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How would you respond?
I know many people on this board have cut ties with family members, so I thought I might get some help
A little background:
I have cut ties with my biological father. FWIW, this didn't come about with a lot of hair pulling and nail biting. In reality, the extent of the "cut" was mentioning to my grandmother that I would prefer for him not to be around when I visited her. She has since cut ties with her son, so this wasn't a difficult request for her to honor. My bio-father never attempted to contact me to discuss or maintain our relationship (it's been 10 years since I made the decision to cut him out, but honestly we barely spoke before then - I just didn't want to pretend anymore when he was around that he was the proud father). I noticed he stopped sending birthday cards, but I'm not sure if he was even informed that I didn't want a relationship with him.
So, anyway, here's my question:
I recently had a baby, which I've posted about it on FB. I'm FB friends with my bio-father's son (technically my half-brother, although we've never really known each other). My half-brother friended me, and I accepted, but we haven't really chatted or anything.
Today I got this message from him:
I know we haven't really been a major part in your life for a while and you may not want us to be... or maybe you think we don't want you to be... and it may not really be my place to say anything, but you should really tell dad he's a grandfather. I don't think you have any idea how much he'd love to hear it from you instead of me or anybody else for that matter. Hell, he might already know, but simply hearing it directly from you would definitely mean a lot. Please just give him that much. I don't know what you might think of him, but you should at least give him that.How would you respond to this message? I feel bad for the boy. From what I understand, my bio-father is estranged from his entire family at this point, and my step-mother from hers. I think that my half-brother wants to have connections with his relatives, but has been kind of cast out along with his parents.
I don't really feel it's necessary to respond with an in depth discussion of why I will not be contacting my bio-father to inform him that I have a child (hell, I didn't let him know when I got married, got my masters, started a PhD program, or any other major milestone in the past 10 years). On the other hand, I don't want to be a *** to this boy who I really have no problems with.
I was just curious how others would respond, or if anyone has tactful wording along the lines of "I really just can't be bothered to contact the man and open up a line of communication. Sorry."
Thanks in advance! Also sorry for the post and run - the baby's starting to fuss 
Re: How would you respond?
I hope you can respect my choice, which is not to reach out to him in any form.
thank you for understanding.
I would say "thank you so much for your thoughts on this, I will consider them" .
You don't owe this stranger an explanation, or your biofather, either. And your child's wellbeing (or very existence, for that matter) does not exist for the mere purpose of adding whatever they think it might to their lives. There's a reason you're estranged, it's sufficient to you, and I wouldn't get into any further discussion about it.
I agree w/ this 100%. You give no explanation and you acknowledge what he said.
Thank you for your response. I realized this is what was bothering me the most - the sentiment that it was somehow my new daughter's responsibility to make my bio-father feel good about himself or somehow build the bridge to reconnect us as a family.
She has a hard enough time figuring out how to poop, she doesn't need all of this pressure