Trouble in Paradise
Alishanyc
member
...here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart(I carry it in my heart)
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Newbie de-lurking...
Hi Everyone!
I read this board all the time and thought I'd pick now to jump in and start chatting - can I join?
I dont have any TIP, however seems like a good group of people around here.
So, instead of posting a boring intro - ask me anything?
...here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart(I carry it in my heart)
Re: Newbie de-lurking...
Hi Alisha! Of course you can join.
How's your baby?
Will you the story about the colostomy bag in Pathmark?
Hi Muddled! How are you?!
Avery is awesome thanks, she's a little over 7 months old now - it goes so fast really. We're having a ball with her..:)
ACK!! You remembered the Pathmark story. LMAO! This really cracks me up because a friend of mine was having a bad day at work last week and called me and said "I need a laugh, tell me the Pathmark story.." LOL
Well, if this isnt an intro, I dont know what is..
The Pathmark Story:
Before I start, know that if anything crazy, or weird or involving a maniac is going to happen, it will happen to me. Im a crazy magnet...
So, Im super pregnant and going through really crazy cravings for hotdogs. Like, Im hotdog obsessed. My OB tells me that he doesnt want me eating the ones with all the nitrates, and Oscar Meyer makes them without and so, now Im on a mission. Pathmark has them for sure, so I drag the husband with me to Pathmark so I can stock up.
In front of the hotdogs is this little old woman (with her little pushcart) and her daughter, also looking at hotdogs. The old woman wont move, even though I've said excuse me. She ignores me, her daughter does also and Im not caring because like I said - Im on a mission. My husband is a couple of feet away reading the paper, being patient. I squeeze my way in there, and get to looking -
All of a sudden, I see the old lady look at her daughter in an odd way, and the two of them make a b-line out of there. Hey, better for me because more hot dogs, right?
Then, all of a sudden I smell something really bad. And being the worst wife ever, I mouth to my husband "Hey, did you just fart? WTF?!" he's totally appalled, and gives me the stink eye, denying it.
So, it takes me a split second to realize what happened.
In my hotdog obsessed moment, I failed to realize that the old lady's colostomy bag full of poop exploded right next to my feet, and I in turn was sliding around in it like one of the damn Yankees!!
When I realized what was happening, I.LOST.MY.MIND/CAME UNHINGED
I immediately start gagging, about to vomit on my feet. It is now a chain reaction and people around me are gagging at me gagging and are about to start vomiting also. I then am starting to cry and like a lunatic start yelling "Its not my poop! Its not my poop! Im pregnant and just nauseous" - my husband is backing up like Im a leper and obsessively checking HIS feet and pants for the poop and all I could do was unleash probably some of the foulest language any of those people have heard.
Im standing there, gagging, screaming, arms flailing - afraid to move because I dont want to fall- my husband is frozen there, gagging - everyone is JUST.STANDING.THERE.STARING! The staff at the supermarket was very nice and one of the guys said "Are you able to reach your feet (WTF?!), because I can take this bleach wipe and help you clean your shoes off"
LOLOL
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.
Ack! It's so gross!! Thanks for sharing (even though I left out a very important word in my request. oops!)
I'm glad you're enjoying your little one.
OMGOMG! You poor thing!!
and welcome.
Thanks for the welcome everyone.
Yeah, part of me can understand why she just left in a rush, I could get how that would be humiliating.HOWEVER, before leaving Id have at least said "watch your step" or SOMETHING. Instead, I was just gliding around in it. LMAO!
You have NO idea how freaked out I was. My husband didnt want me to get in the car (supportive, right? LOL) - and for like 2-3 days after, the both of us kept saying "Do you smell poop? I smell poop. That poop I smell?"..we SWORE we smelled it. It was pure hell. LMAO
BFP #4 It's a BOY!
CP: July 2011
BFP #3: 11/3/2011 M/C 12/12/11
We miss you and love you always, little firecrackers!
That is both hilarious and awful. I can't believe she just left and didn't give you a warning!
Also, welcome!
Glad I could help! LOL
I KNOW!!!
Thanks for the welcome!
OMG, I was totally thinking the same thing. Sitting here in my pj's saying to myself "I want a do-over, Im now the Shyt Girl" LMAO!
Totally okay, it is a funny story.
I like to think that somewhere, out there in the big, wide Internet, on a different board, a poster is de-lurking with a story about how she pooped all over someone one time and then left.
Welcome! Oh and don't be one of those people who de-lurks and then never posts again!
I'm going to officially suggest "Colosto-Gal."
YWIA.
Oh, yes. That's WAY better. lol.
It actually is.
I'm so so so very sorry, Alisha.
OMG!!!! I am definitely laughing at my desk!
Welcome, and thanks for the story!