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@When you were TTC, did you tell anybody?

When you decided to TTC, did you tell anybody? Like your parents or friends?

When you found out you were pregnant, how long did you wait until you told people?

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Re: @When you were TTC, did you tell anybody?

  • I am going hypothetical here since I am not TTC right now. I think I would tell my two best friends and if my family asked, I would be honest but wouldn't offer the info without them prompting. If I were pregnant, I am pretty positive I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut :) But I would only be telling family and close friends, not like a facebook announcement or anything.

    are you TTC?

  • With W, we didn't tell anyone right away. After trying for years, I finally broke down and told two friends. Both of them gave me "advice" that kind-of hurt (you just need to relax and it'll happen). I also told my parents because I had a bunch of hospital appts I needed to go to and my H was out of town and I wanted some kind of support. We never mentioned it to my ILs. When we were first married, my MIL would constantly tell me (not H) that we need to wait to have kids. Then, when she found out I was pregnant (finally) she cried to my H that she thought we didn't want kids. She blamed herself because she assumed that by us not having kids he was saying he didn't have a good childhood. No mention of her constantly telling me to wait - or ,announcing in front of family several times that she's not ready to be a grandma. So weird.

    With W, I found out while my H was out of town. My mom was coming to stay with me that weekend and it sucked not saying anything to her. We went out to dinner and there was a baby at the table next to us. A really cute baby. When we finally told her about it two weeks later she said that at dinner she didn't want to mention the baby because she didn't want to upset me. We waited until I had my first sonogram to say anything to friends and family. We would've waited longer, but we were moving here. With the 2nd, we told our parents right after we discovered it. We're slowly telling friends, but I'm not in a hurry.

  • DD was a surprise, so we weren't TTC.

    With this one I had said I wanted to have a spring/summer baby, and would prefer DD to be 2.5 or 3 years old. Given that info, my sister and close friends here knew that I would probably start TTC at the end of last summer, but I never told them "we are TTC now."  I thought it would take at least a few cycles to get a BFP, so I planned a few "practice cycles" starting in June since I had never charted before, just to get an idea of exactly how my cycle would look. We got lucky and pleasantly surprised when I got my BFP the very first "trial cycle," so we were pregnant before anyone thought we were TTC.

    I told my sister right away. I was going to wait to tell my parents, but they were about to book flights to come visit us and I wanted to give them the option of waiting to visit until after the baby was born, so I had to tell them right away too. (They couldn't afford two back to back trips.) To be 'fair' we told DH's family too, but we waited to tell everyone else.

     

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  • Not a soul! In fact I lied to my mom and told her we wouldn't be trying. If you want to tell, I would just say prepare yourself for anything and everything someone (who knows better) would say. You know what they say about opinions and a$$holes, everyone has one and they often stink. ;)
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  • My best friend and my SIL know we were TTC, but that was it. When we found out, my parents were also planning a trip over here, so I told them so they could decide whether they wanted to wait or not. They ended up coming both during my pregnancy and after DD was here. We told my ILs (including DH's siblings) shortly after to be fair and because we wanted prayer support. Everybody else found out when 1st tri was over. Oh, and one good friend here guessed and I wasn't going to lie to her, so she knew as well.

    This is our last cycle TTA, and we'll TTC#2 starting in March. Right now only my SIL (same one as before) knows that we want another one soon. Whenever anyone else asks, I remind them that I had a complicated pregnancy and a preemie, and I don't want to risk having a preemie while we're back in the States this summer since that would be an insurance nightmare. If we are successful in the first cycle then we may end up coming back a few weeks early, but we'll see how things go. I'm not counting on getting pregnant right away (although it would be a pleasant surprise, as with PP). We'll probably tell our close family right away again because we believe that prayers can help and wait with everyone else.

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  • We are thinking about TTC soon but to be honest we are not being 100% careful.

    I was just wondering if you told your family. I dont really want to because I dont want people asking for a status update like every week but it is kinda of strange to be thinking about doing something big in your life and not tell your family. My family didnt take it really well when I told them I was going to get married and stay overseas. If we are lucky to get pregnant, it will probably be really sad for my parents that they live so far away. I dont know if it is a good idea to prepare them first or just wait and see how it goes.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • We didn't tell anyone we were TTC and we waited until 3 months to tell anyone I was pregnant.

    If we ever try again I would probably tell I was pregnant earlier. 

