New Jersey Nesties
LaVitaBella
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Do you think this is a little much?
So my mom mentioned that she and my dad were doing some research online for a swingset for their backyard for Julia. They had offered (as did my in-laws) to buy her a swing set for our yard. Most of our yard is deck and the grass is on a slight incline so we said no. Also we won't let one set of grandparents buy big ticket items like that. If we want that for our kid we will buy it. Anyway..... I am kind of annoyed that they are getting a swing set for their house. Having toys there for her to play with is one thing but I think it's a little excessive to get a swing set. I asked my mom not to, that it was a little much, she didn't need all that at their house, and my mom got mad at me. I feel bad for bursting her bubble and I apologized and told her it's her house she can do what she wants. I still feel funny about it. Not mad or upset..... It's hard to put into words. Part of me wishes they wouldn't, I know my husband would take it as another situation where my parents go overboard in getting Julia presents and stuff. The other part of me is like, hey who cares, now she will have something fun to do there. It's hard to explain. I just wanted to hear what others would think.
Re: Do you think this is a little much?
it wouldn't bother me. i don't feel the need to keep things even when it comes to someone else's choices on what to spend or what they want to purchase for their home. i see that as none of my business. my parents and ILs rarely run gifts or purchases for the kids by us first unless it's for our home and they are questioning it.
*always remembering Annaleigh Lucy*
wouldn't bother me at all.
my parents have lots of cool toys they keep there... train table, etc - things we don't have room for here. It makes the boys love going to visit- which makes us happy.
So if it were my parents I might say "Are you sure?" but that's because they live in TX. If we went over there often and they wanted to get it, sure why not.
Is it because you wish you guys could give her a swing set at home and you feel bad about not being able to? Like I'd be a little hurt if my parents bought M his first trip to Disneyland or something because I can't afford to. Is that the feeling? I can understand that, but if that is the case, push it out of you mind. It's a nice thing for them to do.
this one's on you...its your parents house...they can do what they want in their backyard...i mean really, yeah, they're putting in for julia now, but you have 2 younger brothers, so eventually there will be other grandchildren...
you can't spend the rest of your life trying to keep your parents equal with each other...if they want to spend the money on her, and they can without having to eat dog food for the next 30 years, i don't understand why you won't let them...wouldn't you rather that they be able to see her enjoy what they can give her rather than her get it when they aren't here any more?
I think it's very generous of your parents and if they have that money to spend and want to do it, don't feel bad about it. It's their yard. My parents love buying gifts for my daughter and I figure that it makes them happy to do it and my daughter will enjoy the gift, I don't mind at all. I actually prefer when they buy things for her to play with at their home, less stuff here! Both my parents and in-laws tend to spoil her a bit, but then we just spend our money on other things fun classes, more clothes, etc. Once she gets older, of course I want Santa to bring her THE big ticket item that she wants, but until then, most gifts are fine with me!
you guys should discuss this...big picture, the most important thing is that she is loved...i know very well that neither of you think that love is shown by things...so then the question becomes what does he feel bad about...it would be one thing if they didn't love her as much as they loved their other grandchildren, but we know that's not the case...they just have a lot more kids around right now and they may not have as much disposable income...that doesn't mean they love her any less...so there is nothing to feel sorry about...
I agree with everyone else. I wouldn't try to control the situation. My ILs are dirt poor. They can't afford much. I just don't tell them about what my parents do. My parents have a lot of grandchild so they can't go too overboard for anyone but they definitely do a lot more than my ILs could ever dream of.
I saw my dad's parents all the time when I was little. They had a small house but I loved visiting them b/c my grandmother was a lot of fun. My mom's mom passed away so I only had my grandfather who wasn't particularly touchy-feeling. But he lived in really cool house with tons of land. So I loved going over there just to run on the property even though my grandfather wasn't really one to play with me. I'm sure your dd will love different things about her grandparents and it won't wind up being a big deal over who has what.