issue in four and five year olds? How many of these "diagnoses"would you guess aren't a medical issue but a parent thinking their kid is a speshul snowflake? What are your theories on this? Bonus points for links to something other than a medically-inaccurate blog.
P.S. I started wondering this on my way home from work after reading a post on FM about a mom's concern for her son having issues in class. She claimed anxiety issues; sounded like a fairly normal shy kid to me. Thought I'd mention that since otherwise this post seems totally out of left field.
Aaasand...discuss. (Board's slow so thought I could start a discussion since te BVal thing is pretty much over.)
Re: What's your theory?
This is an interesting article from Psychology Today about possible theories explaining the rise in anxiety disorders and depression in young people.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201001/the-dramatic-rise-anxiety-and-depression-in-children-and-adolescents-is-it
It seems (to me, anyway) that its pointing the finger, indirectly, at helicopter parents who coddle too much. If you aren't ever allowed to experience failure, how are you going to learn to cope with it and be persistent until you get the desired results. And I agree with the article about all of the organized sports. You don't play with the kids in your neighborhood anymore, you have to go to a field with a coach, etc.
So, I think the speshul snowflake thing is a direct result of helicopter parenting.
However, I will say that many parents do not let their children experience anything other than "happy." Any twinge or leaning toward another emotion signals a problem to them. I think it's important to understand the difference between clinical anxiety and normal anxiety.
Yes, this exactly.
I was the same way. I had a really hard time making friends. I don't think that I needed medicated, but I think I really could've benefited from some help with social skills and my self esteem.
Good points. Instead of every child being a SS or having a diagnosis (Gasp!), how about we really look at helping children with their social skills and self esteem. I also believes this directly relates to helicopter and super competitive parents. There are the parents whose children can do no wrong, and theres the parents that force their child into all these competitive activities. I'm sure kids these days do have more issues as the pressure for them is intense. However, I don't think these issues require medications or diagnosis (most of the time).
This is what I think. This whole "every kid gets a trophy just for playing" crap is ruining kids. On the off chance someone isn't around to protect their child from a failure or letdown, kids are seemingly incapable of handling a loss or anything that might possibly be considered even a minor failure. Kids need to learn how to lose, how to experience negative emotions, and how to handle disappointment and failure or they have a breakdown. My younger brother was one of the last generations before the 'everyone is a winner' garbage came along. There's building self esteem and there's teaching a kid how to fail and how/what to learn from it. I agree with Geek that the helicopter parenting is a huge culprit.
Oh and by the way, hi Geek, haven't seen you in a while :-)
Hi!! I've been around, mostly lurking. By the time I'm able to actually join in on a conversation, its pretty much over.
I can say from my own personal experience, that the combination of being a "gifted child" and having parents who didn't want to parent long enough to push me through the hard bits, I learned early on that anything worth doing was worth getting out of. I kept that mentality right up until I got physically ill and discovered how good it felt to do hard things that had positive long term outcomes.
My parents didn't label me with a disorder, but they didn't need to hand me that excuse to blame bad behavior on; they just allowed bad behavior as a part of daily life. If I had been given a diagnosis to tout around, it would have been worse.
On the other hand, if properly used, an appropriate diagnosis can be extremely helpful. I didn't find out under my early twenties that I was dyslexic because it just blended into my general disdain for learning. I actually remember a couple of occasions when teachers tried to broach the subject of my strange testing pattern with my parents and got shutdown pretty hard.
I think that they didn't want that label for me because it would have been an excuse for me to not do well. The reality though is that if I had the label, I may have been given the tools to understand where my frustrations were originating and compensate for them in a productive way.
I mean, now that I can say for sure that certain problems are the dyslexia and I know what I need to do to work with that, it is absolutely no problem whatsoever. But since I didn't understand it when I was in school, it was enormous.
I'm mostly a lurker, but I felt like popping out briefly to take a stab at it. I'm sure that the way that we parent children has an effect on the rising levels of diagnosable anxiety in children. But I think the increase in actual diagnoses is related to two things.
