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Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Public breast feeding opinions here
As I sit here and nurse her in the "mothers room" at Babies R Us I wonder what talks opinions are of feeding in public. I know the opinions of moms who feed, but I just think people are very judgy and i hate to offend. But also everyone looks at her and wants to see her when we are out and im unconfortable when my huge boob becomes yhe center of attention. Great if I know you but otherwise... Awkward. Wonder if I will ever get more comfortable.
ETA.. wow, rereading this later from home I realize that I truely suck at posting from my phone, and how much worse it looks when followed by so many intelligent womens opinions. I'll do better.
Re: Public breast feeding opinions here
I'm not modest, by any means, but breast feeding in general was not for me so I never had this issue. I think there is a time and place for it. It just makes some people uncomfortable, and I get that. Designated areas and/or in a very discrete way is fine with me.
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This!
I never had the desire to BF, so, I didn't. She's 14 and healthy. My eldest sister wanted her son to have breast milk, so she pumped and fed him in a bottle. She had to return to work a few weeks after giving birth.
So if you're concerned about breast feeding in public, maybe you could pump and have enough for a bottle or two to take with you?
No baby here; but I don't see anything wrong with it. It's a boob and a source of food. If people have issues with it that's their problem. Since you hardly ever see people BF in public now, I do take a double take when I see a boob pop out, but then I just think "more power to them."
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This. I'm not one to go in the bathroom to feed my kid, but that's just me.
That's what nursing camis are for. I wear them with a cardigan or under a regular shirt. When I NIP, I just pull up the outer shirt and un-hook the cup of the cami. I also use a cover.
Like Jamie, I could never figure out how to BF without taking my shirt off so I never nursed in public. If we were out somewhere I would either nurse in a dressing room, in my car, or in a public restroom.
Since I had the experience BFing Macy, I have seen women out in public nursing that I otherwise would have NEVER noticed. The only reason why I see them now is because I have a trained eye, LOL. I seldom find it offensive because they are usually discrete about it, often times I don't even think twice about it.
However, when I was in college I was a banquet server for a wedding venue here in Orlando called The Ballroom at Church Street. I remember working a wedding once and during dinner a mother was nursing her toddler at the table while carrying on a conversation. And she didn't have a cover up thingy. That struck me as odd. I mean, I get that the kid has got to eat and all, but I just felt that she didn't have to put on such a display. Her boob was in plain sight. If I were a guest at the wedding, trying to enjoy my diner I would have been totally uncomfortable. The mother could have excused herself from the table and went to the couches located in the hallway, a whole 30 feet away. She wouldn't have been totally secluded from the wedding but enough so where it was respectable to the other guests.
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ditto nursing cami. I lived in those things until DS was about 7 months.
Photo/Family Blog
Thanks, that helps a lot! It's winter in Chicago, so I've been really puzzled how to attempt NIP with a sweater on. Perhaps we'll head out sometime this weekend and not worry about having a bottle on hand.
I have zero problems nursing in public, but I do try to be discreet about it because I don't want to make any one feel uncomfortable. No one has ever given me a funny look, in fact usually any one who makes eye contact with me smiles. I've never bothered with a nursing cover, but just used a receiving blanket.
It was harder the first time around when bfing was new to me. I used nursing rooms or went to the car or timed things around his feedings. With the second one, it doesn't bother me at all.
Oh boy, this is a topic that makes me hot. At first it was hard for me to BF in public. Just a modesty issue, really. I also had an issue with Zoe being too distracted when we were in public. Even when she was small, sometimes she wouldn't nurse. I got smart and started taking a bottle out with me...and still do (for some reason she was fine with that), but I could never stay out too long because I would get engorged from missing a feeding. A nursing covered helped keep the distrations to a minumum, but now she doesn't tolerate it as well. She is also entirely too distracted now to even nurse at our house in front of different people so I have to go in another room, otherwise she won't nurse.
If she weren't like that, at this point I've been doing it for almost a year so I would whip it out anywhere. I absolutely refuse to feed her in the bathroom and never have. I never pumped in a bathroom either. I refuse. Do you want to eat your food in a bathroom?
I think that every woman is different and if you don't feel comfortable nursing in public, that is your choice. It's cool. I get it. But when people say we shouldn't nurse in public because it's like a man exposing himself or someone defecating or having sex....um, no. People say, "what am I supposed to tell my child when they ask what you're doing?" Um, tell them that I am feeding my child, just as if she were getting a bottle. Sheesh. If you look around anywhere you'll see more boobs on a woman wearing a skimpy shirt than you'll see while I'm nursing. How about the commercials on TV with women wearing next to nothing. That's ok? Good grief.
If you're worried about exposing your stomach when you nurse, buy some nursing shirts. They are the best!
Definitely worth the investment.
It makes me sad that women in the US stop BF because they feel it's too much of a hassle/ are embarassed to do it in public/ get harassed for it. You should stop BFing your kid on your own terms and not have to worry what society thinks.
I am planning on BF after Zoe turns 1. I can't wait to hear all the crap I get for that.....
I was a different case, as I BF'd until DS was almost 2, but my boobs never got bigger. And I'm only a 32B now, so I didn't have to wear a nursing bra or nursing tank. I could just pull down any low cut shirt and bam, there ya go.
That being said, I was very comfortable with NIP, but I did always wear a cover, that's just me. It definitely takes some getting used to, so just do what is best for you and I'm sure you'll figure it out.
And I'm with you Jen. Whipping out a boob is no where near the same as a man exposing his junk. Its what the boob was intended for, society (American society) has sexualized it to a pretty severe point.
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You all know where I work right? Behind the bar in a busy restaurant at International Plaza. A few months ago on a packed Saturday night there was an Indian family, like from India, waiting for a table at the bar. One of the women pulled up on a stool and nursed her baby under a cover while carrying on multiple conversations and celebrating a special event with her family. No one noticed. No one looked twice (at least not that I was aware of). I probably wouldn't have, but I was late in pregnancy and it was on my mind. I was totally impressed at the skill that must be involved with that, but when I told a very left wing friend about it later she was offended just hearing the story. It's just weird. I've seen some serious boobs and cleavage at International Plaza. Half of the time the male bartenders I work with are barely able to perform their job because they are so distracted. But this woman who is feeding her child is the one who is wrong. It carries such a stigma that even the most liberal women can be judgemental in this "free country".
That's it. I'm whipping it out today
Looks like everyone has pretty much already covered what I was going to say. Nursing tanks, button down shirts, and nursing cover are your friends if you prefer to be discreet. When I NIPed, I covered for me, not because I was worried about offending people. That being said, it is much more difficult to pull off using the cover as DS got older. Not every kid will let you put something over their head. That shouldn't mean that you have to quarantine yourself at home just because someone might catch a glimpse of side boobage (a glimpse that would be a brief flash if they'd look away politely instead of gawking so they can judge you).
Anyone who is narrow-minded enough to judge a nursing mother for feeding her child isn't someone whose opinion I'm going worry about. It really makes me sad to think that some women stop nursing even in part because of the anxiety of NIP. It's pretty sad that this is the state of our culture that we have to choose social correctness over the health of babies.
So, so true!
Go for it!