Travel
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Sister's Grad/ Turning 30- travel gift?
My little sister is graduating college (June) and turning 30 (Dec) all this year... She's worked really hard, and has been dealing with a lot including, but not limited to dealing with a husband in rehab for prescription painkillers who quit his job the week before she started her nursing program... (phew, a lot of info right there...) In any case, I'd really like to do something really special for her and was thinking of an extended weekend at an all inclusive or something.
Do I have to invite her husband? If so, do I have to pay for him to travel? (My H says no, that he shouldn't be rewarded because of all he's put her through...)
Any suggestions on where to go?
Re: Sister's Grad/ Turning 30- travel gift?
i dont think it's up to you to decide if you should invite her husband or not. that's her choice. if it were me i'd probably give her a GC for a trip (like nights at a resort) and then let her decide if she wants her DH with her or not. NOT inviting him might be a bad thing to do in her eyes. they're married. it's up to them to decide. STAY OUT OF IT!! and her dh having a dependency issue dosen't make him an evil guy. i think your DH was way off base with his answer. not for him to decide.
but were you goingt o pay for it full on? airfare and everything? or just the hotel? if she's just graduated and he's not working they may not have the extra $ for airfare and then the gift wouldn't be used.
i think a weekend at a spa (at someplace close by-driving distance) with you would be approproate-make it a sister trip.
I was thinking about going on a trip together... This is why H says "no go" for her husband... And the reason why he said that was wayyy more detailed than just his dependency issues... i.e. he sold my deceased grandmother's jewelry to pay for his addiction and other things of that nature.
And yes, paying for the full trip. She's never been anywhere except their honeymoon, which was also in the states.
that's fine. it still should not have a bearing on if YOU invite him or not. she's your sister but that's her husband. i say leave it up to her OR do a trip her and you.
agreed.
It should probably just be a trip with only you and her
OR
all 4 of you.
If I understand you correctly, you would like your husband and sister to go on the trip with you, correct? If that is the case, then she will probably automatically invite her husband. In this case, you are under no obligation to pay for her husband to travel. You could just tell her that you would like to treat her to a vacation but that they will have to cover her husband's costs.
However, if you don't want her husband to be included, then the best option would probably be to have just a "girls" weekend with you and her. If you include your husband, then she will naturally want to do the same as well with her husband. But if you make it a girls weekend, then her husband is automatically taken out of the equation.
I say you either invite her husband (regardless of his issues) or you make it just a girls weekend for the two of you. It's super awkward no matter what the situation is to not invite her husband along with you and your husband.
If you feel like it'll be too much drama to include her husband, then just make it a girls weekend and just you go with your sister. It's not your place to decide to leave her husband out.
As far as recommendations: I'd check out groupon and/or living social getaways; just be aware of blackout dates (especially if she's in a nursing program).
If it's just you and her going, maybe you two can reminisce about spring break and go to this all inclusive: (<CLICKY>)
My older sister, who was married w/ 2kids, job, house, etc, took me on a long weekend as a congratulations on your graduation deal. It was just the two of us (not her family or my FI, now H) and I really enjoyed the time we had. I love my H, my niece, nephew, and BIL, but it was very special to have some "alone, adult time" with my sister. Hadn't happened in a looong time (actually, probably never), so it was great to just have us time. Sure I missed the rest of the family, but it was one weekend once, hardly the end of the world. I don't think it was selfish of either of us, in fact, the fact that my sister made time/took time away from her immediate family to hang w/ me meant a great deal.
I didn't feel like she "didn't invite" my FI/her family, I think it was more just an us thing. FWIW, we went to Vegas and then the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. Awesome time (the Canyon-- I could take or leave Vegas).
Anyway, understand the recovery thing adds another dimension (e.g. if BIL isn't in a place where he can be alone right now, etc). If that's the case, I'd suggest maybe buy miles/gift certificates and wait to go until he's in a better place to be on his own. Because if he's so early on in recovery, even if he went, the trip may be hard and/or the leaving/separation might be too stressful for both him and your sister.
I would do a sister trip for just the two of you. You cannot invite her somewhere with you and your husband without her husband (regardless of what his problems may be, he is her husband and it should be a given that he is invited on family trips), and I think it would be horribly rude to invite the two of them but pay for her and not him (if I understood you correctly, that was your other question). That's really awkward and puts her in a bad position to either leave her husband behind or essentially pay for part of her own gift.
As far as trip ideas - depending on her interests maybe a long weekend at the beach or a city weekend with shopping and eating. What is your budget and where are you coming from? Miami comes to mind - beach, pool, spa, restaurants, shopping. If you're not into the beach, maybe NYC?
Girls weekend! Ideas: Beach/all-inclusive (Cabo, Puerto Vallarta, Cancun); City/Shopping (NYC, Miami, SF, Vegas), Spa/Outdoors (Seattle, Sedona, anywhere)
What a great sister you are.
I think you should just do the trip for you and your sister. It's good sister time and gets her away from some stress it sounds her husband may cause. And if your BIL doesn't like it, tough cookies.
ETA: Check out cheapcaribbean.com for great deals. And we have been to Dreams in Cancun three times and really like it. We priced it this year on cheapcaribbean and for 7 nights with air from Dallas it was 2700, so I bet for just a long weekend you could get a great deal! Good luck and have fun! Such a great sister!