Trouble in Paradise
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TIP over on TB Blended Families
Re: TIP over on TB Blended Families
Clicky.
That was my post and I am actually still unsure what to do.
Are you saying we should or shouldn't have asked her?
I definitely regret asking her and would love to make it clear to her that we want her.
Also, I feel that it would be better for her to be with us than the grandmom but what do I do about it now? The grandmom now has temp. legal custody (till June) so unless SD decides, I think we are stuck with it.
IMO the kid gets a say in where they want to live and why, but not the final decision. I do get that she would have had to transfer schools mid year and especially for a kid with special needs, that is a horrible idea. But she's also not old enough or mature enough to just declare she is moving in with whoever and for all the adults to just fall into line.
I hope you realize there is a lot of WTF about this situation.
Yes. I do. When it was all happening, I knew that things were bad but I apparently was deciding to act like a child.
Now, I can't believe everything that happened. I just want to move forward, hopefully with SD.
I agree, we shouldn't have asked her. Now, there is probably not much to do unless she decides. Which hopefully she will or she will live with BM.
I actually think you've realized you handled the situation poorly and I give you credit for that. My biggest WTF is how your bf is handling this. He let you trash her family, he let her decide where to live, he's chosen not to be involved in therapy or school since she chose to live with grandma, and he moved to a new house mid school year that would have required her to transfer schools. You guys have not been together long enough for you to be a Mom figure for her and you're not married so while you didn't act in a way that was best for her, I blame you a lot less for allowing things to devolve to this point.
Yes. All of this.