Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Housing vent
I've been wanting to move for about a year now. We have a great little house, but it definitely lacks some of the bells and whistles I'd like. Master bath, two car driveway and garage, big closets, more space. D is obsessed with savings and paying off student loans and reducing the mortgage, so I agreed we'd stay in that house a bit longer, have a kid there, then move. Well we were just discussing a refi were planning where we will pay off another 20% of our mortgage. We did this same thing last year. We're also getting ready to pay off my private student loans. Federal well keep because the interest is so low. Anywho, he proceeds to tell me "I bet we could pay off this house in 5 years.". Me: "uh, except well be out of this house way before then hon.". Him: "I don't think so.". Me: ::head explodes:: we are just NOT on the same page here. Blah.
Re: Housing vent
Ugh, I hated waiting for Mr. Spiderman to be ready to move. What's worse is that when I wanted to sell was right before the bubble burst, so we would have ended up selling for about $40k more than what we got 2 years later. Foot dragging bastard.
Why does D want to pay off the house so badly? What is his reasoning? I guess I don't see a point in staying and paying something off when you don't intend to stay there. He is being absurd.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Most people have a mortgage. You're way better off investing some that you can pull out any time if you need the cash. Especially once you start a family.
In some ways I think you can easily be happy in your house and adjust. I don't think moving will be quite as great as you think. The next house you have will be lacking in something you have now, or you'll have a new annoyance you never had to worry about before. On the other hand sometimes little improvements can really change your life more drastically than you expected. Size and bells and whistles aside, now that I have a really dark bedroom, I sleep better than I ever knew was possible. Not really what you're talking about but you know what I mean. Like going from having to use coin laundry to having a washer dryer in your home. Who could EVER go back??
This isn't very helpful. I think what I'm saying is Dennis needs to relax and think about moving, but you shouldn't be too devastated if it doesn't happen.
/Pollyanna
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
House debt is the good kind of debt. Well, I mean unless you really effed yourself, which I am sure you didn't.
We had planned on moving because of some issues we have but now doing the renovations has made me happy that we are staying and just making it fit our needs.
Is that an option or would he be against even that?
I'm with Fent and Winged.
I wanted to move so bad but it's not in the cards for us, so we are renovating to make the house a better fir.
I have no closets and it is a constant source of pain and misery.
ETA: Also, not paying any mortgage interest will most likely pork you come tax time.
For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
Angie makes an excellent point. Having a liveable mortgage is not a bad thing. You can (usually) get better returns on that money elsewhere. Especially if you have a low rate.
Not being on the same page is no fun.
Mucho likes purple nails and purple cupcakes
He's talking finacial and you're talking comfort when you really have several GREAT financial arguments on your side. Interest rates are rock bottom right now, so if you wait 5 years to buy, you are looking at potentially a much higher rate which means you'll be paying more money for the same house. The tax deduction on mortgages is another. Plus, in some areas, smaller homes are really competative for ist time buyers and people looking to downside. Your house might sell better now - and you might get a great price on the kind of house you want that might be struggling for offers.
Start going to open houses - they are free, no pressure andreally gives you a sense of what's going on in the market. Looking isn't buying - but knowing what one of your biggest assets is compared to others is worth investigating. Interests rates will likely stay low for another year, but they will go up some time.
And since he's sees you in this house in 5 years with a paid-off mortgage, what then? Is he really going to want to get a new mortgage on a bigger, more expensive house, or is he goigng to want to enjoy the seucrity for a while longer. That's an important answer to get.
This is a great point. We were competing with multiple offers on all 3 houses we tried to buy last fall. Teeny little starter homes, each one a bidding war.
The poster formerly known as PDXPhotoGrl
Just playing devil's advocate here, but have you thought about what life would be like without any debt (house, student loan, or otherwise)? Think of all the money you would have to play with and set aside for retirement.
I have the same space issue with my house, but it is paid for. I only pay 2600 in taxes on it a year. That's only $220-ish a month set aside. I would much rather stay here and pay off what's left on my student loans than to go buy something bigger with a master bathroom that is more than an en-suite the size of a closet.
I would suggest you and your husband sit down and talk this out. Just venting here isn't going to do anything but make you more frustrated. Discuss the pros and cons of staying in the house.
"As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
Word.
We bought our current house sooner than I was really thinking. We thought there was no way rates would go below 5% (ha), so S was eager and I went along. If you guys are going to move anyway, now's the time. Appeal to him in terms of interest rates and tax breaks, then let me help you look for houses. It's one of my favorite things to do.
Me too! I wanna look for houses and be amazed at how much more you can get for your money there than here.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
You were recently unemployed awhile right? I wonder if its more about feeling the burden of holding up a mortgage on a bigger house if something like that happens again.
I know that sometimes I feel more like we should buy something only one of us could afford.
He thinks I'm a bit paranoid.
Lanie - I've also wondered if that experience has made him a little gun shy. But we got by just fine during that period. We just stopped saving and cut some spending. So I don't know.
Fent and Audrey - NO to Chesterfield. I like the area I'm in now, and I like this school district. Areas I would consider: Webster; Kirkwood; Fenton; Crestwood; Sunset Hills; maybe farther out into South County? I sort of dream of the city sometimes, especially with my good friend recently house hunting there, but I don't think I see us moving that direction. On principal alone, over the 1% income tax.
We did talk a bit when I got home tonight. We're going to refi for now, pay off 20%, and take a 15 year mortgage on the remainder. I'm fine staying here another year. Possibly two. I can't picture us here in five. We agreed we're not on the same page exactly, but maybe we should revisit this further down the road. He did say that if we paid off the house in 5 years, wouldn't that be great? And then I could be a stay at home mom. ::cue my eyes bugging out of my head:: Not for me. I think he thought I would be SO EXCITED at that idea.