  • We didn't tell anyone we were TTC and next time I'd do the same.
  • Never even occurred to me to tell anyone that we were ttc!  That would be just weird to us... though dh did chat to one of his mates about it cos we were trying a few months before it happened (this guy and his wife had probs conceiving but now have 2 kids)

    Didn't tell anyone til I was 11wks and that was a couple we were on holidays with that summer and also previous summer - they had noticed I wasn't drinking. Told our parents the following week after another scan. 

    Lilypie Trying to Conceive 21 to 37 day cycle tickers
  • We did - our family has been annoying us about this for years so we started telling people we were TTC a few months after we started. It's very, very strange since it's kind of like talking about your sex life with your inlaws. Anyway, I just wanted people to stop freaking asking me about it. I also told way, way too many people that I was pregnant. I will be doing everything differently this time around.... a few people know we're TTC (again) but I'm not really sharing the details and I'm only telling super close family/friends if we get successful again eventually.
    TTC #1 since Aug 2010 * BFP Aug 2011, EDD April 16 2012 * MMC @ 7w5d, D&C @ 10w5d
    BFP Apr 2012, EDD Dec 19 2012 * twin h/b at 6wk, 9wk scan * Baby A lost at 12wks, Baby B was my rainbow born at 36wks
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  • No, we didn't tell anyone. A couple of my friends knew a general timeline, such as 'in the next year or two', but nothing specific. I didn't tell my mom or my sister, who I basically tell everything, because I didn't want to put them on pins and needles and I didn't want to be asked about it at all.

    I told my sister right after my BFP. I told my mom, dad, IL's and my two best friends at 8 weeks. I told the IN board around that time...callatini came with me to an u/s while I was in London, I visited littleredbuttons around 12 weeks and had an IN meet-up around that time. I told everyone else (ie: extended family, all my other friends and DH's friends) gradually starting at about 14 weeks. I first mentioned it on fb at about 20 weeks.

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  • No.  I told one friend and my sister because I literally couldn't keep such a big secret and had to tell SOMEONE, but other than that we didn't tell anyone.  We talked about that long before TTC and thought that we would rather not face lots of questions.  On the flipside we told people I was pregnant when I was only 3 and a half weeks because I thought I would want the support no matter what.

    ETA:  Dulcemaria: Would you like to do that GTG this Friday? 

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • imagePittPurple:
    It's very, very strange since it's kind of like talking about your sex life with your inlaws.

    This! A million times over!!!

    Lilypie Trying to Conceive 21 to 37 day cycle tickers
  • I told one friend we had gone off of BC but that was it.

    Funny enough, MrsP2B was the first to know I was pregnant because H and I were going hiking with her and her H, and I didn't know how I would feel with morning sickness or how my stamina would be. I wanted to warn them. Also, we were going out to dinner, but I wasn't going to drink. Sure enough, it was only my second time meeting her and I came *this close* to throwing up in her car.

    We told H's parents about a week after we found out, and we told my mom three weeks later when she came to visit us. We told siblings at the same time, but everyone else heard after the three month scan. 

    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • We only told a few close friends when we started TTC.  As it's been taking longer than expected, I've told a few more.  But not family - I would find that too weird to talk to my parents about.  DH just told his mom that we were planning on trying this year, but no real details.  That was more than I wanted to say, and I can already see it's going to be a problem as she has been hinting more than usual about it.  Not ideal since we're having trouble and it upsets me.

    We plan on telling family and very close friends after our first u/s, and then broader friends after first trimester. 

    image
    Cecilia arrived 12 October 2012
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Sort of, people knew we wanted to start a family right away but it isn't always that easy. I ended up being diagnosed with infertility and meanwhile my SIL got pregnant so in the end we ended up telling just are immediate family members due to all my tests, treatments and the fact that I wasn't really up for having her perfection and pregnancy in my face. That part didn't matter it turns out since I was put in many uncomfortable for me and hurtful situations anyway, but the good news is I did get pregnant eventually. 
  • I don't plan to. I don't want to expose myself to constant questions and/or advice. Also, if we had trouble conceiving I'd rather deal with it in private. But I'm a very private person in general.

    My plan would be to announce it around the 12 week mark though I might tell my closest friends a bit before and H might tell his brother before then - we'll see.

    Actually, you guys will probably be the first to know.