1. Greedy pharmaceutical companies wanting to peddle more of their medications to children. Too lazy to find links this late at night, but there have been recent cases of drug companies being sued (and losing) for illegally marketing medications for children (either they hadn't been tested on kids or the drugs weren't necessarily meant for the disorders that the children have). Anxiety is so widespread, it'd hard not to try to get into that industry if that's how you make your money.
2. In order for kids to get services in the schools, they have to have a diagnosis. You might see a kid who is shy or who needs help with social skills, but the only way they will formally get help with that is if the kid has a diagnosis. Otherwise, you will be on your own, on your own dime, trying to provide services to the kid even if they have sub-clinical levels of anxiety. Even if you go to a private therapist/behavioral specialist, you'll be paying out of pocket if you don't have a diagnosis.
Just my 2 cents
...tiptoes back into lurkerdom...
I recently started taking my DD (4yo) to a play therapist for potty issues. Something that has come out of the therapy is that DD has anxiety issues. DD always seems so self-confident, I had no idea this could be a possibility although I knew something was up. I don't have a whole lot of info yet-our first real update meeting is in a week.
I don't think I'm a helicopter parent-I encourage DD to play make friends at the park, don't freak when she falls, ignore thhe tantrums, but I have been wondering if I've pushed her too much to be more social and independent than I was (I was incredibly shy, debilitating really). I've also been examining every parenting decision, non-decision, statement and action that I can remember - it's been exhausting and saddening. I can give you hundreds of examples of things we've done to cause this, but really it's just her personality-very much like her father's personality. Unfortunately, she got the short end of the stick when she got a primary caregiver who is nearly the complete opposite (now).
So, back to the original topic, why is there an increase? Probably a little of all the answers given- more awareness causes an increased diagnosis, in our instant gratification culture more parents are looking for what is going to "fix" their kid, and some kids are just anxious by nature.
As someone who has anxiety, I'm going to say that there are anxiety issues and then there are anxiety issues. Ha.
I was terrified to get up in front of the class, I was afraid of getting the answer wrong, etc... same as all kids. Personally, I don't think that's reason for concern. Who isn't nervous about that stuff when they're young? Hell, look at some adults when they have to give presentations! I'm a big believer in encouraging, letting kids fail, and learning from their problems. The more answers I got right, the more confidence I gained. The more reading aloud I did, the better I got at it and the anxiety lessened. I don't think this is so much an anxiety disorder rather that it's lack of experience and fear of the unknown. These kids are young, school is new, new skills, etc.. I think it's somewhat crazy to expect them all to be cool beans.
Now, real anxiety issues are those that interfere with every day life. I became so debilitated by anxiety at nine years old (I have a phobia that just took over my life) that I wouldn't leave the house. I had to learn how to calm myself, how to focus, how to be. These are amazingly strong skills that build character, self-esteem, and immense pride in yourself. I still use these skills today and am a quite educated, happy and healthy 31 year old.
If your kid is scared or has anxiety about school that is interfering with their grades or ability to learn, look into it. Take them to talk to someone, help them learn to calm and think rationally about their fears. I don't think there's anything wrong with that! I do, however, draw the line at medicating kids who are just nervous in school (or have anxiety in general. I was never medicated for my agoraphobia and I thank my mother every day for allowing me to find the tools within me instead of relying on a pill) - but I know my opinion is somewhat controversial on that topic.
I had terrible anxiety when I was little (and still do to an extent). I wouldn't talk to anyone but peers my age (not their parents, my teachers, etc.) until I was like 9. Rather than medicating me, my parents chose to send me to a private all-girls school so I'd be in tiny classes (1st grade was 13 of us, the classes grew as I grew) and get the extra attention I may have needed to be sure I didn't fall behind in school. They also planned lots of play dates and kept me active outside of school.
Growing up with it I learned how to cope and truly learned social skills on a deep level. My heart still races and I'll get your typical symptoms of anxiety before speaking in front of an audience, but in day-to-day situations I'm fine and have never taken any anti-anxiety.