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My Favorite Part of Spring~Red Sox Baseball!
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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$ and Divorce Poll
The radio did a bit on this today, based on the Katy Perry/Russell Brand divorce settlement.
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup?
2. Who has a higher net worth?
3. if your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)?
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)?
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK?
My Favorite Part of Spring~Red Sox Baseball!
Re: $ and Divorce Poll
During our premarital counseling, we actually took copies of the dictionary page for divorce and physically scratched it out so it was incomprehensible. We went into this marriage with the mindset that divorce is NOT an option and the word doesn't even exist, so that said, we won't depart eachother until one of us dies.
I am still of the mindset that we can work through any differences or issues, but for the sake of this poll, I will pretend to be callous or think like my sister, who will probably end up married/divorced multiple times.
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup? no
2. Who has a higher net worth? him, most likely
3. if your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? doubt I would get it, he's not rich
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? I'm not rich either, and he wouldn't try. He's not that type, and didn't press it against his exwife when SHE was the one who left him.
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK? I would survive and be okay. I have more money now than I did when I met him and lived alone as a single gal, so I wouldn't be too worried.
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup? - no
2. Who has a higher net worth? - DH has a higher salary, so I guess him, but technically my family is better off than his wealth wise
3. if your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? - no
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? - no
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK? - for awhile, I couldn't live quite as good, but I could make it. I'd have to get a cheaper house or apartment though.
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup? Nope.
2. Who has a higher net worth? Right now, me. Things will probably change later this year.
3. if your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? No... I'd just want things to be done.
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? I wouldn't really care. I'd just want things to be done/less fighting.
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK? Yup!
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup? No
2. Who has a higher net worth? MH does
3. if your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? No, I wouldn't feel that he owed me anything.
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? If he needed it for medical reasons or something, sure.
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK? Yes.
I agree with all of this. Kendra Wilkinson (former girlfriend of Hugh Hefner) and husband Hank Baskett were interviewed once about divorce and I really like what they said...
They said during fights they will say things like "I hate you" or "F you" but they don't mention divorce. I respect that. It shouldn't be a threat thrown around easily.
A friend of mine got into an argument last summer with her boyfriend when talking about marriage. She agrees that divorce isn't an option and a pre-nup is a "way out", but her boyfriend's father is a lawyer and her boyfriend is really for pre-nups (as in, he specifically said he will not get married without one). They're still together but I don't know where their current positions stand.
Like Erin and Stellar, divorce isn't even in our vocabulary. Any of the circumstances that I believe would warrant a divorce (cheating, drug addiction, to name a few) I know that S would never do. I know, I know. Never say never. But I know S would never cheat or do anything for me to question him so divorce is a non-issue for us. People may think I'm naive for thinking that, but whatever. We've been together 17 years and we're pretty damn happy.
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup? No
2. Who has a higher net worth? We're about equal.
3. If your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? No
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? No
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK? Yes
For those that don't believe in Divorce, what if your H cheats on you multiple times?
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup? No
2. Who has a higher net worth? MH
3. if your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? No, unless he did something so horrific that I wanted revenge. Then he'd have to sell the Harley and 57 Chevy Belaire. But I really don't see MH doing anything so horrific.
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? No
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK? I might need to borrow for a down payment on an apartment, but otherwise, yes.
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup? We won't
2. Who has a higher net worth? He does
3. if your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? only if something major went down (like cheating). But that won't happen. Which is why we're not worried about a pre-nup.
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? same as above
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK? Yes
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup? No. I created one on a piece of paper and handed it to DH the night before we got married. I told him to sign it. When we got back to the room, he never signed it and questioned what it was when I specifically TOLD him what it was. smh
2. Who has a higher net worth? DH
3. if your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? Nah, but a few thousand to get me on my feet would be nice.
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? No, because I was dumb enough to leave him. He is a great guy!
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK? Nope. I would be a mess! I am a housewife who is currently prepping for Boards. No money for my license, hotel stay.
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup? No
2. Who has a higher net worth? Me
3. if your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? No
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? No
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK? Yes
Well, he was cheated on in his first marriage and knows first hand how hard it is, so I don't think he would ever do it once, let alone multiple times. But, that being said, if both our hearts were still in it and the cheating was done with someone he wasn't emotionally attached to or still wanting to be with... then I think we would still work it out. Cheating isn't necessarily a dealbreaker to ME, so long as the other person realizes it was a mistake, admits it, and does everything possible to rebuild the trust again.
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup? No.
2. Who has a higher net worth? I do.
3. if your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? He doesn't have anything.
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? I don't have anything.
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK? Financially, yes. Emotionally, I would not do good.
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup? no
2. Who has a higher net worth? he does
3. if your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? No. I don't want anything from him. I'd only leave with my clothes and my dog.
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? No
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK? I'm unemployed. That would be a no. And my sister would be homeless too. I'd likely move into an apt w/my sister and dad would help us until I found a job. To be honest, I'd move from this town. It's too small for both of us and we know too many of the same people. I'd move.
We also do not believe in divorce (ironically since DH is a divorcee). We waited a long time to be married to make sure we were compatible. To address, Jen #'s ? - I don't think that DH is capable of cheating. If he did, I think we would work it out. If it were mutiple times, that's signs of a bigger problem.
I can see that. I think the deal breaker for me would be if he would never stop. I love my grandfather but he did that to my grandmother. Some people can take it, I could not. If it was done and over with, I could see working past it. If it was something that he was going to do for the rest of our lives, I'd be done with it.
I don't see MH cheating but I would want to be prepared of how I'd like to handle a situation if it ever happened.
All of this divorce talk makes me want to hug MH.
Same here.
Kristi and Kerry June 21,2008
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup? No
2. Who has a higher net worth? I guess MH, but I don't think of our assets separately.
3. if your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? No
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? No
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK? I guess, this is tricky because I feel like any money is OUR money.
*MH and I are one of the no divorce couples. We don't joke about it or threaten it when in a fight. It's not something that we view as an option for our life. In response to Jenny#'s question, I guess I sort of think that a person who is strongly against divorce is also strongly against cheating on their spouse.
The radio did a bit on this today, based on the Katy Perry/Russell Brand divorce settlement.
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup? no
2. Who has a higher net worth? DH
3. if your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? No, I would want to sell the house and split the $. That would be enough for me.
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? Haha, you can't get blood from a stone
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK? If I moved into an apartment, yes. I could not afford our house alone.
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup? No
2. Who has a higher net worth? He makes double what I make but my investments are currently worth more so I'm really not sure.
3. if your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? If we split, I'd want half- he makes more than I do but I put up with him nitpicking everything I purchase so he can maintain a huge savings/emergency fund. I deserve half.
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? I'd give him half. When I left XH I gave him everything except my car and my dog because I just wanted out- I'm glad I got out but looking back he didn't deserve to keep all the stuff.
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK? Yes
An American Girl's Travels
I think prenups are a great idea when there are assets- I would much rather make a contract detailing exactly what is mine and exactly what is his when we're still in love vs. when we're breaking up and willing to fight to the death over who gets what. I don't think it is making a bet against your marriage- it is just protecting yourself in the chance that it does happen. People can say you don't believe in divorce and it isn't an option but will they still be saying that when they find out he cheated on them at least 13x?
An American Girl's Travels
1. Did you and your DH sign a pre-nup? No neither of us had money to worry about. lol
2. Who has a higher net worth? he does
3. if your DH left you, would you want a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? No
4. If you left your DH, would you give him a large settlement (if there was $ to be had)? ha ha he makes double what i do so no.
5. If you were left with only the $ you have at this moment, would you be OK? no I would be moving back in with mommy and daddy.