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How should I approach this

H goes to the gym every evening. He doesn't really have a set schedule, it's kind of when he finally gets ready, he goes. I accompany when I can (when I feel well enough).

Here lately, he's been going right at dinner time. It pisses me off. I've spent all day conjuring up what to make, take the time to make it and you take an hour and a half at the gym during dinner time.

That's not the only thing that bothers me. I stay home all day waiting for him to get home to keep me company and he just scrams to the gym for almost 2 hours. He gets home around 6 p.m. and he comes home, gets ready, goes to gym and doesn't get back until close to 9.

We got into a little argument yesterday over this. I see his point - he wants to be healthy and wants to get his energy out, but there has to be a happy medium!

HALP!

 

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Re: How should I approach this

  • He works hard and mabye this is his way of getting out stress, so let him.  I think if you weren't home stewing over it all day this wouldn't be a problem.
  • I think I'm like YH in the situation. The best thing I can think of is to talk to him and let him know how it makes you feel.

    Maybe you guys can come up with some sort of schedule so on the days he does go you won't make such lavish dish.

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  • Good point, Ang.

    I would still get upset when I was working. I just get more upset now because before dinner would be some take out or something easy. Now my meals are elaborate and I spend lots of time making them. Does that make sense?

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  • How do you feel about planning for a later dinner?  On Tues/Thurs I take a cardio class that starts at 6:30 (I'll get home around 8), and usually 2 other weekdays I'l go to the gym right after work (won't be home until 8 or so - the gym is only 5 min from my office, but 20 min from home so it makes more sense for me to go right from work).   Anyway, S and I have dinner when I get home and that seems to work for us.  Is that an option for you?

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  • I guess if it is worth it to you, explain to him how you feel and about how much effort you put into the meal.

    I know that MH needs his down time and also time to himself without me nagging him, so I give that to him. 

  • Maybe you could figure out something that works for both of you but he's not really doing anything wrong. I think because you're home all day it bothers you more.
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  • imagevxs0038:

    That's not the only thing that bothers me. I stay home all day waiting for him to get home to keep me company and he just scrams to the gym for almost 2 hours. He gets home around 6 p.m. and he comes home, gets ready, goes to gym and doesn't get back until close to 9.

    I think this is your main problem.  You're relying on him to keep you company and he's not living up to your expectations.  Have you considered any volunteer work while you're looking for a job?  I'm sure that being stuck at home day in and day out gets boring and lonely, but it's unfair to YH to expect him to entertain you the second he's off work.  As you know, working itself is stressful and going to the gym is probably his way of letting that stress go.

    Damn you Nest for screwing up my siggy!

    .: Diary of a Recovering Runner :.

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