Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
WWYD? - slowing things down
I started seeing a guy (we'll call him K) a little over a month ago.
I actually think I like him (though I'm feeling a bit the cougar - he's ~5 years younger than me - yikes!), but there's just SOOOOO much baggage. K is former LDS (now atheist) and I learned this weekend that he was married once before ("forced" into a marriage in the church before he outed his lack of belief to his family) that ended poorly after all of 8 months.Being raised LDS for 20+ years and the bad marriage have had some pretty serious impacts on his relationship skills.
K texted today to see how I was doing, and to double check my address because he saw something he thought I'd like, purchased it, and was having it shipped to me (no idea what it is - he says it's a surprise).
I'm willing to see where this goes (again, I do like him), but I've got my concerns so I'm not jumping into things all the way. Based on his reactions recently, I'm worried that he's becoming REALLY invested REALLY quickly, and I don't want him to be hurt more than necessary if things don't turn out the way he would like.
Suggestions on how I can slow things down without completing cutting him out of my life?
"You don't get to be all puke-face about your kid shooting your undead baby daddy when all you had to do was KEEP HIM IN THE FLUCKING HOUSE, LORI!" - doctorwho
Re: WWYD? - slowing things down
BF is also former LDS turned atheist who was married twice in the LDS church because "it's what God wanted," and his second marriage started its demise when he left the church. He's part of a chat group for ex-Mormons now, and I'm sure he'd be willing to chat with you about that aspect of it and what K might be going through/have gone through, if you're interested.
Otherwise, I'd just sit him down and say, look, I like you, but I want to take things slowly so that no one gets hurt. Hopefully he will understand.