  • Haven't started yet and I doubt that if we do we'll tell people. If someone would ask me very excplicitely I'm not sure if I'd lie about it though, probably depends on who it is that's asking.

    If we make it happen, I think I wouldn't tell anyone about a pregnancy for quite a while either. Because of my difficult relationship with my parents, I wouldn't want to tell them until I started really showing, probably. DH would want to wait telling his parents as his mom is a total worrier and would call 3 times a day to check up on progress.

    You never know what happens though, who knows if when we start TTC and/or I get PG, suddenly we'll want to tell the whole world.

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  • Nope. Wait, I think I told 1 friend, but only because she was TTC, too, and it came up naturally in conversation.

    I waited a while to tell most general people (friends, co-workers, etc.), but there were a few very close friends and family members, and my yoga teacher, whom I told at 6 or 8 weeks. We did a big announcement at Thanksgiving for DH's family because we wanted to tell them in person. I was about 14 weeks at the time.

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  • Two of my friends knew I stopped taking BC as it had come up in our conversation, but we didn't tell anyone else about TTC.  

    My mom came to visit the day after I found out I was pregnant, but we didn't tell her then.  Actually the captain from my field hockey team was the first to know as she realized I wasn't drinking at the end of season party (stuck out like a sore thumb as everyone drinks a ton at this) and because I wanted someone on the team to know as I continued to play in summer league just incase anything happened.  We told one SIL and her H at 8 weeks because we saw them in person and this wasn't likely to happen again. We told everyone else at 11.5 weeks (we had a scan because we thought we were at 12) since we were in the states again visiting. 

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  • I didn?t tell anyone we were TTC, but then I had my first miscarriage and needed the support, so a few people ended up knowing about it. We never told DHs parents, though. Because as PP said, that would be like talking about your sex life. I didn?t tell very many people IRL until I was past the 12 weeks point. In fact, I think I was 16 weeks before my sibs and cousins knew.
    "Cause life
  • When I got pg we weren't particularly "trying" in the sense of charting, planning, etc, but obviously we weren't using bc, so clearly pregnancy was a likely outcome.  Anyway, to the extent we were TTC, we didn't tell anyone...like pps have said, we're pretty private people, so essentially, I'd feel weird talking about things related to our sex life w/ others.

    I wouldn't have told people until 12wks.  That said, had serious issues that were months in the sad resolution and I did tell my Mom and sister at that point just because I was having surgeries and if anything happened to me, I didn't want poor H to have to be stuck explaining the whole drama.

    image
  • nope, didn't tell anyone because we didn't want any pressure or people constantly asking us about it

    we told my parents & his around 7 weeks (because my family was in town for holiday) - but I think we still would have told family again that early, because I had to tell SOMEONE - I felt like I was going to burst with the secret

    told friends after the 12 week scan was all ok :)

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  • Only very few people knew, a couple of key people at work and my best friend, because it wasn't going to be easy. DH had to have a vasectomy reversal (failed) and then we had to do 2 rounds of IVF. I didn't tell any of my family and the couple of people at work only knew because it was necessary because of all the appointments. When we finally got pregant only those people knew. We told our families at 13 weeks (I was too paranoid to do it sooner) and everyone else after our 20 week US. I didn't show much until that time so in that respect it was easy. Most people don't know we did IVF so we get a lot of "when are you going to have another one", which won't happen. We are old and it took a lot of funds/effort and we have have DH's 2 older daughters and we are raising his 2 nieces so we have our hands full. Plus DD is perfect (in my opinion anyway) so why mess with a good thing?! (we only had one chromosomally good embryo on each try so we got very lucky in my opinion).
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  • When I got pregnant last time I told my parents and ILs...then had to tell them about my miscarriage - in some ways it was good for them to know that we were actually trying (my ILs are pushy about it in a really obnoxious way).  We're now going through IVF and I've told my ILs (as they're around a lot and I'm sure they'll notice me not feeling great if that happens) and I've told a few people at work.  I'm still debating on telling my parents, but probably will.  I'm not sure when we'll say the results...
    image
  • I told my mom when we were TTC...but she's not the type to ask for updates.  

    Once I found out I was pg, I told my immediate family (mom, dad, sister, grandma + aunt) around 6 weeks (after my first appointment).  For other family and close friends we waited until after 12 weeks.  For all other friends, I posted a pic at 27 weeks on FB :)  

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